Fight, Flight or Freeze?

[zurb]

In times of stress, how are you most likely to react? I suspect that we have a similar mix to NTs, but maybe the intensity or how it is expressed may differ? What are your thoughts?

For me, it's probably most often freeze. Oftentimes performance anxiety and selective mutism kicks in and I just shut down.

 

[Sass]

In a situation where I feel out of my depth I usually flee, but equally in intimate situations as a teenager I'd always freeze.

 

[King_Oni]

My main instinct is fight. Though over time, fighting all the time is exhausting and thus I sometimes avoid conflict which turns it into pro-active flight instead.

I've had a short period where freeze was a bit of my go to though. But that eventually did prove to not solve anything, nor did flight.

I think the times that I choose flight, I just gather myself for a tactical retreat to fight on my terms later on.

 

[Peace]

My first is flight, second is shutdown and my third (God help whomever it is), is Fight! After any of these I suffer exhaustion and need alone time to recover.

 

[toothless]

full on fight,am heavily medicated though and thankfuly dont suffer from this as much as used to.

 

[Christy]

I freeze. If I can retreat, then I do that, but it's not a flight response I don't think. I usually just take it until they give up on me.

When I am forced (for example a tiler cornered me for money which I wouldn't give him on the advice of the builder that the job was not complete), I will stand my ground and talk reasonably even though they yell and scream at me, but again that's not really a fight response either.

The issue I have is that the anxiety sky rockets so badly that I visibly shake and I loose my voice. This is a signal to the other person that they have gone too far, and they either back off, or they put more pressure on me with the expectation I am about to crack.

The whole thing leaves me so shaken and upset and devoid of energy it takes me days if not weeks to recover.

 

[Flinty]

Freeze...but then that should be the reaction of most Canadians.

Fight never happens. Thank goodness.

 

[Nitro]

Fight and flight...I have zero tolerance for confrontation of any kind

I am actually a person who is liked by most I come in contact with and I ignore the ones who do not know how to behave (flight)...sometimes that hurts worse than any punch (fight)

 

[Mattymatt]

In times of stress, how are you most likely to react? I suspect that we have a similar mix to NTs, but maybe the intensity or how it is expressed may differ? What are your thoughts?

For me, it's probably most often freeze. Oftentimes performance anxiety and selective mutism kicks in and I just shut down.

Good question! I initially react with flight until I feel like I cannot retreat, then I do what I must. Think cornered animal.

 

[ExplosiveTMT]

I wouldn't use the word fight to describe the outbursts I've had in the past.
I did get quite violent, only, never towards people, but towards objects.
I was destructive, like a bulldozer.
Every object in my vicinity got thrown or broken in some form or another. :-/

Those days are behind me though, thankfully, now that I get the support I need.

 

[Mattymatt]

Sorry, I mis communicated. I meant I feel like fighting but never act on it

 

[zurb]

Fight doesn't have to be violent. It could also be 'I'm going to work to prove them wrong'

For example, my team leaders lied to me to try and get me to 'fight' to prove them wrong and thereby perform to their expectations. Instead it just caused me to go into shutdown. Which in turn was probably interpreted as rebellion or defiance or some such.

 

[Nitro]

Fight doesn't have to be violent. It could also be 'I'm going to work to prove them wrong'

True as well...never tell me that I can't or I will to prove you wrong

 

[zurb]

True as well...never tell me that I can't or I will to prove you wrong

This works with me when it's not intentional and just presented as a fact. But if it's manipulation related to job performance and job security, it doesn't.

 

[Nitro]

I never had to worry about job performance...I spent most of my working life self-employed and only worked for others after asking for significant compensation...it was easy to walk off a job and pick up the pace at my own work or was begged by others to try me out...I remember getting laid off from a job by my choice,had a business start up going and told the next employer that I wanted his job,but he was going to have to wait for me...I became his second in command there in six months and refused his top position when he offered it to me six months later...a year and a half later,I quit over a disagreement about having my crew come to work and sit on their butts making toys to pass the days because my crew out ran his sales staff and he hated unemployment...my start-up had three employees by then and once again,I quit.

(I personally built a pneumatic beer can crusher out of about $5,000 worth of stainless steel,an air cylinder and assorted electrical controls that was magazine fed,bolt action and crushed cans lightning fast so flat the metal for the hole was pushed back into place and the can was 1/8th inch thick) (there was another day I made a common garage drain lid out of stainless steel hand polished with nuclear spec welds and 27 drain holes in a circular pattern using XY coordinates on a manual milling machine because the trig took longer to do) (the hand polished stainless steel barbeque tool set with nuke grade welds and left-hand beehive wound spring handles...springs are wound right hand commercially and getting a perfect beehive is challenging by hand...the fork took 8 tries to get the pre-ground points to line up perfectly after it was bent)
..

 

[Owls12]

For me personally, I say freeze, with a bit of flee to it (like a cup of iced tea). Whenever at a point in time where I feel demoralised in anything, a hobby, social interaction. If I feel I've done something wrong, done something that's not usually my best, feel I've made a fool of myself in social situations etc etc, knowing myself I would usually mentally shutdown, and give up, until the next opportunity arrives, or if I find something else to keep me feeling happy and secure. I think I try my best to overlook whatever's stressing me, which could arguably be the best option maybe. So ehh... I wouldn't say I'm the "fighting" type.

 

[artfull dodger]

I usualy freeze up, and cant figure out what to say, so I just shut down. Now if I am pushed or backed into a corner/confronted I can go into meltdown mode and go off on someone and say things I dont really mean.

 

[Harrison]

I usualy freeze up, and cant figure out what to say, so I just shut down. Now if I am pushed or backed into a corner/confronted I can go into meltdown mode and go off on someone and say things I dont really mean.

I'm the same. The bizarre thing, for me, is that when I meltdown I seem to be calmly watching myself do it and unable to stop. As a few others have said, I end up exhausted and my mind will churn over it for days.

 

[clg114]

At almost 70 years old, I'm to old to take a beating and to young to die. In the last few years I've became a armed citizen and as such I have a moral responsibility to retreat until I can not retreat any more. So for me it's flight, every time.

 

[icesyckel]

I believe, so long as I am minding my own business and not provoking anything, then I have a right to choose whether to fight or flee. There are too many variables for me to have an absolute rule. I tend to deflect when possible, though.

Freeze is just plain bad, though. Run, stand and fight, or manipulate your way to out of the situation, but don't just stand there.