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Feeling or Acting Younger ??

sabrdawg

sabrdawg

Well-Known Member
Does anyone else here act and feel a lot younger than their age? I've been this way my whole life.

I'm 35, but often am mistaken for about 22. I still feel like a teenager. While a lot of my peers are off on their own and starting families, or have started families years ago, I have no interest in that lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally happy for them and love seeing posts about their kids, but it's just not the life that I want.

I'm still a big kid, myself :) I llive at home, and aside from working my 3 jobs, have minimal responsibilities. I have the time to come and go as I please, and hang out with friends and family. I love not being tied down by anything.

When I was younger, I was treated as if the way I acted was "wrong." I was often shamed by my dad for acting younger than my age, and was told to act older than I felt. I was simply acting in a manner that came naturally to me. This hurt, and I just wanted to be accepted for who I was. It lasted through my 20s.

Fast forward to when I was undergoing my autism assessment at 31. I had educated my parents about autism, and they were asked to complete a questionnaire as part of my assessment. Once they learned why I did a lot of the things I did, they began to understand. My dad no longer pressed the issue of acting older, and started to accept me just as I am. Up until his passing last month, he supported me, as my mom has been doing as well. My parents were proud of the self-advocacy work I had become involved in.

So, today, I just take life one day at a time and make sure to take time to stop and smell the roses. Life is what you make it, and I want mine to be fun! :)
 
Yes, at 48, I am told I look much younger and certainly do not act like a mature woman, although I do have "mature" responsiblites ie marriage and caring for the home and doing the finances.

When I get excited, I am like a child.

However, it is a common theme that runs through nts thread, so to speak. Many do not FEEL their age, but yes, there is a difference.

I see nts have fun etc, but still well, you can see they are doing it in an adult way, whereas when I am having "fun" it is fairly obvious that I am doing it in a "childish" way and have been told: do remember you are 48 not 8. My husband. But that is because he does not wish to be embarrassed in public.

If a song comes on in a shop, I am afraid that social phobia disappears and I am singing and dancing, because it is by my favourite artist.
 
I wish I had that problem. When I asked one of my students "How old do I look?" They said "57", I'm 39 haha.
I like your living one day at a time and I too am young at heart.
 
I do not look young, but on the other hand I do not look 72 ether. One of the guys at cheeseworld told me he thought that was in my late 50s or early 60s. Now I know that to most of you that is pretty old, but I will still take it.
 
I feel I have a childlike wonder where I can feel a sense of fascination over things that people my age probably don't feel, like animated movies I find inspiring despite being aimed for children. At the same time, I feel older in some ways, like trying to look beyond how things seem or things that hurt our world like sex trafficking and climate change.
 
Up until my 50's I was always told I looked much younger than I am. Getting out of my car once a lady noticed car seats in the back and asked about them. I told her they were for when I get my grandsons and she looked surprised and said she didn't think I looked old enough to have kids, let alone grandkids. I was 41 when my first grandchild was born and went through a phase thinking maybe it was time to start acting like a grandma and learn to sit in a rocking chair and knit. It wasn't long though and I decided, "No, I'm still gonna be me." And that me never acted my age. I learned to ride a motorcycle at age 50. But age eventually stops you from doing things. You hurt and just can't do what you like. So now I do act like a gramma. lol Except my son was telling me one day that he liked that I get down in the floor with my grandkids. I was surprised to hear that no other grandparent did that. But now when I'm out west, where it's not as humid I feel better physically and can do more. This past summer, with my son and his family, we camped, drove along difficult jeep trails, took naps in the truck at rest areas, and I loved it. The only thing I didn't like was our camping was not in campgrounds, it would be out in middle of nowhere and I never liked having to go to the bathroom outside and I quickly learned that my bell bottom pants needed to be tucked into my socks first. lol Oh - yes I still wear bell bottoms, so I guess I still don't dress my age either. :)
 
Pats said:
Up until my 50's I was always told I looked much younger than I am. Getting out of my car once a lady noticed car seats in the back and asked about them. I told her they were for when I get my grandsons and she looked surprised and said she didn't think I looked old enough to have kids, let alone grandkids. I was 41 when my first grandchild was born and went through a phase thinking maybe it was time to start acting like a grandma and learn to sit in a rocking chair and knit. It wasn't long though and I decided, "No, I'm still gonna be me." And that me never acted my age. I learned to ride a motorcycle at age 50. But age eventually stops you from doing things. You hurt and just can't do what you like. So now I do act like a gramma. lol Except my son was telling me one day that he liked that I get down in the floor with my grandkids. I was surprised to hear that no other grandparent did that. But now when I'm out west, where it's not as humid I feel better physically and can do more. This past summer, with my son and his family, we camped, drove along difficult jeep trails, took naps in the truck at rest areas, and I loved it. The only thing I didn't like was our camping was not in campgrounds, it would be out in middle of nowhere and I never liked having to go to the bathroom outside and I quickly learned that my bell bottom pants needed to be tucked into my socks first. lol Oh - yes I still wear bell bottoms, so I guess I still don't dress my age either. :)
Click to expand...

