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Everybody I know has a life except for myself

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by KagamineLen, Sep 26, 2021.

  1. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict. V.I.P Member

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    All of my RL friends are too busy to hang with or even talk to me on weekends. I live in an area that has zero public transportation coverage on weekends, so there are not many places I can go to. I am jealous of my RL friends because they have real lives and they can go out and enjoy their weekends. All I have on weekends is what is in my living room.

    Today, I feel like my life is going to be a complete and utter waste of time.
     
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  2. Skittlebisquit

    Skittlebisquit Keep trying to be as amazing as you really are V.I.P Member

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    . It's going to be ok. I was thinking about a good teaching a good friend gave me years ago. "Son you are either fishing in the wrong stream or else using the wrong bait"
    Your friends seem kinda boring, let's find new ones! Top twenty things I like, is a good list. And it's always a great idea to clarify the mind by cleaning up the temple to the spirit.
    I am trying to get off of cigarettes, it's not fun the first few days. Nicotine seems to regulate emotions somehow. The hard part for me is about day ten or so. It doesnt seem like such a big deal. This time I am going to win. 40 days is my goal for detox. We will see how it all goes.

    There isn't any busses here nights and weekends either. I get this sense that there are people right over an invisible wall that are having fun without me

    So happier=healthier right? Success is to be healthy wealthy happy and wise right? I'm trying to improve my health. Better choices at the store, more education, better diet, more exercise. It's a dirty pain at first, hurts like hell.

    That's just the first hump, after about 3weeks or so the pain either slacks off or else you just get used to it not sure which. It stops hurting honestly.

    I hope you feel better tonight, its a lonely world sometimes,

    you are a valued and respected member of this community.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2021
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  3. watersprite

    watersprite inadvertent vagabond V.I.P Member

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    This.
     
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  4. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Can you get a bike? Maybe there is "no where to go" but there is something very freeing about moving under your own power.
     
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  5. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict. V.I.P Member

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    I have decided that I absolutely have to quit drinking. I drank half a fifth of whiskey earlier today, now it has been a few hours since my last drink and I feel extreme anxiety and some nausea, and I have to get some sleep so I can go to work tomorrow.
     
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  6. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    The classic go-to is to join clubs, right? Or volunteer? I'm guessing you just don't like those options very much?
     
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  7. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict. V.I.P Member

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    Since I do not drive, my options for this are extremely limited. Bus service does not run on weekends where I live.
     
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  8. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    It might help to invest in a small type scooter or bike with an engine. Just perhaps lock it up.
     
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  9. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict. V.I.P Member

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    Or maybe I should seek out some AA telemeetings for the time being. I can’t seem to stop drinking on my own, and the nonstop stream of booze is only making my general anxiety a lot worse.
     
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  10. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Please do.
    My dad has been an alcoholic for decades.
    When I was a kid he would pick up my brother and I for visitations already drunk. He was never mean to us but his drinking impacted the family anyway. Fighting with his wife, disappearing for days at a time during our summer visits.
    I know my dad had a lot of anxiety when he was a young man. The drinking did make it worse. He would be dishonest, fearful, racked with guilt. He made poor choices when drinking.
    I know stopping is not easy. It will take more than self promises and desire. You will need support, accountability, sweat, and something from deep inside to keep you going.
    Oh, by the by, my dad started riding a bike to help him quit drinking. He started at about 50 and went on to be one of Utahs top amature, senior racers. Races or not race but find something to keep you focused on your goal. Find something to make quitting drinking matter.
     
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  11. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Anxiety is difficult to deal with. I do own transportation. But l understand you moved and you are slowly becoming more independent. Perhaps start a kitty jar to save up for something to get you around in like a scooter or used car. The drinking is tough. Can you think of a substitute behavior to swap out and do? Like lift weights in your place? Start walking 20 mins every nite? Slowly cut back in what you need to drink? Reward yourself with something? Maybe start a new hobby? Maybe saving and getting a small compact car would give you that true feeling of freedom and that you broke away from your mom. I have lived once without a car but a car is a necessity. I bought used car, and l am pretty good about conserving gas. Insurance is reasonable if you don't use it for work. But you do need a place to park. And tires and brakes and oil changes are needed at different points.

    I worked in liquor store. It was hard to see homeless alcoholics. Some were very nice. But they were trying to drink away the emotions. I get that. One ended up in detox for 3 weeks. Very sad. Maybe journal feelings?
     
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  12. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Video game and movie addict. V.I.P Member

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    I am currently worried about maybe having to seek out detox. I have been drinking heavily every day for the last week, being a functional alcoholic and still going to work waiting to the shift is done to go home and start drinking. My anxiety is high, it has been several hours since my last drink and I am afraid that if I fall asleep now I might not wake up. I know that fear is irrational, but the anxiety is through the roof currently.
     
