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Engagement rings & autism?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Warmheart, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm not engaged. But, I am dating! We peeked at rings today, because..
    I have serious sensory sensitivities, and
    I'm a bigtime hand-flapper, and
    I (sometimes) have some self-injurious head-clonking stims.

    I don't even know if I will be able to tolerate a ring. So, we peeked at very, VERY simple settings.

    One is called a "channel" setting. The teeny-weeny diamond chips sit in a groove going 'round the ring. Verrrrrry simple! Nothing to catch on ropes when I get sensory input on my Swing set. Sparkly, but nothing ornate, no visual chaos.

    The second has a simple heart with two swoops of diamond channels.

    Both are simple. Has anyone else selected a ring with the same concerns as I have?

    Thank you.
     
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  2. Adam Kep

    Adam Kep Well-Known Member

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    I cannot wear rings,watches, necklaces, or certain fabrics, so I feel your dilemma. Awesome that you are looking at rings!! I hope you can find something or some alternative if the ring idea does not suit you. Personally, I prefer tattoos. I find the sound and the rhythm quite relaxing .
     
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  3. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry, i can't get the heart ring larger... but here are both rings.
    IMG_0405.JPG IMG_0406.JPG
     
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  4. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member

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    I cannot wear much stuff. I don't wear rings, but when I was young I did. I took it off at night. It did not cause a trouble but I just could not wear it all the time.

    I was engaged once, believe it or not! :) And I did wear it most of the time then, but my sensory issues have gotten worse, so now? No way. But then again, zero chance of ever needing one.............

    But that is very beautiful!!!!
     
  5. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you! The heart ring has been ordered, as it was not available in store. I will try it on in about a month, when it comes in to the store.

    I will need to decide between the two very simple rings.
    Again, I'm nowhere near engaged yet.... but I'll need to find out which one I could possibly tolerate on my hand.
    They are both beautiful! Though, my love for my beloved is more beautiful than any jewelry could ever be.
     
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  6. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    Pretty! I don't usually wear jewellery because I have the nasty habit of losing stuff, but when I do wear rings I usually fiddle with them and twist them around a lot. My boyfriend knows this and will keep into consideration that any ring he buys can be safely fiddled with :D
     
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  7. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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  8. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My wedding rings are VERY SIMPLE to the extent that when we were out having a meal in our early marriage, the waitress appeared and I was HORRIFIED to discover she had the same ring, but as a dress ring and yes, at the time, I felt MORTIFIED. I have no idea why, since I did not feel that before and never been into big rings and the such.

    But today, I am mighty proud of my little rings. They are not fancy at all but to me they are a part of me and would feel upset if I lost them. Well, have had them for nearly 26 year's lol

    Many congratulations and bet he is a smasher ie your future husband to be!
     
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  9. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    I've never really had much of a problem wearing rings, or other jewellery. The only problem I now have with my engagement and wedding rings is that when we got married, I was a lot fatter. So now I have to wear an annoying little plastic thing on the back of them as they're way too big. I could have them made smaller, but it's ridiculously expensive.

    Both rings are lovely and I hope you find that you'll be able to tolerate one of them :D
     
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  10. jbalka

    jbalka Well-Known Member

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    I wanted a flatter engagement ring, but I ended up getting one that sticks up, which does kind of annoy me. I solved my problem though-- now that I'm married I just wear the wedding band most of the time (unless it's a special occasion or something). I figure it fulfills the social contract of letting people know I'm married, but I don't have to wear the fancy jewelry all the time :)

    Shopping for engagement rings was soooo overwhelming though-- I went with my now-husband (instead of him surprising me...) and I would look at him for his opinion, and the saleswoman would be like, "No, don't look at him-- what do you like?" And I was like, "Ahhhh, but I want his opinion because I never shop for jewelry....."
     
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  11. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Yessssss! Some brings DO stick up too much! That's exactly it. Plus, some are too ornate and elaborate! Some are terrifyingly asymmetrical! I had no idea sensory sensitivities would affect me in thif s way, but... a ring like ththat s is intended to stay on all the time, plus, I'm a very flappy critter.

    The lighting in the jewelry store was surprisingly gentle and free from glate. The "spots" shone down to accentuate the sparkles, but no bright overheads. Luckily, the lady selling was zero pressure, very calm, cheerful, non-pushy. I panic when pressured in a retail situation. Options can overwhelm.

    I am happy to consider this special man, and such sparkly jewelry with a dear meaning. I have some sLight fears of having to adjust to the new feeling/sight of something new on my body's "landscape." Know?

    I keep trying to look T the photos and get my mind used to it. He may propose, if he does, many months from now. I simply need to begin now to gradually accept the idea of a new piece of metal on my hand. Big adjustment for such a fuddy-duddy Autie like me!
     
  12. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    Kind of off topic, but from what you said there, do you think you would have a problem with something like a tattoo or piercing? In that a piercing would be jewellery and a tattoo would be something on your body that wasn't there before? Sorry for the random question, it's just not something I've ever considered being an issue for people. (I have no problems in this sense, I have lots of piercings and a few tattoos, just interested me)
     
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  13. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Missionary ☝ Cybernaut

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    The only problem that I see with tattoo rings is that (if you should outlive your mate) it would be awkward for your next one. And you can't take it off, should you find yourself single again (through no fault of your own).
     
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  14. jbalka

    jbalka Well-Known Member

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    Ohhhh the options overwhelmed me to no end! (I hope it's not weird, but I'm so happy to read about someone going through what I went through haha-- it doesn't seem like a common experience, amongst neurotypicals at least). We were in the jewelry store/thinking about the rings in the mall for SEVEN HOURS. It took so long because I never, ever have bought anything more than cheap plastic jewelry. I was deciding between two overly-elaborate ones, but then I just decided to go with something simple-- mine's a single square diamond, quite small and raised. I did have a hard time adjusting wearing something new, and I played with it at work a lot.... I did eventually get used to it (sorta), but like I said, now I don't usually wear it. The wedding band is some much easier to ignore and much more my style haha. Maybe just getting a flat "wedding" band (they're cheaper, too...) as an engagement ring would be a more sensory-friendly option?

    As for it flying off with hand-flapping, if it's well-fitted, that shouldn't happen. Like I said, I played with mine a lot, and even in winter when my knuckles were skinnier and the ring seemed looser, I tested it to see how far I could get the ring up my finger (by flapping). It never got above the lower knuckle. (What can I say, I worked in a closed office by myself and I was bored!)
     
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  15. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I myself could never tolerate a tattoo or piercing. That is a scary big change to my body.
    Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine ring shopping for hours!
    We were maybe 30 minutes in the store. Options intimidate me. D'oh!
     
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