• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

"Emptiness" without Special Interest?

V

voidOctopus

New Member
Does anyone else both not have a special interest/obsession or anything, but feel like you should have one but not in a "you need one to be autistic" way? Moreso I mean feeling like you need something to completely focus on and maybe obsess about but not having anything like that, and therefore having a sense of emptiness or incompleteness. If so, are there any tips on how to deal with it?
 
All my "obsessions" are always short-lived and never last long as I too find it hard to focus so much energy on a handful of things. Too many things interest or fascinate me. I get so many ideas, that I get excited about and try to pursue only to have life happen and it gets nowhere fruitful. I think to myself that in a way it can be a good thing as it makes me more well-rounded and diverse-minded. But tips would be helpful too.
 
I agree a lot with @LadyS , I wanted to do everything and tried too. From medical to construction to hairdresser, just to name 3 out of about 20 things I wanted to be or tried. Still wanted to be a pilot too but vision is bad now and memory too. I am a cook lately, trying all kinds of recipes. Never cooked growing up but now I like it.

I wouldn’t stress about it.

Welcome to the forum, just read a lot and you’ll pick up what you want to know. I’m fairly new here too.
 
This is such a beautiful time of life, everything is still so fresh. So, once upon a time, quite a ways
away from here....

There used to be 7 subjects in the arts of a free man, the first three were called Trivium and they were
Grammar Rhetoric and Logic

Those were neeeded to understand and be heard and to read well enough to learn from these little bitty books.

The next were called quadrivium or quadria and they were
Mathematic, geometries, cosmology and music.
Please forgive my strange spellings.

So the theory went that if you learned the basics of all of those then you would find something to interest you.

History is absolutely fascinating. It is incredibly vast, frighteningly so. Historians often choose a specific period or sometimes a certain technology.

The evolution of language is a related field. We can learn much from watching words migrate thru time and across oceans

Communication generally is very technical these days.

Graphic arts is delightful and runs the gamut from caligraphy to branding design and more.

I am deeply drawn to all things fabric, and weaving and cordage and the like.

Remember in the modern world there is very little you cannot do because of gender, unless you live in west "by god" virginia(ask @Sapphire K )

Craft work of all types awaits discovery and music is a solace and a delight, even just learning to sing well is worth the time and effort.

I very much enjoy writing fiction, and poetry, and cooking of course.

There really is alot to learn about, but most nt people are dream killers its sad but tru. Your interest do not need to be of value to others. Hopefully you will become inspired to keep learning, and let learning itself become a lifelong pursuit.

I am forever grateful that I rode a bike for 70miles a week as a teenager, that's what it takes to be able to snow ski well. Ski resorts are full of rich people who are bored easily, like to party and are generally pretty decent looking. I used to work at one in my twenties

Keeping a journal yet? Something like that is very useful, and a notebook with a pen on a string by the bed, is good to have.

Maybe you could try listing what has gotten you interested this far and see if there are any connections between those things then in your journal write down a few things that sort of "tickle" during the day

Best wishes
 
Last edited:
My special interests come and go. Some are long lasting, others over in a week or so. A while ago I had depression and didn't have much interest in anything, felt numb.
 
My special interests have been more like fads that came and went. Although I go back and dabble in them briefly here and there now and then.
 
Think of it as a Buffet of Life, gotta sample a little of everything to get the full flavor.
 
voidOctopus said:
Does anyone else both not have a special interest/obsession or anything, but feel like you should have one but not in a "you need one to be autistic" way? Moreso I mean feeling like you need something to completely focus on and maybe obsess about but not having anything like that, and therefore having a sense of emptiness or incompleteness. If so, are there any tips on how to deal with it?
Click to expand...

Are you saying that you don't feel interested in anything?
That nothing really seems like it would be fun or worth doing?
And you wonder whether there's some way out of that *gray*
state of disinterest?
 
My first thought reading your post was that you might be a tad depressed. Depression saps our interests. I have had my share of it. I'm wondering if your disinterest in things is larger than just finding special interests to do. When I am happy, I make up things to do, just to have something to do in my spare time. Never a dull moment. When I am a bit depressed, I don't want to do anything. Apathy can come from depression, but it can also come from boredom. Not just depression, apathy is like I don't want to do anything, good or bad. Depression is I have no interests in anything, and joy is like "What can I find to do, if I can't find it, what can I make up to do?" Not saying you need a psychologist or anything, but have you always been this way or is it like a dry spell you have found yourself in? If it is a dry spell, it will probably pass. Being under stress can induce apathy as well. Having too many problems at once that we can't solve induces depression.

