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Ego and Autism

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by FIVER, Apr 15, 2021.

  1. FIVER

    FIVER Well-Known Member

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    In relationship with social skills.
    This is a big issue.
     
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  2. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    As a child, the only source of ego I had was scoring well on tests. Not one thing I did other than that got me the slightest praise and usually derision. Sometimes anger. Teacher told me I was useless. Mom said I was too stupid to understand. Peers were constantly teasing and bullying. Difficult to build up an ego without positive feedback.

    Wasn't until I was in high school and met a couple of really good teachers and made a couple of friends that I had any sense I was worth anything at all. Still never developed much ego until my 20s because I was always failing at getting hired or staying employed. Then I got really lucky, got a good job, and started feeling good about myself.
     
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  3. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    How do you mean?
     
  4. George Newman

    George Newman Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    ego - Dictionary Definition

    Just to make sure we are clear what exactly ego is. This is a fascinating topic. Thank you for starting the thread.
     
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  5. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    Working out with good music helps mine.
     
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  6. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    What we call people with "big-egos" actually have underdeveloped egos, and they falsely inflate them - the narcissists etc.

    From as far as I can remember, while we all got called names, it was if it was a big deal when I got called them.

    I never liked the fact that it took so long for me to learn to walk without falling down and being poor at sport. I wouldn't accept that I was poor at sport. My ego was bruised as it took me till 9yrs old to ride a bike.

    I disregarded my artistic talent and my high intelligence, like, rejected myself, and complained about what was bad about me, no wonder bullies made fun of me, it was like I put a target on my back. Sport was cool and art/reading uncool in my eyes back then.

    I treated myself badly so my family just followed suit.

    Nowadays I like it when people pay me compliments as my ego could use some building up :)
     
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  7. PastelPetals

    PastelPetals Well-Known Member

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    I don't think I have a large ego I am just self absorbed...and my that I mean I am in my head often sorta in my own space so I am distracted often when talking to people or I don't want to talk at all. So I guess if you thought of that as ego it does get in the way of social skills but I don't think it's ego that would require high self esteem and that I do not have.
     
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  8. hatfullofrain

    hatfullofrain Well-Known Member

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    I think we come over as having large egos because we tend to research things and come to a definite conclusion and we are sure about that conclusion. We feel that we have the facts and we will very easily jump to tell all those facts.

    When we present those facts we are often conversing with people who haven't done as much research and whether we are wrong or right we can bulldoze over them with all the information we have gleaned on the subject.

    That is intimidating and alienating to other people. They feel like we don't care about their perspective and that we think they are small and stupid.
     
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  9. hatfullofrain

    hatfullofrain Well-Known Member

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    No. I know a teenage, homeschooled aspie who is like this.

    All of us can be guilty.
     
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  10. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Yeah, there is a psychological definition of ego as part of the id, ego and superego theory of personality. I'm using it in the sense that ego means a sense of personal importance and pride in who you are. To this day I have no "pride" in much of anything I do or am. It always feels like what I did is unimportant and unremarkable. Seeing too much pride in another person makes me uncomfortable. People who think they are super important usually think people like me are meant to be used and steamrolled.
     
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  11. MyLifeAsAnAspie

    MyLifeAsAnAspie Well-Known Member

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    They say we are egocentric and I can't deny we can seem that way. I certainly have been masking to try to avoid that impression. Like asking "how's the family" who I hardly know. I also try to demonstrate my humanity in concrete ways, donating blood, for example. I don't hope for more than "he IS human, not the robot he seems like" :(.

    Hard to know if we are actually more egocentric than the general population. We are more unfiltered so you often get what you see. Others are born the same as us but learn they must mask their egocentric nature to get what they want.
     
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  12. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    My ego is horrible, and I always feel as if I have said the wrong thing, or if I haven’t yet, I will.
     
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  13. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    QUOTE="Au Naturel, post: 759404, member: 23641"]It always feels like what I did is unimportant and unremarkable. Seeing too much pride in another person makes me uncomfortable. People who think they are super important usually think people like me are meant to be used and steamrolled.[/QUOTE]

    ^^^ This.

    Along with doing some remarkable discoveries and a professor gets the credit.

    I’ve made peace with it, God knows and that’s all that is important to me. People got helped.
     
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  14. ForestGumpett

    ForestGumpett Active Member

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    Several questions, no it wasn’t traumatic - my family, well yeah trauma/drama there but naw not with that. I’m a pretty simple person, least I think so. It’s more of a “whatever”, again, all I really care about in the terms of life itself is doing what makes Jesus happy. With me personally, I’m a Christian first, then wife to an incredible man that is possible on the line with aspie, wouldn’t say 100% but lots of the same way in thinking. Btw, I screw up all the time, but this has given me a good sense of humor. It’s really nice to know why I’m different, and that now I do not think that I’m screwed up it’s just everybody else lol

    Issues with being an aspie with me is more that I wear my heart on my sleeve and take things usually way too personal. Maybe I can learn here to be better at that, or how to handle it better without melting down - as in shutting down. No drama, just quiet sadness.