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Featured Dying alone.

Discussion in 'Religion' started by Tony Ramirez, Dec 3, 2020.

  1. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    This is my biggest fear. My uncle just recently passed away and he had a lot of people at his funeral with many Grandchildren.

    Me on the other hand suffering from ASD still unemployed, living at home, never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl at 43 years old. Yes I do have some friends from Church but they are living there own lives many are couples having kids or have them already.

    They will drift apart now even more with the pandemic I am seeing them very little in person. If we ever start to meet in person they will be engaged already it happened to a couple from life group.

    Too make a point I predict I will die in my 50s alone because my grandmother would have passed away a long time ago Then my other uncle and my mother and father eventually too.

    My plan is to hope for normal life after the pandemic and too keep losing friends, then making new ones at Church just to lose them repeatedly as the couple up and have kids I will eventually die and be alone if I have any remaining friends left
     
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  2. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Do you want to be fully responsible for what you help produce progeny!?.
    I'm saying this to help you clarify your desire ,I couldn't be responsible for a human!. I'm not strong enough for two cats and me,I nursed someone with help, it damaged my nerves and muscles in my whole body, what I thought I wanted wasn't what I got, i don't like pain so childbirth was never for me ,a relationship without! children! isn't I imagine very easy for people with autistic neurology do you have a vision for a family with G-d at the centre? I mean a literal vision of your future?
     
  3. Greatshield17

    Greatshield17 Catholic Nerd V.I.P Member

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    The first step back to the Faith for me, was actually thinking about being a father and having children, and realizing that I did not want them to suffer what I suffered growing up. I think you should first pray to God for the grace to be a Saint, and be the husband and father God calls you to be; the more you are a son of God the more you will be a good father for your children and a worthy husband for the woman God has for you. The thing that really convinced me that marriage was my calling, was hearing that in Catholicism, the goal of marriage is to save the soul of your spouse; that really inspired me and pushed me to pursue this vocation.

    Think and meditate on all this and keep praying. You can and should pray to meet the woman that God wants you to marry, and you should trust that God will hear the prayer as well, the closer you are to God, the closer you are to others. And also perhaps you should pray for other Aspies who are trying to find their spouses, (And this is something I should probably try to do) for as a Catholic prayer put it, "it is in giving that we receive..." I for one should try this, though not in a shallow, "do it for a reward" kind of fashion, obviously. (Sorry I'm of preaching to myself here.)
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2020
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  4. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I'm not in good speaking terms with God. Instead of sending me positive messages like my Christian friends he sends me a message that someone in my family is going to die on Thanksgiving and it happened my uncle died that day but it's okay because someone in my life group got engaged on Thanksgiving BTW I'm being sarcastic but the stupid engagement happened.
     
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    I tried
     
  6. Magna

    Magna Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Tony, do you mean you're afraid of dying without having a partner and/or a family (figuratively "alone") or do you mean you're afraid of literally dying alone meaning, dying when no one else is around?
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    A short moment of truth void of any religious doctrine. We enter as one. We leave ------ as one----.

    This is the reality of death. Do something in your lifetime to feel you lived life. Live with your belief system. Do what you wish, do not let fear hold you back. There are many success stories here. Your success story is doable. If it means accepting yourself in this lifetime, then you have succeeded. l believe in you.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2020
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  8. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My condolences Tony, on the loss of your Uncle.

    I too have lost many family members and extended family members. It's hard to think about people being gone, and they become photographs and memories. It's something you adjust to over a long period of time. The memories stay with you of those people, so they are not forgotten.

    It's hard to contemplate being alone. And right now during quarantine it's even more difficult. But that does not mean it won't change. That things won't improve, that circumstances will be different when you can get about more freely with less stress about a virus that's locked down the whole world.

    Things are getting better, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just give it a bit more time.
     
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  9. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    Actually a bit of both. That I will die without a spouse with no kids and no one would be around that's still alive.
     
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  10. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Tony
    l had a spouse and a child. Both acted like l never existed. So l suggest live your life to your fullest. Even my mother refused to acknowledge me much in this lifetime. But l live my life for me.☺ Sometimes the guy that l really care for seems indifferent, but l still live my life to my fullest everyday without any of them. l truly never would want to hurt anyone but l still live my life in the end free of co-dependency.
     
