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Does this happen to anyone else?

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by BrokenBoy, Jan 11, 2019 at 7:36 AM.

  1. BrokenBoy

    BrokenBoy 戯言使い(Nonsense User)

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    I have realized that there are certain IRL or online that I think are cool and I wanna be their friend and hang out.

    And for some reason I end up having fantasies and daydreams about becoming their friend and hanging out together.

    However I am too shy on average(with some exceptions) to actually considering trying to talk to them and I only end up doing it when they start talking to me first. However these conversations are kinda neutral and don't end up with me being their friend. They don't seem to hate me or like me, they just seem neutral towards me.

    Anyone else going through this?
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2019 at 7:57 AM
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  2. Monachopia

    Monachopia ...spiral out... keep going. V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, I've had this all my life. I have wonderful friendships with many people... in my head. It never goes anywhere, I never have those conversations, I can never actually act normal like I see in my mind's eye around them, they are neutral towards me and I'm always the weird person.
     
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  3. Graphin

    Graphin Serial conversation Killer V.I.P Member

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    In a very similar sense.
    By talking up to one of them, I found the first aspie, realized that in myself, recognized the abuse of my parents, amongst other things.
     
  4. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Yes. People tend to keep me at arm's length and deal with me on a neutral or superficial level, they don't want to get involved. I don't really get to know people, and other people don't get to know me, and it is hard to find friends or have meaningful relationships with people beyond the superficial. I really don't see the point of this superficial interaction. As a teenager or young person I found it frustrating at times, but I prefer it that way now, I don't feel I need to make new friends IRL.
     
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  5. DiverseWonderland

    DiverseWonderland I can do anything!

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    Yea I can relate, I will fantasize about making friends with a person or other things but as far as doing it I have a harder time with that.
     
  6. Otenba

    Otenba Maverick

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    Can definitely relate. Wish I had something helpful to say to deal with it. People I've told about it just tell me "forget them" when it's almost everyone. I'll never make any decent pals with that attitude. :/
     
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  7. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    This.
     
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  8. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    If it helps at all, I do the opposite and it has never turned out badly. Not that I remember... :eek: