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Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by savi83, Mar 17, 2018.

  1. savi83

    savi83 Well-Known Member

    Dec 3, 2015
    Hi everybody,

    I've been thinking about family recently and it dawned on me that I come from a large family, but only bother with my parents.

    When I was younger I used you go on holidays with my parents, two younger sisters, my uncle, aunt and their four sons. All the times that we went away I went off from them and did my own thing.

    I didn't have much time for people when I was younger, and its still much the case today. I find that people annoy me, they bring with them drama, issues that aren't issues.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Dec 6, 2016
    i've got to say I feel the same way about all people !which includes autistic people ! there is a television presenter who I find extremely annoying and is autistic !the more you experience the less you are irritated ,I think it comes with being self-centred and that's anybody!!!!!!!!!.
  3. Gritches

    Gritches The Happy Dog V.I.P Member

    Jun 8, 2016
    Apparently it's typical for people with autism to be estranged from siblings as an adult, and that would logically transfer to extended family as well.

    There used to be an annoyingly large family gathering for every single holiday, from which I was always just present and either alienated or picked on. Glad I have the age and the spine now to tell all those people to go die in an ass factory warehouse fire smothered under a pile of burning asses.
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

    Jan 31, 2017
    @Gritches s version of 'I have an idea of what you can do with that turkey'

    Applicable for all times of year.

    Isn't it awful when there's a family gathering which isn't a funeral?

    It means everyone is still present.
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    May 27, 2015
    With the exception of one family member, I'm out of contact with the rest of the biological family. Recently my husband has been ill and in and out of hospital for two months. At the moment he's in hospital. I was there yesterday, and he's stable. Family members who I have had no contact with for several years have been sending flowers to my house. With well-wishes on tiny cards.

    I understand their desire to attempt to support me at this time, in doing something. Yet it feels false and a little awkward when I receive flowers. Beyond the loss of privacy and invasive strangers knocking at my door, who I feel I have to tip. It's not something I wanted/expected from them, and it makes no difference to my state of mind. My house smells like a perfumed boudoir, and my cats are attempting to eat the flowers, some of which are poisonous, so the plants and flowers are shut away in one tiny room. Eventually I'll have to go in there and confine them to a garbage bin.

    Extra work for someone who didn't want this in the first place. I like flowers, but it seems a precious waste to me, to put them in a container of water and watch them die, rather than see them outside growing and feeding insects and animals. Another social convention that I wish didn't exist.
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  6. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Mar 4, 2018
    I have a good relationship with my sister who is also asp. We are different she's more ISTJ on Myers Briggs and I am INTP so she's more detail focus and decisive and I m more strategic and creative. Shes very introverted while I'm a bit less so. However we both have enduring reluctance to participate in social interaction plus are poor at it. We are both clever. She's musical and has perfect pitch. WE both struggle to cope with our mother who is narcissistic in a low power kind of way. And very elderly now yet still independent. Glad I have my sister we have always been allies and with enough similarities to have understanding of each other.
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Nov 23, 2014
    I don't talk to my family very often, except when I'm back in the UK for a visit.
  8. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

    May 22, 2017
    I have a lot of cousins on the opposite side of the country.
    Some I've met, most I haven't. A couple of uncles still alive.
    I was always so uncomfortable when they would fly to Florida to see their sister, (Mom) and brother-in-law, (Dad)
    I usually stayed in my room as much as possible.
    Thankfully they never came at Holidays.
    It would have totally ruined it for me.

    Beyond my parents, I had one cousin I actually enjoyed being with when we were both young. I think I would still like him today, but, beyond e-mail we don't get together.
    He lives on opposite side of USA also.

    From what I've seen and read, most ASDs usually only bond with one or two people from birth up.
    When the one they have the bond with is gone, it feels like half of yourself is gone and you're left totally alone in a world of people.
    It sure has been that way for me.
    I can't see ever feeling different or feeling the feeling of home again. Just trying to get used to it.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  9. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

    Feb 8, 2018
    I have a good family, in particular, my maternal. They have been supportive of me throughout my life and are always happy with my success. It was a maternal aunt that helped me get a job in 2016.
    • Like Like x 1