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  11. Greatshield17

    Greatshield17 Catholic Nerd V.I.P Member

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    Do you know why He revealed that to you? What His intentions actually were? I know it sounds cold to approach what happened like this, I know it would very hard for me; but it could be genuinely helpful for you and lessen the pain, if you tried to figure out why He revealed that to you.
     
  12. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    I don't fear it. I have God,Jesus, the holy ghost, all the angels in Heaven and all the loved ones who passed before me.
    That is who is standing beside me when I face death for the last time.

    I just had a relative die a week ago. Covid and many other problems afflicted him. Before he passed I had a vision of a door. A wooden one that was open beyond it was beauty. Green grass, flowers, a beautiful sky and it was all bright and happy. I can still see it now. And I was wide awake in the middle of the day with my eyes open.
     
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  13. Magna

    Magna Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    @Aspychata makes a good point to try to live life to the fullest regardless of a person's state or position in life.

    I'm not suggesting that you join a religious community, Tony, but I'm stating a fact that is germane to your topic: I know there are Catholic religious communities (e.g. nuns and monks) in which when a member of said community is dying, the practice is that there are other members of that person's community that keep vigil at bedside with the dying person around the clock. In those cases the dying member of that community is guaranteed to have people they know and live with surrounding them at their death.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2020
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  14. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I'm sorry that you feel so alone. That's a terrifying thing to think about. Do you mean that you have no family? It's hard to accept what God gives us sometimes but that's what we have to try to do. On the bright side, your Christian friends are your friends for eternity and you certainly won't be alone in Heaven.
     
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  15. Autistic Yoda

    Autistic Yoda Do. Or do not. There is no 'try'. V.I.P Member

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    Edit:
    This is from the 50's, written in the language of the time- by a woman. Humans were once all called 'men'. Just consider the first announcement ever made from the moon.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2020
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    OR another female.
     
  17. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Death and I are good friends. Don't fear the reaper.

    It has been decades since I made peace with the notion that I'd never be a "success" in my life. I made peace with the knowledge I would someday die when I was a child. You simply have to accept without anger or fear the inevitable or you end up either angry or fearful all the time. That's a bad way to live.

    You don't need to run to death. It will come knocking on your door eventually. Everybody dies. Just like you were born alone, everybody dies alone. Having people around you weeping and gnashing their teeth does NOT make it easier to die unless you want to make people miserable on your way out. The process of dying is not easy on the viewer or the viewed.

    I have seen a number of people die, up close and personal. Watching someone die is NEVER a good thing.
    Whether they had families clinging to their hand or they were alone, the destination was the same. Personally, I'd prefer to die far away from other people and be scavenged and then turn into fertilizer. The only reason I'd want my body discovered at all is to provide closure to my family.

    I think you are really afraid of being alone while you are alive.
     
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  18. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    @Au Naturel just wrote basically what I wanted to write. Death is by definition a lonely experience. You die alone, just as you are born alone. There may be other people around, but the only person experiencing it is you, just like when I have cancer, only I experience my cancer, no one else. If you follow a religion, believe in an afterlife and can take comfort from that, that's great, but still, it is what it is, and the whole concept for me as a non-religious person is terrifying and difficult to come to terms with. For me, the thing that scares me the most is that I might be alone and old, with health problems, not able to cope on my own, not having money to live on, etc.
     
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  19. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    I have long since accepted that i will most likely die alone and not many will notice even after im gone. I just hope it goes fast and painless to be honest. and im ready when its my time to leave (natural cases ). And to clarify this im still trying to make the best of what i got in life to work with while still on this earth.

    And Tony DONT give up on life you never know when something good is coming. NOONE can predict the future and what it will bring so instead of worrying were youre at try to focus on what you whant to be and work towards that goal.

    I will fight for my goals as long as i still breath air Tony i will NEVER give up on my dreams.
     
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  20. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Everyone dies alone and I see many others have said the same.
    I have no family now and I actually prefer to die without someone or others around me when it
    happens.
    I'm glad to know there will be no one left to feel badly, (or happy), for my demise.

    I care not if there is anyone left after I go to mourn or make some sort of legacy about me.
    Everything is pre-arranged and paid for. No funeral, no one to come to it anyway.
    Just hope my ashes make it to the black marble container I have concreted down in front of my parent's crypt.
     
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