You can still buy bell bottoms?
 
According to a survey several years ago, most people think of themselves as ten years younger than they actually are. I definitely fall into this category.
 
I feel both older and younger than I am at the same time. I'm quite responsible and I enjoy calmer spaces and avoid crowds, but I'm also quite connected to the kid in me and will likely not pass a puppy without petting it or a bouncy castle without jumping on it (though I'll try to convince the person I'm with to go too so I don't feel so silly).

I like it this way. As a kid my world was unsafe and chaotic and so I feel like I have some stuff to catch up on. I'm also the only person I know who doesn't mind getting older. I actually kind of like it.
 
Yeah can identify with a lot on this thread, always been a big kid at heart, have that child like wonderment at things just being goofy, actually get on with small children really quite well haha.

I'm 46 but have been mistaken for late 20s and people routinely think I'm about early / mid 30s, have very few wrinkles etc.
 
I'm 23, and I started teaching music lessons last year, and I'm continually shocked that people are willing to pay me teach their kids, when I still feel like a kid. Why am I in charge of children; I am one!
 
I will turn 44 in a couple of months, and for years I would do things that my parents thought were "childish" like blurting out comments to people that my parents thought were inappropriate. But that's really just part of autism, and I don't do that anymore.

I hated being a kid because I was constantly being beaten and screamed at by my dad because he couldn't figure out why I couldn't just stop behavior that he thought was willful disobedience but that I couldn't control. My teachers in school all hated me for the same reason.

So I couldn't wait to be an adult. I moved out 3 days after my high school graduation, to downtown which was 25 miles from their home, then I moved to San Francisco at 19 which is 90 miles farther away. After rents went up to a point I couldn't afford them I lived in an RV behind my grandparents' house because by then my dad liked not having me be in the same house with him.

I eventually got the hang of being an adult, and my mom now says (my dad died 3 years ago) that's she's so glad that I "finally" grew up. I don't like childish things, all my interests are mature ones.
 
I never ask a stranger how old I look to them. To me, it's a loaded question. When asked my age, I will tell the truth and some people say I look younger. It's polite, if not partially true in their eyes. I think it is my behavior that suggests youthfulness to others. I get along well with young people, so perhaps that contributes to maintaining a youthful demeanor. I have always felt 26 inside, but I am keenly aware that this number is only in my head. I was shocked when I realized I had turned 60. I translated that into meaning "last call". But it wasn't. My interests haven't changed, but I know I have some limitations in physical activity. That's to be expected. I've never been able to guess another person's age. I don't know what to look for. I have found that hands give away age better than faces. Age doesn't really matter as long as you haven't lost your sense of adventure and ability to laugh. Life is serious, so you need to inject fun and excitement wherever possible.
 
Peter Morrison said:
I never ask a stranger how old I look to them. To me, it's a loaded question. When asked my age, I will tell the truth and some people say I look younger. It's polite, if not partially true in their eyes. I think it is my behavior that suggests youthfulness to others. I get along well with young people, so perhaps that contributes to maintaining a youthful demeanor. I have always felt 26 inside, but I am keenly aware that this number is only in my head. I was shocked when I realized I had turned 60. I translated that into meaning "last call". But it wasn't. My interests haven't changed, but I know I have some limitations in physical activity. That's to be expected. I've never been able to guess another person's age. I don't know what to look for. I have found that hands give away age better than faces. Age doesn't really matter as long as you haven't lost your sense of adventure and ability to laugh. Life is serious, so you need to inject fun and excitement wherever possible.
Click to expand...
I've always said if I ever get to the point I can't laugh, to just shoot me.
 
Pats said:
Up until my 50's I was always told I looked much younger than I am. Getting out of my car once a lady noticed car seats in the back and asked about them. I told her they were for when I get my grandsons and she looked surprised and said she didn't think I looked old enough to have kids, let alone grandkids. I was 41 when my first grandchild was born and went through a phase thinking maybe it was time to start acting like a grandma and learn to sit in a rocking chair and knit. It wasn't long though and I decided, "No, I'm still gonna be me." And that me never acted my age. I learned to ride a motorcycle at age 50. But age eventually stops you from doing things. You hurt and just can't do what you like. So now I do act like a gramma. lol Except my son was telling me one day that he liked that I get down in the floor with my grandkids. I was surprised to hear that no other grandparent did that. But now when I'm out west, where it's not as humid I feel better physically and can do more. This past summer, with my son and his family, we camped, drove along difficult jeep trails, took naps in the truck at rest areas, and I loved it. The only thing I didn't like was our camping was not in campgrounds, it would be out in middle of nowhere and I never liked having to go to the bathroom outside and I quickly learned that my bell bottom pants needed to be tucked into my socks first. lol Oh - yes I still wear bell bottoms, so I guess I still don't dress my age either. :)
Click to expand...