If it is none of these, experimenting with things helps. I suggest going to a hobby store and looking for a craft that will keep you busy. Even if you haven't tried it before, if it interests you, go for it. I once stumbled into a leather shop because I like the way leather smells. I ended up buying a kit, which was the start of 5 years of making leather wallets, purses, belts, key tags etc. It kind of exploded into a super interest of mine. So I would say that may be a way to break out of this. We have a lot of large hobby stores here with all kinds of hobbies. www.hobbylobby.com has a lot of stuff. We have their stores here, an abundance of fun things to do!

Best of luck to ya!
 
Most of my special interests (as I noticed lately) lasts for 3-4 weeks. They come and go. Some are recurring, some are one time. I got used to it. But I think that my job is my special interest. I love it a lot, and it's over 2 years already.
 
Well, that's not bad. If you love your job, maybe your interest in things is being utilized?? You seem to me to be doing good. I too am only interested in things for so long before I don't do them, then pick them back up. Some things I get tired of or bored with once I figure them out : ) I love a good challenge, but I don't like to be over challenged. If something is impossible, that is a sure thing I will lose interest in. Is there a common thread in the interests you do like? Maybe there are other things that use the same skills that are different which you may like to do too.

Loving your job... I had a job I loved, it was 3D Computer Aided Drafting. I had some very bad things happen to me and my family that caused a 10 year depression in which I lost a lot of things, like that job. I haven't been the same since then, but found out there were a lot of pressures and problems I had that contributed to that depression. I am now disabled due to a lot of things/problems I have, but I have a CAD Drafting software program on my home computer that I love to use. I can draw whatever I want that way. Is your job something you could do at home or something a lot like it? If so, there's a new hobby too! : )

Best wishes
 
voidOctopus said:
Does anyone else both not have a special interest/obsession or anything, but feel like you should have one but not in a "you need one to be autistic" way? Moreso I mean feeling like you need something to completely focus on and maybe obsess about but not having anything like that, and therefore having a sense of emptiness or incompleteness. If so, are there any tips on how to deal with it?
Click to expand...
I try to align it to does it make me hyperventilate if I'm doing it , then I've GOT to stop
 
@Mis-fit loves to be challenged but not overly, is so true for me.
My recurring obsessions (mostly) are connected to websites. I work with websites professionally. I do analysis, spot issues and patterns. And the work is very repetitive. And I can do it from home.
A lot of my interests and hobbies (reading, learning languages etc.) unfortunately plummeted with the longtime depression and stress from which I try to recover. I can't even finish a book now. :(

Happy to hear you're somehow still doing the CAD. Good luck with that.
 
Yes, I can why you'd go through life in a sort of bored listlessness without a special interest to fixate on.
 
Darius said:
@Mis-fit loves to be challenged but not overly, is so true for me.
My recurring obsessions (mostly) are connected to websites. I work with websites professionally. I do analysis, spot issues and patterns. And the work is very repetitive. And I can do it from home.
A lot of my interests and hobbies (reading, learning languages etc.) unfortunately plummeted with the longtime depression and stress from which I try to recover. I can't even finish a book now. :(

Happy to hear you're somehow still doing the CAD. Good luck with that.
Click to expand...

Website building is cool. I designed my own, with GoDaddy, and it looked okay, but I'm sure you use much more sophitecated software than what I did. Still, that's a cool interest, one I'm sure you can make money at these days!!

Yeah depression will sap the interests right out of us. I discovered depression is more related to a lack of hope, saddness is just feeling down, but depression, that causes a listlessness, and an apathy with things that cause major problems. I hope you are getting some help with it. I got help for it, but really time and talking with friends about my troubles helped too. I guess I worked my way out of it, but it sure wasn't easy and it did leave a mark.

I would suggest that you try to read like 4-5 pages at a time, then put the book down. When ever you feel like it read 4-5 more. It may take forever to get through the book that way, but that's not the point. I think it helps to keep you on track with reading and buffing up your skills. Like if you were a weight lifter and broke a leg. I would suggest that they go to the gym to work out the rest of their body, and the other leg to stay in some sort of shape. They can't get on the tread mill, but they can lift with their arms, work their abs, etc. Know what I mean? Plus it will lift your spirit knowing you can still read, learn, grow, maintain some of your talents.

I have recovered from the depression. I mean it took a huge chunk out of my life, and I am forever changed by it. But I am back to functioning as well or better than I was before it. Hang in there, it will get better.

Best of luck to you, Best Wishes too!
And my Highest regards!
Bob
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom