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Feeling Alien

Abe1

Well-Known Member
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had meals with my two older brothers both of which have children and have pretty eventful lives.

While I have a good job, my social skills are weaker and my social circle is far narrower and I don't see a romantic interest ever being on the cards.

After the meeting I feel my outlook on life is so different to theirs and I feel as if I live in a different world to them.

I also support sport teams but my dedication to them is greater than others and I tend to be less critical than others, and I almost feel as if I don't belong to that tribe either.

All of this combines to make me feel more lonely, does anyone else feel like this and is there any way to turn down feelings so they don't matter as much.

By the way my diagnosis is completely unknown by anyone in my family.
 
Sadly in my own case I'm more prone to feel occasional loneliness when things are going well.

When I'm exceedingly busy and/or stressed over things, I have no room for any thoughts of companionship or camaraderie.
 
Sometimes seeing my boyfriend being able to socialize and dart around from one thing to the next makes me feel a bit sad and left out. Being around his adult children and their significant others makes me feel that much more. And they are good people, very nice and accepting of me but they have extremely different lives from mine. It's kinda hard to accept myself watching and listening to them.
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had meals with my two older brothers both of which have children and have pretty eventful lives.

While I have a good job, my social skills are weaker and my social circle is far narrower and I don't see a romantic interest ever being on the cards.

After the meeting I feel my outlook on life is so different to theirs and I feel as if I live in a different world to them.

I also support sport teams but my dedication to them is greater than others and I tend to be less critical than others, and I almost feel as if I don't belong to that tribe either.

All of this combines to make me feel more lonely, does anyone else feel like this and is there any way to turn down feelings so they don't matter as much.

By the way my diagnosis is completely unknown by anyone in my family.
I'm too mentally unstable to tell you I'm lonely or too frightened to do anything else
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had meals with my two older brothers both of which have children and have pretty eventful lives.

While I have a good job, my social skills are weaker and my social circle is far narrower and I don't see a romantic interest ever being on the cards.

After the meeting I feel my outlook on life is so different to theirs and I feel as if I live in a different world to them.

I also support sport teams but my dedication to them is greater than others and I tend to be less critical than others, and I almost feel as if I don't belong to that tribe either.

All of this combines to make me feel more lonely, does anyone else feel like this and is there any way to turn down feelings so they don't matter as much.

By the way my diagnosis is completely unknown by anyone in my family.

I've lived pretty much the same life. My older brother is the only one who actually knows I'm on the spectrum and everyone is wondering why I don't have a girlfriend yet. I don't really care for sports except for one specific team. I've always compared having Aspergers with being a Martian emulating human behavior but never quite getting it right.
 
I have felt like an alien since I started kindergarten, more so now in my adult life. I always knew something was different. Hard to find people that actually understand me. Felt so weird hanging out with other women that I work with recently and a few times in the past, absolutely nothing in common. I never have anything to add to the conversation. I'm all about video games, animals, and deep thinking about life in general.

I worry about being alone later in life quite often. I'm just happy to know that there are others feeling the same way, not entirely alone then.
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had meals with my two older brothers both of which have children and have pretty eventful lives.

While I have a good job, my social skills are weaker and my social circle is far narrower and I don't see a romantic interest ever being on the cards.

After the meeting I feel my outlook on life is so different to theirs and I feel as if I live in a different world to them.

I also support sport teams but my dedication to them is greater than others and I tend to be less critical than others, and I almost feel as if I don't belong to that tribe either.

All of this combines to make me feel more lonely, does anyone else feel like this and is there any way to turn down feelings so they don't matter as much.

By the way my diagnosis is completely unknown by anyone in my family.

I am pretty much in the same boat, except that I was lucky enough to find a lady who will put up with my weirdness. In social settings I stay close to her and follow her lead.

I have found that over the years as I have grow in self-confidence, knowledge, success and family that my autistic traits do not bother me like they did when I was young. I do not fit in with most groups, but to me it does not make any difference. I still like being a Aspie.
 
Sometimes seeing my boyfriend being able to socialize and dart around from one thing to the next makes me feel a bit sad and left out. Being around his adult children and their significant others makes me feel that much more. And they are good people, very nice and accepting of me but they have extremely different lives from mine. It's kinda hard to accept myself watching and listening to them.

I feel the same with my husband. It only really bothers me on Fridays when he plays D&D with a group. He used to push me to play table top games with others but I don't see the enjoyment. It's nerve wrecking.

I'm left alone with the reminder that I don't know how to people. I try my best to busy myself those nights but it's not always successful.

You can always come to the chatroom here when you feel that way, I do once in a while when I need people that understand.
 
I could never relate to the wants and ways of people.
It hurt at first as a child when other kids made fun of me, but, as I grew older I just started making my own world and it just didn't bother me what others thought.
I couldn't relate to their ways so why do something that was not what I felt?

I admit loneliness does get worse though as you get older when there is no one in your life you feel close to or feel loved by. That's the hardest.
 
Thank you for all the replies, my loneliness comes down to a variety of factors.

I'm naturally not good around people.
I am difficult to be around as one day I could be chatty, other days I would rather curl up in a ball, and for everyone else to go away, this uncertainty for other people must be difficult for them to manage.

When in work and hearing what they did at the weekend, ether going out, or spending quality time with their kids, makes me feel like I am missing out, especially at these people are younger than I am.

Which creates an on-going circle of despair.
 
I often feel I teeter the line between a human being and an emotionless ghost. Pretty soon I would myself living in a parallel ghost world where everyone talked around me and looked right through me. The world just seems to function like I'm not in it. Everyday I stray farther and farther from the human race.
 
Abe, I can totally relate. Small talk at cocktail parties for example is brutal, even though I do my very best to be convivial and not avoid conversations altogether. I usually can't wait to be away from a small crowd, and thankfully, my spouse and family understand that I have my limitations. ...From childhood I have always felt like the Lone Ranger, and quite frankly he was a sort of role model/comfort in knowing that it's totally ok to be weird, if you could call it that.

All this to say, I do try and get out, but mostly for errands and things, going to the gym, and work related meetings. When the day is finally over, there's nothing like some solitude to help dissipate the tension which comes from having to interact, which often leaves me feeling drained, especially if there is a lot of conversation involved.

As far as feeling left out, truth be told, kids are a huge challenge to raise without any question. And honestly, they (your brothers) might be wondering how darn lucky you are to have some time to yourself. The grass is not always greener even though sometimes it seems that way. At the end of the day, you have immediate family which is wonderful, and being grateful for even the smallest things can make the difference from feeling bitter versus better. I hope that your cloud lifts, and just wanted to say that it's pretty common to feel this way, so please don't be too discouraged.
 
It's never a pleasant sensation to be surrounded by people and yet at the same time, have a sense of being detached from all of them, and for no particular reason. One I've had almost all my life.

Where yeah....you feel like an alien. A total outsider.
 

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