That's awesome that you wear bell-bottoms! Even though I didn't arrive on the earth until '83, I love 70s culture :)
 
I think I might be the opposite. Not that it is bad.
In general I feel like a couple years older then my age, because Im taking responsibilty for alot of things. Also my brother and I are both diagnosed with pdd nos. His pdd nos effects him more then me, wich means he needs more help. That isnt bad, dont get me wrong. But in consinderation that my mother has huge headaches and lupus I sometimes have to step in to both help them. Maybe that is why I learned at a young age to be responsible and think more like an adult, wich results me to mostly think like an adult.
Besides that I feel even tho my brother is older then me that im actually way older then him when it comes to the general topics like work, college and all of that kind of things. My brothet hasnt developed those skills yet wich means when it comes to life itself im more skilled. Making me sometimes uncomfterable.

About getting children? Later, when im at least 7 years older, have a healthy life ( a stable job, a healthy relationship, a safe house and ofcourse other factors.). Im also okay with never having children, I dont nessarly want them but it would be nice to have one.

A little side note: I do have certain passion for things wich could be described as childlike reactions when I see them or do them. But I think deep down in ourselfs that we never grow up completly. For example those things are video games, the famous (under dutch people) attraction park efteling and the harry potter franchise (books and movies included).

Analyses for myself: In general Im either my age when it comes to feelings or Im with my mindset a bit older.
 
Alis1998 said:
I think I might be the opposite. Not that it is bad.
In general I feel like a couple years older then my age, because Im taking responsibilty for alot of things. Also my brother and I are both diagnosed with pdd nos. His pdd nos effects him more then me, wich means he needs more help. That isnt bad, dont get me wrong. But in consinderation that my mother has huge headaches and lupus I sometimes have to step in to both help them. Maybe that is why I learned at a young age to be responsible and think more like an adult, wich results me to mostly think like an adult.
Besides that I feel even tho my brother is older then me that im actually way older then him when it comes to the general topics like work, college and all of that kind of things. My brothet hasnt developed those skills yet wich means when it comes to life itself im more skilled. Making me sometimes uncomfterable.

About getting children? Later, when im at least 7 years older, have a healthy life ( a stable job, a healthy relationship, a safe house and ofcourse other factors.). Im also okay with never having children, I dont nessarly want them but it would be nice to have one.

A little side note: I do have certain passion for things wich could be described as childlike reactions when I see them or do them. But I think deep down in ourselfs that we never grow up completly. For example those things are video games, the famous (under dutch people) attraction park efteling and the harry potter franchise (books and movies included).

Analyses for myself: In general Im either my age when it comes to feelings or Im with my mindset a bit older.
Click to expand...

My brother and I have a similar relationship to that of yours. He's almost 4 years younger, yet is the more "responsible" one. Don't get me wrong, I'm not irresponsible...after all, I have a Bachelor's in Social Work and three jobs in the human services field, and I just bought a car...however, my brother has had his own house for 2 years, works as an engineer and has a lot of supervisory duties at times, and is WAY better with managing money than I am. I still live at home. While I manage to pay all my bills, and even save here and there, I still struggle with impulse spending. My brother helps me out here and there, such as when I need to borrow money (I make sure to pay him back), or for moral support, such as when I went to purchase said car. I do the same for him when he needs a hand with things. It's symbiotic, and we're very close :)

I have come a long way. I completed a debt resolution program 4 years ago, and have managed to bring my credit score up to the 700s. I used to let people walk all over me, and while I admit it is still difficult to tell a wolf in sheep's clothing, have brought myself to end an abusive friendship about 10 years ago. I'm still not a very assertive person, however I have learned to be more careful and not let others overstep my boundaries. Overall, I have just learned more about the world, and how to be more open-minded. I'm not as naive as I used to be.

So, all of that said, in a nutshell, my brother looks out for me, despite the fact I'm the oldest. He just happened to be ready for independence before me, and that's ok. Since my dad's recent passing, I have no intentions of leaving home. I want to be there for my mom, and truthfully, I don't feel I'd manage very well on my own at this point in my life. After all, with 3 jobs, who has TIME to take care of their own place, even if they wanted to? I know I don't, nor do I have the energy! Working full-time overnights, plus part-time and relief tires me out! It's all worth it, though :)
 
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