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Effect of abuse on autistic kids

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
This is actually a small book I want to write but lately havoc has just got to me. Firstly I don't think shrinks who not themselves on spectrum could ever really understand and if combine this with aba it would just be ignorant crime. So I decided to chat online with others to see what you think, if anyone else is open to share their pain. Etc.

Everytime I want to write my old wounds are opened up and my amnesia starts to flood with memories and my feelings seem to get lost. But to start, we should never hit children, I was hit as a child on spectrum and it shut down my defense's, it made me more shy and took away my already limited ability to express myself , if not verbal even through actions. I want people to realise how damaging this is and to try decide if time to help children. One of ways my parents hit me was over knuckles with wooden spoon.....now girls do not stimm as boys do, but sometimes I think we use our hands to try process feelings.

My depression is really bad at moment, I was hoping to connect with others who had trauma and maybe even publish a book together.
I struggle to talk about my feelings, I'm fine on facts and figures. Does childhood abuse make it just so much harder for me as in invalidation or is this just a typical red flag.

Then is my memory loss this bad due to suppressed trauma or can social stress also do this as in alexithymia and catatonia is it worsened then?

Lastly does trauma prevent us from feeling free and being happy as in neurotypical people in survival mode or is it really worse to abuse disabled people.

This is just start of my opening up for first time in my life. Many speak of bullies and ABA as ruining quality of life.

I heard and researched actually many many autistics who were abused and I'm waiting for responses.

This was a brief description, I searched and never found details, I'm now in my 40s and only now I've learnt to discuss this on a forum, probably never to a therapist.
One day I felt so numb, but something was stirring under surface, laying on my bed I began to trace patterns with my finger onto the wall. I craved love and never seem to find this amongst shallow people, I struggle to find N believe in love.
For years I had forgotten so many years but it took one memory to trigger another and another, it was overwhelming.

Let me know
Kayla
 
I heard and researched actually many many autistics who were abused and I'm waiting for responses.

If you're not familiar with it, @Kayla55, you may want to look into the Judge Rotenberg Center in Massachusetts. As part of their ABA therapy, it is legal for them to use shock devices on Autistics and other disabled people. They still do this, even though the UN has called it torture--and it has lead to deaths. The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) is still trying to get them shut down, with their Stop the Shock campaign.
 
If you're not familiar with it, @Kayla55, you may want to look into the Judge Rotenberg Center in Massachusetts. As part of their ABA therapy, it is legal for them to use shock devices on Autistics and other disabled people. They still do this, even though the UN has called it torture--and it has lead to deaths. The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) is still trying to get them shut down, with their Stop the Shock campaign.
I was almost sent to that place... I ended up somewhere equally bad :(
Kids died in the facility I was in too. I almost did.
 
Thank you for your reply. Slowly but surely aba is being replaced with floor time therapy. Wow
Asperger's was only doctor who confirmed the mother observations of behaviour and was then Austria and Hungry were invaded by nazzi, yet we struggle to do away with this. I doubt nazzi made leadway, I hiss at those who gave children steroids for not prescribed medical reason, but God is faithful and we know know it's bacteria in gut. Nazzi could never tell you disprin causes heartburn so use paracetamol. That heartburn was less likely pregnant women and autistic old fashioned tennis and Eno. Or symptoms of reflux. That maybe relation between epilepsy and autism was blood pressure or sugar levels or a weak heart. Such evil will never prosper.
Montessori was a school for disabled kids, nowadays it's fashion with prejudice, my son was asked to take IQ test. But point is it's like using music from Bob Marley to reach social awareness and change people, then pink Floyd becomes liberal and hippie era changes social norms.
Twisted and sardonic is what some people can be, hence the question of if neuro-typical people can be psychologists to us, to fix us, I'm sure that's what most think. As long as you exhibit more social traits it's working, fixing you. No they are not, we don't relate to same play, we should encourage kids to stimulate their sensory, spin tyre truck, make domino puzzles and let puzzle run down.
Greed will always exist, but truly creative is just curious and these sorts always latch onto jobs as financial managers.

I'm hoping for replies about survival mode be it aba, bullying or abuse. If we can unlock survival mode and have therapy to help young people enjoy life without negative effects. I never realised the importance of allowing myself to feel the pain, and become free. Interestingly I think anyone who was ever really embarassed by social akwardnes may have repressed memories, anxiety. I used to dread going to certain jobs for hours before, I never learnt to like waitressing. It's like we play and work differently.
 
Thank God you didn't, and you improve lives for other creatures now.
Thank you. That means a lot to me. I try really hard to improve lives but sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough.
For people, I mean. I know I'm good with animals.
 
I'm hoping for replies about survival mode be it aba, bullying or abuse
I was bullied by teachers, and by today's standards and definitions, I should probably start calling it abuse. Thanks to the people on this forum, I'll be posting more and more about it in future, to stand in solidarity with others. I mostly talk about the enablers and what I've learned to try to help others.

