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Featured Does your brain short-circuit when speaking on the phone?

Discussion in 'PDD-NOS, Social Anxiety and Others' started by Loren, Aug 9, 2019.

  1. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Mine does, and, I, also, become quite tongue-tied. I notice that I am somewhat nervous when it happens, which is almost, the entire duration of a phone call, unless I am speaking to a family member, or, a person I am quite familiar with. It does occur when conversing in person, however, to a lesser degree.

    I wonder if it is due to social anxiety, or, something else. My mind will, literally, draw a blank, several times, if not constantly, throughout the conversation. I can, even, forget my own phone number, of which I’ve had memorized for the past 10 years. Unfortunately, I just jumbled my words and what I’d wanted to convey, as all the information that had been stored in my mind, vanished, and, I imagine that I made very little sense, if any, when speaking to a prospective employer over the phone.

    I wonder if there might be a way to overcome this. Thanks very much in advance, for any advice/words of wisdom you may have to share. :herb:
     
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  2. Clueless in Canada

    Clueless in Canada Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I dislike making phone calls and will procrastinate about business calls/appointments etc for as long as I can. I can easily chat on the phone with a few family members and friends I've known for eons, but there are some people I just can't make conversation with and I get very anxious if I have to call them. I use a script, just a list of topics or questions jotted down can help, and some full phrases or sentences might also be useful. This is more difficult though if the other person telephones you. Consider keeping a notebook of basic personal info near the phone so you can look up your phone number or address or full name if asked.
     
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  3. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you very much for your excellent suggestions! I will put them to use. I haven't seen you around, for some time. I hope all has been going well with you.
     
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  4. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    When I talk on the phone, I am never sure when it is my turn to talk. This does not happen when I am talking to someone face to face. I am not sure why, maybe it is tone of voice or I am watching something.
     
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  5. Clueless in Canada

    Clueless in Canada Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks for asking! I am fine, I just get overwhelmed even with internet social interaction so I retreat for awhile. :) I hope you are well too.
     
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  6. Aspychata

    Aspychata Applying for the here and now....

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    Sometimes l bomb on the phone. l can totally ruin interviews if l don't overcome my nervousness. I don't pay attention to social cues, get to wrapped up emotionally. Think it's best to anticipate phone stigma detachment , l gave it a label. Maybe if you stim or doodle with pan and paper. I notice it happens off and on. Another good technique is to ask them to repeat the question or info or ask them your version of what you thought you heard. When l sit in a office, l have no worries, it's in my idiot apartment l turn into a childishly incompetent 2 year-old.
     
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  7. rubicks52

    rubicks52 Member

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    I don't like talking on the phone, so to distract myself I normally do something like lean off a couch or my bed so I'm upside down. Obviously that wouldn't work for extended conversations, but for shorter ones like scheduling an appointment, I find it helps me a lot.
     
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  8. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am the same. I think you are correct, in that, it's, likely, the ability to see the facial expressions of the other person, and/or, hear the tone and, perhaps, inflection of the other person's voice, when what they are saying is drawing to an end.
     
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  9. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm glad to hear you are well! And I understand, as interacting online can be overwhelming for me, as well. It's nice to see you. Thank you, as well! I have been well, too. : )
     
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  10. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you for your ideas! I doodle when speaking on the phone, on occasion, and it does seem to help. I remember, when doodling/drawing in class, I acquired the same effect as with stimming, and, would, somehow, absorb information, more effectively, as a result, as well. Perhaps it is in fact, stimming, to some degree. I will heed your other ideas, as well. Thank you, again.
     
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  11. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you for your input! I can think of a few instances when I've done the same, and had, indeed, found it relaxing. Although, for some reason, my posture tends to play a part in the way I convey myself, even when speaking on the phone, so, in in my case, when on certain types of calls, not sure it will be effective, but, will give it a go. : )
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2019
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  12. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    be true to yourself !if you can talk to anybody do it ,if you can't you can't ,I can talk to a stranger if it seems like they want to take time ,since I've been given a name for part of what I am telling people makes you less panicky, that's always the problem the people who seem like they want to take the time aren't very many, so their willingness to communicate with you wears thin very quickly, all you ever really are is a curiosity, it irritates me to be manipulated.
    like the scientist Henry Cavendish was thought to be autistic and would take an evening walk to Hampstead heath ,he observed two women who were trying to communicate with him ,so changed his route immediately,people don't seem to hear the message I am not prepared to change! but seem to think that we have agreed to do exactly what they want.
     
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  13. Hareofhrair

    Hareofhrair Active Member

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    I have the same problem. It’s too immediate. Everything feels rushed and like you’re wasting someone’s time. And I have a lot of difficulty with numbers, so if it’s an important official call where they’re expecting me to remember id numbers and case numbers and phone numbers and old addresses on the fly, I fall apart.
    Once I was trying to figure out whether I had insurance (it was a whole thing) and a man tried to transfer my call to someone who could help me. I ended up in a phone tree and I managed to mess it up so badly I somehow undid the transfer and the guy who picked up the phone was the same guy who transferred me. I just burst into tears and gave up.
     
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  14. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I have the same problem. Not just on the phone, but also face to face, when I'm put on the spot. I forget things that I should know, and then feel silly/stupid. Overwhelmed by the immediacy and pressure to respond. It's why I always pace when talking on the phine, it helps somewhat. I much prefer to communicate in writing if I can.
     
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  15. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    I so dislike talking on the phone.
    I've done the same thing with numbers. Forget my phone or zip code, etc.
    If I have to make a business call like an appointment or insurance questions
    I try to it to one per day.
    There are only three people who would be calling for talk or help and my phone has their
    names programmed to announce who is calling. Everyone else it just says the number the call
    is coming from and I let it go to the message machine. If they leave a message, I can know what
    it is about and if I have to call them back be prepared.
    anxietycat.jpg
     
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  16. Kirsty

    Kirsty ND

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    I just don’t talk on the phone. Period.
     
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  17. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This is something I haven't yet found a way around.

    It defeats me every time.
    And I don't really understand why.

    I'm guessing at only having one sense to rely on (hearing) to tease out context.

    personally I think telephones distort the real voice and intonation too.

    it would appear I need other clues to confirm my best guesses at a persons intent and meaning.

    I hear the words and will understand those literally - in the time frame I have to work it out.

    there must be something about body language and the sound of a voice in real life that dilutes or changes that initial, literal understanding.

    perhaps it's because I have plenty to focus on and figure out in real life. busy brain.

    on a telephone I find myself pacing, twiddling, aligning items, losing concentration.
    I'd rather be anywhere else than stuck to the phone.
     
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  18. Baeraad

    Baeraad Well-Known Member

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    Not as such, but it causes me a downright insane amount of anxiety to call people up. Once we start talking it's fine, but for those first few seconds I feel like I'm in freefall - I have no idea what to say, and I'm so stressed out that I have trouble understanding what the other person says, too.
     
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  19. Bronzelincolns

    Bronzelincolns Well-Known Member

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    Sure does,

    My auditory faculties don't work well at all
     
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  20. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You aren't alone.

    There was a time in my life where that would happen to me. I never understood why at the time, only that the phone was not my friend, especially if I was the one who had to make a call.

    I suppose eventually things got better as I took a job where I had to talk on the phone quite a lot as part of my job. But still I have problems on occasion like others in terms of when to talk and when to listen.

    Guilty as charged.
     
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