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Doubting I'm on the spectrum

Drakanav

Bird Fanatic
For several months now, I've been doubting that I'm on the spectrum. My mom and dad keep telling me that I am. But I just don't see it. I don't hand flap, rock or spin. I can talk to my mom, dad and bro just fine, can make eye contact with them. But not with strangers or any other family member. I didn't talk until 3, but I think it's because I was born at 33 weeks.
I have been to a psychologist, and she said I had nearly all traits. But I still don't see it.
 
Not sure what to tell you. The spectrum is very broad, and called a spectrum for a reason - we're tied together by similar traits, but some of us will have some traits while others have a slightly different set of traits. For example, I'm as Aspie as the day is long but I don't hand flap, rock, or spin either, and never did. I used to not be able to talk to or make eye contact with anyone but my parents (it was Selective Mutism, till I was 19), although I worked at that and now I can, but I used to be the same way is the thing. Others won't have had that issue, though it's typical for it to be much much easier to talk to people you're comfortable with regardless of level of social function.

Point is, I get the sense that you're applying a rigid definition to autism where it doesn't necessarily have one. Someone else could and probably will put it better.
 
Sometimes when I have a meltdown, I do start seeing that I'm on the spectrum.

By the way, do you have trouble knowing what to say? Most of the threads I've posted, I'll see someone respond, but yet I don't know what to say.

Weird question. Does the sound of plastic warp hurt your ears? Physically hurt?
 
I once told by a psychologist who was the one that told me I’m on the spectrum that you don’t have to have every single symptom to be on the spectrum but saying that while I have issues with eye contact there are those on the spectrum that can make eye contact,I do rock at times and even my husband pointed it out to me and said I seem to like the rocking motion but I also still walk on my tip toes which I found out is considered as a trait or indicator of being on the spectrum,but not everyone fits the stereotype and regardless of being on the spectrum our personalities can vary from one another so not everyone is exactly the same.
 
Sometimes when I have a meltdown, I do start seeing that I'm on the spectrum.

By the way, do you have trouble knowing what to say? Most of the threads I've posted, I'll see someone respond, but yet I don't know what to say.

Weird question. Does the sound of plastic warp hurt your ears? Physically hurt?

I always have trouble knowing what to say. I have to put a lot of thought into it, and even when I think I know what I'm going to say I have to muster the guts to actually say it and brace for the possible consequences in case I said the wrong thing. It's easier in a forum setting because I can double and triple check what I wrote before I post it, but it's still the same deal as in real life, or should I say, a real-time verbal exchange.

And plastic wrap, you mean the screeching sound? Yes. It's mild because I don't have a strong hearing sensitivity, but yes, it still hurts a bit.
 
Not all Aspies have all the symptoms. There are milder and more severe cases. That said, its OK to keep an open mind. Misdiagnoses do occur. Your test scores are fairly strong indicators however that something is going on. If not HF autism, then what?
 
Not all Aspies have all the symptoms. There are milder and more severe cases. That said, its OK to keep an open mind. Misdiagnoses do occur. Your test scores are fairly strong indicators however that something is going on. If not HF autism, then what?

Sometimes I think it's just depression and anxiety. My mom and dad disagree. They said that when I was a baby, they knew something was up.
 
Not everyone has all the traits and some can be overcome or even emulated as we get older, sometimes we can emulate almost naturally after a while and not even know we're doing it. We can also show traits to others without realising it, for instance I'm told I have a unique voice that is somewhat monotone and I'm also told I often shout, but to myself I sound normal and also normal volume. Since you had slow speech development as a young child it's likely you have high functioning autism like myself and I wouldn't had thought that being born prematurely would had held back development that long.
 
Not everyone has all the traits and some can be overcome or even emulated as we get older, sometimes we can emulate almost naturally after a while and not even know we're doing it. We can also show traits to others without realising it, for instance I'm told I have a unique voice that is somewhat monotone and I'm also told I often shout, but to myself I sound normal and also normal volume. Since you had slow speech development as a young child it's likely you have high functioning autism like myself and I wouldn't had thought that being born prematurely would had held back development that long.
I have a issue with my voice volume too,to myself I don’t seem to be shouting but my Husband has told me to turn the volume down and I get embarrassed because I can’t hear that I’m talking too loud.
 
In my own case, I had a lot of doubt over the process for some time. But something kept me investigating, and eventually I came to realize that I could no longer fool or delude myself over rationally dealing with my traits and behaviors.

I still recall that last thing that made me realize I was on the spectrum, even though being very high functioning. The discussion of various physical attributes along with nebulous clumsiness. I never thought of myself as being generally "clumsy". However I stumbled onto other comments citing certain physical attributes such as "stilted walking". I wasn't sure what that was, and was shocked to find out that I tended to walk in such a manner in my adolescent years. Something the kids used to tease me about.

I couldn't rationalize that trait to the contrary...and I finally began to accept rather than reject the whole notion that I could be on the spectrum of autism. It wasn't a simple- or linear "journey". It was a road strewn with lots of potholes for me! :eek:

Though it never fails to amaze me how I continue to learn of traits and behaviors of others right here that I share and have seldom discussed with another soul about. At least I'm not self-conscious about such things with this audience. I'm ok with that. :cool:
 
It all depends on your gender and who is dxing you. I was told by a female PhD therapist who has two kids on the spsectrum that I am Autism NOS. Then, later, an MD who works for a famous Autism co laughed in my face basically and told me no way because I made eye contact when I walked in. He was so rude about it, too.
"What do you think of all this autism stuff?" And he had a cold and was coughing in my face, not even covering his face.
Now, mind you, I banged head as a baby, have SPD dxed, selective mutism thru school, obsessions with words and specifically a single poet, like so many traits it is ridiculous.
Instead he looked at me and said, You just have a personality disoeder. Go do DBT and get on with it....
That blew that!! THat means I got no support and no help and no further connections and no community. He was a jack ass that wanted all the resources to go to low funstioning autism. He was totally blind to HFA.
 
