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Feeling Like I Need To Not Be Here

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Soleil, Jan 27, 2021.

  1. Soleil

    Soleil Well-Known Member

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    Okay, I know I'm not alone in this, but sometimes when I'm out and about, I start to kind of panic about nothing. I feel like I really can't be there anymore, and I need to be home. But I can't just wake up, like if I were having a bad dream; I need to make the effort to finish what I'm doing and actually drive home.

    Not just when something bad is happening, like a car accident or a medical problem, or someone yelling at me, but even when I'm just shopping. I start feeling anxious, and sometimes I catch myself just standing around doing nothing, because, like, doing something would be admitting to myself that I'm there? I guess? And I have to bring myself back to reality because logically I know that the only way to feel better is if I actively take the steps needed to finish what I'm doing and leave.
     
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  2. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    yes the methodical approach works for me too. I check time frames: then I know I'm not going to turn into a pumpkin if I take my time getting home.
     
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  3. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    Do you have sudden feelings like “I am really here?” or is it more like you pick up bad vibes or morphic fields?
     
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  4. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

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    This happens to me. I think I just have a limit to how long I can be somewhere "different" than I usually am. I can tolerate it until a certain point, and then I start getting really stressed out and disoriented. I just want to go home and go to my room so I can calm down and be in a familiar space.
     
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  5. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I face this everytime I have to go somewhere to do something.
    The feeling of being out there away from home, surrounded by people and noise can
    make me feel disoriented and things suddenly seem surreal.

    I was told by my therapist this is a type of dissociative disorder.
    It is the brain's way of trying to protectic itself from the overload of suddenly realising you are
    in the big store or where ever.
    I try to ride it out, but, sometimes it becomes intolerable.
    When I am not close to home and face a long drive back, there is nothing to do but go somewhere
    to myself away from the noise, movements of people and concentrate on relaxation skills
    I've learned through the years.

    I've accomplished how to handle this quite well as it used to progress into a panic attack.
    Now I can avoid them or at least only have a short, small one.
    Haven't had a full blown 'ten' attack in many years.
    Practice finally worked. But, I still head for my room when I get home to calm down even more.
     
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  6. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Yes, this sometimes happens to me, too and I deal with it by making myself finish. I sometimes pause somewhere quiet to collect myself.

    I also get the disorientated/dissasociative feeling that @SusanLR describes - I get it when going from a relatively low stimulating environment to a more intense one - going to the supermarket at night causes this, the cinema and coming out of the cinema, Christmas did this to me as a child.
     
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  7. Soleil

    Soleil Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure what you mean by "morphic fields". It's hard to explain, especially since it's not super common, but it is common enough that it's a recurring thing.
    The best I can describe it is almost like drifting out of phase. I start feeling anxious and panicky and kind of space out and forget where I am.

    Hm... things like this don't make me feel dissociative, but they definitely case a little disorientation.