I've never been in a relationship, largely because I was a late bloomer with self-esteem/avoidance issues. I also had low/no sex drive for most of my life. I think I can safely declare myself asexual at this point.
There was a small window where I thought I was "getting better," had some interest in guys, and still looked decent enough to be attracting guys. But it turned out I still had anxiety issues. Flirted a little, exchanged some numbers, but really freaked out at the idea of anyone I barely knew at my place, and when I did have sex couldn't stop worrying about getting pregnant or, worse, a UTI. So I pressed pause on that train while I focused on other things.
A few years passed by, and now I think I'm just numb. The last time I had a major crush on a guy was in 2017, and I'm not sure I'm really capable of romantic feelings toward anyone anymore. I have seen two asexual people partner up, but all the friendships I did make were casual and, at best, short-termed. I'm also not as fun as I used to be anymore.
tl;dr: I don't know how navigate the world without a relationship, but what if I don't want/can't have one?
There was a small window where I thought I was "getting better," had some interest in guys, and still looked decent enough to be attracting guys. But it turned out I still had anxiety issues. Flirted a little, exchanged some numbers, but really freaked out at the idea of anyone I barely knew at my place, and when I did have sex couldn't stop worrying about getting pregnant or, worse, a UTI. So I pressed pause on that train while I focused on other things.
A few years passed by, and now I think I'm just numb. The last time I had a major crush on a guy was in 2017, and I'm not sure I'm really capable of romantic feelings toward anyone anymore. I have seen two asexual people partner up, but all the friendships I did make were casual and, at best, short-termed. I'm also not as fun as I used to be anymore.
tl;dr: I don't know how navigate the world without a relationship, but what if I don't want/can't have one?