Does seclusion make your symptoms worse?

[Zuliac]

I have lived in cities my whole life and passed generally well as a slightly-off NT-- inverted but well-adjusted. I learned I was ND last year AFTER I moved to a more secluded area that is amazing in itself. It is cheap, relaxing, right on the beach. I have a lot of time to indulge in hobbies and interests and try to figure out how to move forward as an aspie adult.

However, now I am about a 45-minute drive from a major population. There are some small towns nearby, but in general, I only need to leave my little haven to run errands.

As an aspie, I love the seclusion. if I only had my partner to talk to for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly ok. However, I am sensing that the longer I stay out here, the more reluctant I am to interact with others. I am worried that my social anxiety and "passing" abilities will wane so that when I do move to an urban area again, that anxiety and sense of being overwhelmed will balloon.

Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? Do you feel like your seclusion has relieved your anxieties? Were you able to readjust to living in a sea of people?

 

[Judge]

Quite the opposite in my own case. I like to think that deliberately limiting the exposure to my own species allows me to emotionally and socially remain on an even keel- and recover that much faster in the event of social stress or shutdowns.

A social and neurological dynamic that Neurotypical medical professionals cannot likely relate to any more than a male gynecologist attempting to intricately explain labor pains to a pregnant woman. Where it's inevitable that something will be lost in translation.

I interact with others here online. But in real life? Hardly at all, beyond the usual and brief exchange with a store checker.

 

[Zuliac]

Quite the opposite in my own case. I like to think that deliberately limiting the exposure to my own species allows me to emotionally and socially remain on an even keel- and recover that much faster in the event of social stress or shutdowns.

A social and neurological dynamic that Neurotypical medical professionals cannot likely relate to any more than a male gynecologist attempting to intricately explain labor pains to a pregnant woman. Where it's inevitable that something will be lost in translation.

I interact with others here online. But in real life? Hardly at all, beyond the usual and brief exchange with a store checker.

And you find this kind of seclusion overall relaxing in the long term? How long have you been living like that? Do you live in a densely populated area and just choose not to engage, or is your physical residence also far from others? How do you, say, make a living?

 

[Judge]

And you find this kind of seclusion overall relaxing in the long term? How long have you been living like that? Do you live in a densely populated area and just choose not to engage, or is your physical residence also far from others? How do you, say, make a living?

I've lived in relative isolation since 2006. Up until recently I was self employed as an investor. Now more or less retired. I live on the edge of metropolitan area, where on one side is raw desert while to the opposite direction is civilization. A relatively quiet place, with presently relatively quiet neighbors. For now at least.

However I also have to point out that I have the resources to achieve such a desire. It's also sort of like almost living off the grid in some ways. Not for everyone. But then living somewhat like Jeremiah Johnson in the 21st century may appeal to some folks. But no, I don't catch what I eat. My bad.

 

[OkRad]

I have lived in cities my whole life and passed generally well as a slightly-off NT-- inverted but well-adjusted. I learned I was ND last year AFTER I moved to a more secluded area that is amazing in itself. It is cheap, relaxing, right on the beach. I have a lot of time to indulge in hobbies and interests and try to figure out how to move forward as an aspie adult.

However, now I am about a 45-minute drive from a major population. There are some small towns nearby, but in general, I only need to leave my little haven to run errands.

As an aspie, I love the seclusion. if I only had my partner to talk to for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly ok. However, I am sensing that the longer I stay out here, the more reluctant I am to interact with others. I am worried that my social anxiety and "passing" abilities will wane so that when I do move to an urban area again, that anxiety and sense of being overwhelmed will balloon.

Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? Do you feel like your seclusion has relieved your anxieties? Were you able to readjust to living in a sea of people?

You are living my dream. I long to be in a safe, quiet area to heal from the trauma of living ND in an NT world.

 

[OkRad]

Quite the opposite in my own case. I like to think that deliberately limiting the exposure to my own species allows me to emotionally and socially remain on an even keel- and recover that much faster in the event of social stress or shutdowns.

A social and neurological dynamic that Neurotypical medical professionals cannot likely relate to any more than a male gynecologist attempting to intricately explain labor pains to a pregnant woman. Where it's inevitable that something will be lost in translation.

I interact with others here online. But in real life? Hardly at all, beyond the usual and brief exchange with a store checker.