I try really hard to improve lives but sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough.
For people, I mean. I know I'm good with animals.
You do a lot of good for us with what you post here. Thank you for all that.
 
I was bullied by teachers, and by today's standards and definitions, I should probably start calling it abuse. Thanks to the people on this forum, I'll be posting more and more about it in future, to stand in solidarity with others. I mostly talk about the enablers and what I've learned to try to help others.


You do a lot of good for us with what you post here. Thank you for all that.

I'm sorry you were bullied by teachers :( Unfortunately I know what that feels like...

And thank you. I sure hope I'm doing good for you all. I try my best.
I love your rainbow signature by the way!
 
Yes, kids from orphanages show similar signs but it's maternal deprivation or RAD reactive attachment disorder. I've being examining certain psychology concepts to determine what therapy is similar for neurotypicals and autistic. My findings are that autistic people do develop attachment disorders, mine was avoidant....either cause I'm autistic shy made my ability to see to my own needs emotional and physical difficult.
Effect of abuse on disabled people is accepted as stunting developmental milestones. One may also develop other disorders bipolar or schitso so the overlap can be confusing.
 
If you're not familiar with it, @Kayla55, you may want to look into the Judge Rotenberg Center in Massachusetts. As part of their ABA therapy, it is legal for them to use shock devices on Autistics and other disabled people. They still do this, even though the UN has called it torture--and it has lead to deaths. The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) is still trying to get them shut down, with their Stop the Shock campaign.
I used to live right near there and actually began the application process for a job there. When I learned the full extent of what they did, I was horrified and ran the other way, but always felt badly for leaving those kids there. Not that I was actually leaving them there, but I hate the thought of all those kids in that center. And they disguise what they do with vague terms and references to supposedly ethical evidence based practice.

It’s outrageous and blatant abuse. I agree in thinking creatively and out of the box for children who suffer, but this is absolutely not the way. Those poor children.
 
Maybe we best left to figure ourselves out ND use aspire online resources, child therapy could mess up too many people worse if in wrong hands.
Perhaps we should have thread focus on medical errata contributed by aspires to try help parents who's children died from autism combined epilepsy

Maybe just advice to neuro-typical parents on dealing with aspire kids. I believe there is an attachment order relating to physical/emotional needs of all living creatures, kids reliant on parents to provide.
If your child doesn't want hugs or to be touched it may just be a phase or sensory issue, it's not insult to take personally. Just remind child gently from time to time regarding manners and say I care for you and I'm here and give em space. I do believe the love is being received on sub conscious level.
 
I used to live right near there and actually began the application process for a job there. When I learned the full extent of what they did, I was horrified and ran the other way, but always felt badly for leaving those kids there. Not that I was actually leaving them there, but I hate the thought of all those kids in that center. And they disguise what they do with vague terms and references to supposedly ethical evidence based practice.

It’s outrageous and blatant abuse. I agree in thinking creatively and out of the box for children who suffer, but this is absolutely not the way. Those poor children.

I bet many of us feel an obligation to rescue them, contrary to those who find us emotionless or lacking theory of mind.
 
And they disguise what they do with vague terms and references to supposedly ethical evidence based practice.
The exact same techniques used by con artists and fraudsters.

It’s outrageous and blatant abuse. I agree in thinking creatively and out of the box for children who suffer, but this is absolutely not the way. Those poor children.
Sometimes I think the Victorian era treatment of people with poorly understood conditions never really went away, despite all the cries of "look how progressive and modern we all are nowadays!!!"
 
I stumbled on to this website the other day...


I found it rather interesting and also distressing. The woman who writes on there articulates things rather well I feel. I guess she justifies the name of the site at the very least.

I have read through quite a few of her posts on there. To be honest, I've not been real well mentally this last week or so, certainly worse than usual. It really brought back some unpleasant memories for me concerning the way I was treated as a kid.

I'm not diagnosed with ASD but I'm very confident that if someone qualified and fair minded looked at my symptoms and traits they would conclude I have some level of ASD. The accounts of ABA "therapy" I found very distressing to read. Though I have never experienced it in any clinical way, the beats all seem to be very similar to the abusive methods teachers and other adults used to control "difficult kids".

I went into a bit of a tailspin after reading about it. One story about a teenage girl who suffered through this "therapeutic" abuse felt so traumatised that she felt afraid of saying "no" to people. I can certainly relate to that.

I kinda feel lost and hopeless right now as I realise that problems with doctors and mental health professionals have probably been made all the worse due to the way they view me and the ideas they have projected on to me. They don't understand me at all. It makes me feel like an alien who visited this planet and attempted a friendly gesture only to have everyone interpret it as an act of aggression.

It's a bit of a mixed blessing I suppose, reading the posts and articles on her website, it's almost spooky how well she describes her experiences and how much it seems she's describing my own.

I just feel this mixture of relief that I may have figured out something important about myself, and distress that I will always be struggling against the negative attitudes of some people and their sledge hammer approach to "helping" people with ASD or people that are just "different".