It all depends on your gender and who is dxing you. I was told by a female PhD therapist who has two kids on the spsectrum that I am Autism NOS. Then, later, an MD who works for a famous Autism co laughed in my face basically and told me no way because I made eye contact when I walked in. He was so rude about it, too.
"What do you think of all this autism stuff?" And he had a cold and was coughing in my face, not even covering his face.
Now, mind you, I banged head as a baby, have SPD dxed, selective mutism thru school, obsessions with words and specifically a single poet, like so many traits it is ridiculous.
Instead he looked at me and said, You just have a personality disoeder. Go do DBT and get on with it....
That blew that!! THat means I got no support and no help and no further connections and no community. He was a jack ass that wanted all the resources to go to low funstioning autism. He was totally blind to HFA.

I’m sorry about your experience. I’m female and was diagnosed by a female who specializes in Aspergers, autism, mood disorders and Down syndrome. She was very nice and helped me with some things. I don’t know if I can go back to her because of our insurance probably won’t cover it.
 
For several months now, I've been doubting that I'm on the spectrum. My mom and dad keep telling me that I am. But I just don't see it. I don't hand flap, rock or spin. I can talk to my mom, dad and bro just fine, can make eye contact with them. But not with strangers or any other family member. I didn't talk until 3, but I think it's because I was born at 33 weeks.
I have been to a psychologist, and she said I had nearly all traits. But I still don't see it.

I understand how you feel. I was formally diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was five, and yet there are times when I question it. I do have some sensitivity when it comes to sound, (for example, I hate when people click their pens or whistle) but certainly not to the degree that many people do. I can go to parties and not be completely miserable, and I can also hold a conversation and come off as "normal enough" to most people. Not to mention I can't really relate to most fictional characters with autism.

However, I was also a hand flapper as a kid (and still do it sometimes in private), started learning how to read when I was two, have had special interests ever since I could remember, and am not good at making eye contact. I've also experienced a lot of difficulties with motor skills, from physical activity to drawing and writing. Once I learned that females often show their symptoms differently than males, a lot of it started to make more sense. So, I'm pretty sure I'm autistic now, but still question if I was misdiagnosed at times...
 
I still do it now.
I doubt I'm on the spectrum at least once a day.
I can find other explanations as the reason I do such and such.
 
I’m just one hundred and one, five months and a day.”
“I can’t believe that!” said Alice.
“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”
Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”.

Doubting you're on the spectrum is part of it. Reminded me of the above for some reason.
 
Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”.

I have myself but the 'impossible' didn't relate to autism, more to do with plastering bathroom walls for the first time ever.

Thank goodness for YouTube. :)


Big fan of Alice in Wonderland
:)
 
For several months now, I've been doubting that I'm on the spectrum. My mom and dad keep telling me that I am. But I just don't see it. I don't hand flap, rock or spin. I can talk to my mom, dad and bro just fine, can make eye contact with them. But not with strangers or any other family member. I didn't talk until 3, but I think it's because I was born at 33 weeks.
I have been to a psychologist, and she said I had nearly all traits. But I still don't see it.

What would it mean to you if you were on the spectrum?
 
Hand flapping, rocking and spinning are all forms of stimming, but not the only forms of stimming. My primary stim (but not only) is stroking and twirling my beard. I can't stop myself from doing it as I'm not even aware of it most times. I drum on my leg, stomach, and chest. I fidgit in my chair. Stimming also doesn't have to be body movements. It can be vocal. I clear my throat often enough to annoy some, even though it's partly involuntary. I used to death metal grunt and pig squeal under my breath. I found making these noises particularly pleasing. So on and so forth.

But I understand. I've doubted too. I had a very clearly autistic meltdown the other day, the worst in a long time, and that helped push a lot of doubts aside, but I occasionally still second guess myself.

If your parents knew when you were little, and you've been diagnosed by someone who specializes in Autism and knows how to diagnose autistic females, I'd put betting money on you being autistic. Welcome to the club! There's a huge diversity in what it means to be autistic, and there's so much to discover about yourself. Be open minded and you'll begin a path of self discovery that is both wonderful and scary.
 
Sometimes when I have a meltdown, I do start seeing that I'm on the spectrum.

By the way, do you have trouble knowing what to say? Most of the threads I've posted, I'll see someone respond, but yet I don't know what to say.

Weird question. Does the sound of plastic warp hurt your ears? Physically hurt?

Trouble talking? All the time.

Plastic wrappers are rather annoying but not exactly painful. But everything blowing or sucking air - hair dryers, vaccum cleaners etc. - and the high pitched noises like the ones in the tube or alarms in the fridges that were opened for too long... Hate them.
 
What would it mean to you if you were on the spectrum?

I guess a sense of who I am? I asked my dad last night, "What traits do you see in me that I don't see."
He said that I stim with my ears, probably without knowing and also zone out without knowing. I've been stimming with my ears since I was 1 years old. Haven't given up on my ears. My family members say that if I do it too much, they'll fall off.
 

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