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Featured Except me, right?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Pats, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Why do people try to make exceptions of themselves? Like you make the comment, "Everyone makes me feel intimidated." They will also say something like, "Except for me, right?"

    My sister, when I told her I was not comfortable in anyone's home, reacted with "Except mine, right?" Not right. She acted insulted when I told her, that included hers. (I didn't point out that hers is one of the most uncomfortable places for me to visit). I included even my kid's homes, which, if anyone, they might would be the exception.

    Told my preacher that I'm intimidated by everyone. He says, he hoped not him. Why wouldn't I be intimidated by him - he towers over me, he's someone in charge and I don't know him that well, of course I'm going to be intimidated by him. When I said everyone, why would it not include you?
     
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  2. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Reading your post @Pats made me realise that, yes, people say things like that all the time!

    But when I'm confronted by it, I usually just think 'oh do shut up'.

    It's so tedious :rolleyes:
     
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  3. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Why would anyone want to believe that they are included in statements like that?

    Nobody wants to be accused of making people uncomfortable, right?

    It would take an extraordinary amount of self-assurance and rational thinking to see
    the statements as non-accusatory.
     
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  4. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    Except the talking wolf right? :p
     
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  5. Shamar

    Shamar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    From my observations, it seems like most of the people in the NT world think of themselves as superior, special, exceptional. Sort of an arrogant style of thinking, so each will think he/she is the exception. In our world, where most of us are uncomfortable with people, being comfortable with another is the exception.

    I would hope that in this house we have created with and for each other, you are comfortable.
     
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  6. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    I don't have self assurance in abundance but I have been on the receiving end of comments such as 'I don't like anyone to come into my home'. When the person (a friend) said 'anyone' I included myself in that and consequently I have never been in that person's home, but she is welcome in my home and we meet elsewhere too.

    I don't see the examples that @Pats gave as accusations. Just facts about how she feels and I could identify with her general viewpoint.

    My personal example when expressing that I do not like being in close proximity to people who smoke, having people comment that I'm okay around them because they use cologne after they've been smoking. Erm no, I'm not okay with that, because that's a double whammy.
     
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  7. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT, INFJ V.I.P Member

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    If someone told me "Everyone makes me feel intimidated." I'd probably say "Do I make you feel intimidated? because I don't mean to!" and then likely ask how I can make them feel comfortable? All in a shocked voice. I can't imagine anyone being intimidated by me- I don't have the brains, talents or whatevers to intimidate anybody.
     
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  8. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    I'd think a great number of those dealing with more extreme manifestations of social anxiety would be apt to be intimidated by most anyone, without exception.

    And that in most cases those around them really won't understand, whether a friend, foe or complete stranger. So it's predictable that they all are apt to think of themselves as being an exception. Even if it ain't so.
     
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  9. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Hit the nail on the head @Judge
     
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  10. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    One to remember :)
     
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  11. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If you're referring to this forum as this house, it's great. I feel free to be myself and comfortable (most the time). BUT if I were to meet any of you, You'd fall into the everyone category. :)
    And @LucyPurrs , it would be said exactly for you to realize that it's nothing you do, that it would be all me.
     
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  12. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    Ha! I WISH I could intimidate someone! That way, people would know not to mess with me. :D
     
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  13. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I'm pretty sure I'd just answer "sorry". :eek:
     
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  14. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You never know. You'd be surprised at what can intimidate people!
     
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  15. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Everyone in person makes me nervous too, but I don't tell them, and try not to show it either. So, I can relate in my own way. What sucks is that I'm a teacher, and it really complicates things.
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    I go around in my merry way with the book title *l'm okay, you are okay. But the minute you aren't okay then you are on my poop list. But l am starting to be more like Pat who has read the book * l am okay, You're not okay.
     
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  17. Ken S.

    Ken S. Dog Cookie King V.I.P Member

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    The situation where you didn't include the complete truth to your sister shows you have more restraint than I do but I am complete opposite in the sense that I can't be intimidated.
     
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  18. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    Same here.
    I'm not comfortable in other people's houses either, but, they don't intimidate me.
    Just not social enough to want to be in other people's houses nor them in mine.
     
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  19. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    He is expressing that he doesn't intend to intimidate you. That is probably true for the others, as well.

    Men tend to be bigger & stronger than women, but healthy men have no intention of scaring you with their size/stature. Those are just incidental.

    I am quite likely bigger/taller than you, but you can't perceive that when our only contact is a text exchange.
     
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  20. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    A good way of describing it.
    Similar to me.
    I always said "don't worry,I'm not going to kill you."
    To put people at ease.
     
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