To sum it up, it just looks like a bunch of apes shouting and bullying fishes into trying to climb trees.
 
^ I love Jaime A. Heidel's blog. I found it on a list of blogs by Autistic people sent to me by a coworker.

Edit:

I kinda feel lost and hopeless right now as I realise that problems with doctors and mental health professionals have probably been made all the worse due to the way they view me and the ideas they have projected on to me. They don't understand me at all. It makes me feel like an alien who visited this planet and attempted a friendly gesture only to have everyone interpret it as an act of aggression.

Yes, I certainly relate to this. For example, a couple months ago I sought job support after temporarily leaving my job, due to a lot of issues with sensory overload. (I thought this would be permanent, but recently went back, with better conditions.) The job support guy has been helpful in some ways, but infantilizing in others. If he didn't know I had an Autism diagnosis, I think his view of me would be very different. But, let some people know about that diagnosis and you suddenly have to deal with all sorts of misconceptions. They assume you lack social skills and knowledge of people or emotions, and can do damage just through this condescending attitude. But, I've lived alone for ages, had relationships, drive, and worked steadily many years. I'm considered a very model employee. All despite people like that.
 
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^ I love Jaime A. Heidel's blog. I found it on a list of blogs by Autistic people sent to me by a coworker.

Edit:



Yes, I certainly relate to this. For example, a couple months ago I sought job support after temporarily leaving my job, due to a lot of issues with sensory overload. (I thought this would be permanent, but recently went back, with better conditions.) The job support guy has been helpful in some ways, but infantilizing in others. If he didn't know I had an Autism diagnosis, I think his view of me would be very different. But, let some people know about that diagnosis and you suddenly have to deal with all sorts of misconceptions. They assume you lack social skills and knowledge of people or emotions, and can do damage just through this condescending attitude. But, I've lived alone for ages, had relationships, drive, and worked steadily many years. I'm considered a very model employee. All despite people like that.
I can relate to this too in a slightly different context. A while back I had a huge relapse with my mental health, so bad I'm still not recovered. So of course I end up dealing with the community mental health team. Their "solutions" and "treatments" were all very geared towards the NT standard. I was pushed into social situations, and while I'm sure this was ultimately well intended, it wasn't appropriate for me. I had told them I'm not really into socialising and I preferred time to myself. I was just struggling to enjoy my hobbies and special interests and this only hastened things going down hill.

So of course they "determined" that I was depressed because I wasn't socialising. When I tried to explain that they were barking up the wrong tree, they started using "that voice", you know, the condescending, infantilizing patter that they usually reserve for octogenarians and 6 year old kids. It made me feel like I was being ridiculous and stupid, a bit like that young girl I mentioned who couldn't say "no".

I hate this kind of attitude, mental illness does not mean you are stupid. I started to wonder if their concept of depression amounts to "Look, this person is too stupid to be happy".

This was all before I learned more about ASD and saw the similarity with my own situation. It's like these professionals could not understand why I found the inability to engage with my interests and hobbies so distressing. And they would condescendingly tell me I just needed to basically socialise and I would magically feel better.

Attending these "social activities" became very stressful, I liked a lot of the people there, but I just didn't have the energy and anticipating going there made me feel more anxious and distressed. Then I felt guilty for not wanting to socialize which made me feel worse again.

I think unfortunately there are people in this world who think if they are in certain positions of authority, they are automatically smarter and more intelligent than their patients or clients.
 
That is very sad and very relatable, @MildredHubble. Unfortunately, many need to believe they are smarter or more intelligent, or else their role in the situation becomes meaningless. How can the therapist know less than the patient and be valuable? But, that can do damage.
 
That is very sad and very relatable, @MildredHubble. Unfortunately, many need to believe they are smarter or more intelligent, or else their role in the situation becomes meaningless. How can the therapist know less than the patient and be valuable? But, that can do damage.
This is the problem, just because I may not be as smart as someone else doesn't mean I can't help them. It all comes down to listening. A highly underrated habit that seems to have been sorely overlooked by some people in these situations.

I strongly believe that most issues that go unsolved largely stay that way because the people dealing with the problem aren't listened to, or their problems are "straw manned" into an easier to solve problem that simply doesn't exist.
 
It all comes down to listening. A highly underrated habit that seems to have been sorely overlooked by some people in these situations.

I strongly believe that most issues that go unsolved largely stay that way because the people dealing with the problem aren't listened to, or their problems are "straw manned" into an easier to solve problem that simply doesn't exist.
You are so right. Something that's almost become one of my catchphrases recently: People don't necessarily need to understand, but please just listen.
 
I just feel this mixture of relief that I may have figured out something important about myself, and distress that I will always be struggling against the negative attitudes of some people and their sledge hammer approach to "helping" people with ASD or people that are just "different".

To sum it up, it just looks like a bunch of apes shouting and bullying fishes into trying to climb trees.
In understanding and surrender, there is hope and strength, I think.
 

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