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Feeling hopeless

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Markness, May 7, 2020.

  1. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    I am feeling hopeless about ever getting better, especially these days. I took an online college course for the last few months but it didn’t make me feel like I was evolving as a person. My family is pressuring me to do another course for the summer and I feel anxious about it since I’ve taken summer courses before and they are very intense since they tend to be short. I am worried about getting a bad grade and it would also mean I paid a large sum for nothing since even junior college courses are not cheap. I am way behind my siblings in regards to education and they all have careers. The amount of classes I have to take for even an Associate’s Degree is daunting and my job interferes with how many classes I can take.

    I am currently taking a full dose of the medication I’ve been on for two months now and it’s not helping me deal with the depression I suffer from daily. Just like with previous medications, it no longer has an effect on my brain like it’s gotten used to the medicine.

    I keep having bizarre or horrific dreams every night (possibly the side effect of taking melatonin before bed) and when I wake up, I am assaulted with negative thoughts. I fear what will happen if my car breaks down for good, if I will ever move out of my mother’s house, will I ever make new friends (and if they will even last), will I ever get talented at anything, and will I ever have a girlfriend after being single since 2010.
     
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  2. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    Family expectations might not match your own. Do you want to continue studying? There's no sense spending time and money on subjects you have no interest or passion for.

    Ask yourself what you want to do and then speak to your parents about it. Mental health might not improve if you're stuck in studies or jobs you don't like.

    Ed
     
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  3. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It sounds like you are feeling low for a number of reasons which are all valid, and most of which you can get help with, so don't feel hopeless. I would think you need some medical help to try to find you better sleep and functional antidepressants. Also, your family need to know that until that's achieved, you can't take another course.

    When you have better support, you could look at whether there's a training or course you do actually want to do, but if there isn't, that's up to you, not others, to decide. It's definitely harder to do a qualification while working.

    There's always aspects of courses that are less interesting than others, but I have never taken a training I didn't largely enjoy, I don't think I could get through one. But if there may be something you would enjoy and care about, and that would lead to work you would like, that's worth looking at. But first you need more sleep and effective medications.

    I hope you can get help with this soon, is there a family member or friend who listens well and would understand and help?
     
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  4. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Why is it that bizarre dreams are so un-nerving? I wake up in a total fit and it creeps into my day, black residue sitting right outside my determination to be here and now. It overshadows the entire day.

    Maybe work on believing in yourself. Finding the things you like about yourself. Finding things to be thankful for. Sometimes volunteer work is an excellent way to be productive and move outside of your negative thoughts. Nonprofits are so thankful for your help.
    I actually have volunteer for a huge performing arts center. It has 317 volunteers and 23 staff members. You can volunteer even to perform on stage. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2020
  5. Matthias

    Matthias Well-Known Member

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    I was depressed my entire life but am no longer depressed now thanks to CBT which I did on my own without a therapist.

    First, I watched a series of 8 short Youtube videos at

    After watching, I thought about what beliefs I had that made me feel depressed. I realized they were all due to the cognitive distortions described in the videos. Then, I changed my beliefs so they were more accurate. That's all I needed to do although I bought the self-help book below to feel even better. A good self-esteem is important which doesn't require being good at anything, it just requires not having negative distorted beliefs about yourself.

    If those videos aren't enough, I recommend the book "feeling good" by David D. Burns , M.D. A study found 70% of those who read it were cured of depression within 4 weeks and remained free of depression 3 years later, neither seeking nor receiving drugs or psychotherapy during that 3 year period after reading the book.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2020
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  6. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    A word to the wise, Markness. FormerlyAutistic is a curebie. I highly doubt that the study he mentions called it a cure for depression. And he engaged in a lengthy and fruitless conversation about how he cured his autism through CBT.

    For all of us here, a reduction in symptoms would be welcome and sufficient.
     
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  7. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Also, Markness, just don't take a summer course. You are feeling unnecessary anxiety. So relax and enjoy your summer.
     
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  8. Matthias

    Matthias Well-Known Member

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    The study found that 70% no longer met the DSM criteria for depression after 4 weeks.

    Dr. Burns was as skeptic who didn't believe it at first either but after trying it with patients found it far more effective than antidepressants who didn't do much for most patients. Here's a very informative video where he explains more about it:

     
  9. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I never thought I'd agree with FormerlyAutistic, but I agree that something like CBT would be best. It makes sense that an anti-depressant wouldn't help, as your problem seems to be in your thought processes. If I go along with your thought patterns, then I'd have to agree your life is hopeless and you're hopeless. But obviously that is not the case.
     
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  10. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    I wasn’t expecting a lot of replies. Thank you to those who sent messages.

    My thought processes are very negative and demotivating, especially since the quarantine happened.
     
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  11. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    I think you need to chunk down the problems and prioritise only one or two for immediate examination with a view to potential adjustment, and deliberately leave several questions open for longer.

    Is the dosage too big and could you do better on a smaller dose or a different medicine? Whether of the same class, or a different class. What was the exact reason for stopping your previous ones and would it have been better to change doses then?

    How near to breakdown is the car?

    Can the girlfriend question stay on the "back burner" a little longer?

    Is there scope to postponing one or two classes to reduce pressure meantime?

    What is the "family pressure" about?

    I went through years of not having hobbies but afterwards realised my interest in words, though not skilful at the time, was made me tick. Don't be ashamed of your deep down interests and things you gravitate to at heart, even if you have to be careful how you schedule them.

    Is your subject area suited to you and is there scope to change the focus mid-stream?

    At my present great age I have learned to pick from such a list, and decide which were safe enough to come to later.
     
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  12. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    I had to take a day off of work due to my medicine giving me a panic attack. The upside is that I may finally get the TMS treatment.

    My car is a 2009 model so I have a feeling it’s days are almost done.

    I currently can’t even think about getting a date with the quarantine going on even though I have little experience with dating.

    My family pressures me to get a college degree and to be more “normal” in socialization.
     
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  13. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    And what about 3 months? 6 months? 12 months?

    If something is cured, it doesn't just have a short term effect, it has a permanent effect.

    My disagreement is not about the effectiveness of CBT. In fact, I often recommend Feeling Good by Burns, myself. My disagreement is with your inaccurate and unsophisticated characterization of results.
     
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  14. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    I hope the TMS will help my mind feel better and maybe even give me new neural pathways.
     
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  15. Matthias

    Matthias Well-Known Member

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    A follow up study 3 years later found that slightly more people, 72%, no longer met the criteria for depression. Not only that, but the 70% did not seek or receive any further treatment such as drugs or psychotherapy during those 3 years after reading the book.

    CBT has a permanent effect because our thoughts are what causes our emotions. Once a person changes their thought patterns and gets into the habit of thinking more optimally, their depression can remain gone for good. I used CBT over a year ago and my life long depression and anxiety hasn't returned.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2020
  16. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    Is it just me or is everyone struggling with the quarantine in their own way?
     
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  17. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I'm not struggling at all, this has been the best time of my life!
     
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  18. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    It's been good and it's been bad. The good was l discovered l am more centered. The bad - l miss my hobbies like work and gym!
     
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  19. Markness

    Markness Young God

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    I have been back at work lately but the library is only functioning in curbside service capacity and while gyms can reopen, the one I’ve been going to decided not to do so.
     
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  20. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Sorry to hear of this. I belong to 2 gyms, and will wait to see where it goes l guess.

    But l feel better about picking necessities then before where l live. Hoping to get back to volunteer work.