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  13. watersprite

    watersprite inadvertent vagabond V.I.P Member

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    You can find a way that works for you to deal with the anxiety so that drinking can stop. That alcoholism can be functional for some is a kind of euphimism. It always has effects. You already know you want to stop & now need to take whatever the next step is to do so. You already know it’s messing with your body & you need to stop in order to honor that so take the next step and get help.
    If it will inspire you: read about a woman who saved herself with running: she chose to live.




    My little brother self-medicated with it, even more than you, and because others enabled him, made a wreck of all his relationships & then died of a heart attack at an early age.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2021
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  14. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    So sorry. It's important you are talking about this. The next step is yours. It's important to us at the forum that you get better. We all want to see you succeed. Can you take a few days off and throw away the liquor?

    We are here for you. I know you will move forward and come to a decision. Life hasn't been kind but we gotta stick it out and face how we feel.
     
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  15. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I feel that way, but even if there was transport, due to extreme social anxiety, could not take that transport.

    I am alone, at home mostly, as hubby works long hours and is not a conversationlist.

    If I dwell too deep on my situation, I can get massive panic attack sensations, but my faith helps me so much, to put things back in balance and funny enough, our spiritual meeting yesterday, we discussed the subject on comparisions and how they can tear down and I know this so well.

    I have siblings and a female birth parent, but my siblings have their own lives and I am not part of that and if I am stupid enough to take a look at my niece's facebook pages, it can make me feel like dying, so I have to try and not be stupid.

    That female birth parent hates me, because I stood against her and so, when ever a sister or brother or niece got close to me, that female would make extreme disparaging remarks and sadly, my nieces were not raised right, so they think nothing of tact and I got to hear that the woman said that unlike my sister, who has family around her, I am completely alone; I am a nobody! I laughed at the time my niece related this, but sadly, too often it has become like an echo, because, even though I am married, I am not a mother and basically am alone, whereas that female who has done terrible things, gets to be surrounded by family. If I think too deeply, it can overwhelm me.

    Do not have many friends anyway. My one friend now resides in her birth country and we chat regularly via whatsapp, but she is older and has many health battles, so the contact is not enough to take lonliness away.
     
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  16. Suzette

    Suzette Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    @KagamineLen,

    You have something going for you my dad never has. Honesty with self and others.
    That is a positive trait that works in your favor.
    I hope you can get some rest.
     
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  17. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    I've said this before, and I'll say it again: This is an enormous part of the problem you're experiencing. Perhaps it even is the ENTIRE problem.

    You wont get what you want as long as you keep that up. I mean, you can ask for advice on here, and people can give you advice, but... all that alcohol basically creates a sort of "incompatibility" with, well, everything. No amount of advice will help you in this state. You need. To dump. The alcohol. Entirely.

    You are at least honest about these problems you're experiencing, and that's good. But until you get up and bloody well DO something about it, these problems will not only continue to happen, but probably continue to get WORSE. Is that what you want? I rather doubt it...

    Until you really take a stand on this instead of brooding and moping, nothing is going to change. That may be an unpleasant and spiky thing to hear, but it's the truth.
     
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  18. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    @KagamineLen

    You have a life.
    You don't like the content of the life you have.
    Change what you are doing.

    You are aware of the negatives you're pursuing.
    You are aware of ways to eliminate the negatives.

    Alcohol use is not doing you any favors.
    aaaaa
    aaaaa
    aaaa
     
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  19. Gerald Wilgus

    Gerald Wilgus Well-Known Member

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    Self medicating with alcohol is the last thing you want to do now. Sometimes I find that whether watching too much anime, or even on here at times, seems like navel gazing and that's when I need to get out and connect with the world. Weren't you thinking about getting a bike? How is that going? As more and more bike trails are being created, some places are upening up transportation options to help riders. Wish you would investigate the recreational opportunities around you. Some groups are also good at promoting car pooling. I've only known a couple for a few weeks who are new bicycling and paddling club members and have already been car pooling to schlep our kayaks to trips and tomorrow, while I have a couple of medical appointments, they will be taking my spouse and her kayak to a trip.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2021
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  20. Martha Ferris

    Martha Ferris Seeking answers

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    You know all the reasons why you should stop drinking. You have been given the tools to help you do this. Ultimately you will have to decide if this is what you want to do. You have to decide how important it is for you to quit drinking. Most people have to reach bottom where they have lost everything or risk losing everything before making that commitment to being sober. I don't know what else we can do to help you here. Get detoxed, get help for why you drink and join a group for support. You can't address your other issues until you deal with your drinking. When will you stop running away into a bottle? What will it take? Only you can answer these questions.
     
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