Energetic friend vs tired me.

[Balamvucub]

It's 'holiday season,and for the past few weeks, I have had a well-meaning friend continiously try to talk me into going out to verious parties/functions during the weekends,and after sun down. I had tryed to explain to her that I expend quite a lot of physical/mental energy by biking fifty-six miles to,and from College four out of seven days per week,then do my essays/math homework,cook dinner for an elderly gentleman that I watch over,then two out of three days during my 'week ends' I catch up on house work,and take the gentleman on a walk. I have one day in which I can do what I wish to do, and absolutely need this time to degauss/defrag my mind so that I am ready for the next week. If I do not have this time,my scores go down at college,and I end up becoming to fatigued to concentrate on my studies,and end up making mistakes. I had told her that I deal with the noise and racket at the college enough during the week,and the last thing that I need during the week ends, is more noise and racket.My friend has an enormous amount of energy,and has the opinion that she must 'excercise' because she needs to 'loose weight'. She thinks that she is 'fat' when in truth she is not. She also wants me to go bike riding,and various other forms of excercises with her,and I continously tell her thet the last thing that I need to do is expend more energy/calories doing any more excercise than I do already, as I only weigh 110 Lbs. and cannot survive on breads,pastas,and other non-nutritious gluten containing foods,so my calorie choices are limited. She appears to not understand why I am so fatigued at the end of the 'school' week,and now I am wearing my self out trying to explain the reasons why I do not wish to go any where, or do any thing during the week ends,and I believe by her actions that she thinks I am gilding the lily golden here.I have also been absent from these forums until now because of this. Because of the extra stress,I have been taking 'cat naps' in order to try to deal with the fatigue,and so, have not logged on.:sleep:

 

[IContainMultitudes]

I think life would be easier for a lot of us if more people understood that some people find extended periods of social interaction to be draining. If I'm obligated to spend more than an hour or so at a party or other social function, I usually feel kind of wiped out for the rest of the day.

I never pass up an opportunity to post a link to this article (someone I follow on Twitter says that he re-reads it every so often in order to better understand his introverted wife):

Caring for Your Introvert

The habits and needs of a little-understood group

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

Even though this article isn't about aspies, I think that a lot of it applies to people who are (I'd say that while not all introverts are aspies, nearly all aspies are probably introverted to at least some degree).

 

[Balamvucub]

I have read the link,and yes, I will say some of that would apply to me. I liki the statement 'Accosted with pleasantries', as this is exactly how I feel when having to stand caught up in a group of chatty people,unable to move either for or aft to escape,and having to answer a bunch of pointless questions and comments concerning how I feel, and how I am dressed. After dealing with all the senseless drivel,I am quite ready for some down time,and do become a bit irritable if I am not given sufficient time to 'recharge'. I will give the link you have posted to my well-meaning friend in hopes that this will give her some insight on how I feel. Thank you so very much,I appreciate this.

 

[jaws]

First off, I am not giving advise...just sharing what I do.

I have many people who don't get my need for "re-charging". I tend to compromise by giving in a going out with them every 7th-8th time they ask...I basically figure that if I want them to tolerate my eccentricities then I must tolerate their social needs. I would say this tends to be quite stressful at times, but sometimes I do enjoy it (though I originally dread it). I won't claim that this will keep friends as I don't currently have any long term friends, but it is what I tend to do.

 

[Balamvucub]

The problem here is when I 'promise to go out with friends say, once every two weeks or so,they keep trying to convince me to spend long blocks of time [four houres] out in places that I find asulting to my senses after spending the entire week out at College,and they seem not to understand that in addition to needing to 'recharge' I must do my maths studies,as if I do not,my 'grades' in mathmatics fall very fast. Their priorities are in first you party,then you study. Mine are the inverse,and I fail at understanding the logic behind their choices.