This is great. You guys are really pulling off what so many of us only wish and dream for. Maybe one day I will be able to do this. I have looked into RVs and cars that have hatchbacks. Then you're mobile

 

[oregano]

When I finally move to my land next year, I will be 20 miles from the biggest town in the county, which has maybe 7500 people. The nearest "cities" are either on the other side of a mountain pass that is frequently snowed in during winter, or the other side of a winding canyon. Those cities have maybe 80,000 people each.

People who live in the county either do so because their family roots go back to the mining and logging booms and thus it's the only life they know, or they're running from something, be it the law/govt, civilization, certain ethnoracial groups, etc. People live in the forest and come into town once a month to get supplies and wash their clothes. That's basically what I'll do. As for income, I'm on SSI.

In large part, if somebody pays his taxes and doesn't bug anybody he's left alone. There are some "freelanders" who basically squat on national forest land and don't own anything of consequence except maybe a pickup truck, and they too are generally left alone.

 

[Chance]

For the most part I genuinely enjoy being mostly alone... Of course I do get a little lonely at times but only a little exposure to the drama and negative nightmare lifestyles that are close by... and I am easily ready to be alone again.

Its sad to me how some people just blow through this existence as if they are being cheated, or how they are jealous of others when the facts of the situation is simple. Most of them are extremely disorganized, dysfunctional, wasteful, greedy, jealous, purely hateful of anyone who might be doing better than they are...Well we get what we dwell on, it just simple science. So many people are stuck in the land of MORE, MORE, MORE... If they cant be truly happy where they are, then they will never be happy even if they had it all.

Most people cant seem to step back and see why others might be doing better... Sure hard times fall on all of us, but some people seem to want to wallow in them, draw massive amounts of attention from them, and even exploit others in the process, more than overcome the situation they are in.

I love setting very real goals not to compete with anyone, but to make me become a better version of me... Maybe... Hopefully, but then again maybe not : )

Too me... Solitude for the most part is a gift of grace and peace. A time to focus on the crap that has me going nuts, and focus my way out of that situation. I am deeply grateful for the times when I am allowed to enjoy being alone, not having to worry how I might be "acting" or the messed up body language, or social cues I might be misunderstanding, etc... : )

 

[tducey]

I like seclusion sometimes but most times I need to be around people just for stimulation.

 

[Progster]

Well recently, I've secluded myself in that I have no social life, I stay in the house most of the time apart from the occasional ramble in the mountains or forest. I do think that my social skills have declined recently, but I think that it is more a result of the burnout I suffered and lack of motivation, rather than isolation from people - my isolation from people is a symptom of the burnout.

 

[2205]

I grew up in quite secluded area. At age 19 I moved to 2nd large populated city in my country and then at age 24 to the most populated city. At first I used to think of this as a challenge - getting used to people and socialising. But at some point few years ago (I'm 30) I started to realise that I probably will not ever get used to this kind of life. I started to visit parents more and spend every possible time back home, away from city.
And just like you described, the longer period I'm away from society, the harder it is to return. It feels like in seclusion I can be my autistic self mostly all the time. But then in the city I feel I can be myself only between my apartment walls and the second I go out, there's world that just isn't fit for an autistic individual. It's loud, fast, people and cars moving around in every random direction like ants, getting something I need takes ages because of huge supermarkets and all the obstacles(people, cars, traffic lights, buildings etc) on the way... and all that just feels so exhausting.

The older I become, the harder it gets. In my early 20s living felt more like a skill I need to yet learn, but in 30s it has become so tiring, seems like I failed at learning living and the only solution is to give up. Not to give up living at all, but to give up living by those rules. Go somewhere far away from society and its weird ways. Funny thing is, I've had this same feeling since about age 12, but I kind of refused to accept that and wanted so bad to pass as normal in life and not be the odd one... but obviously it's just what I've become.

 

[Mary Anne]

I have lived in cities my whole life and passed generally well as a slightly-off NT-- inverted but well-adjusted. I learned I was ND last year AFTER I moved to a more secluded area that is amazing in itself. It is cheap, relaxing, right on the beach. I have a lot of time to indulge in hobbies and interests and try to figure out how to move forward as an aspie adult.

However, now I am about a 45-minute drive from a major population. There are some small towns nearby, but in general, I only need to leave my little haven to run errands.

As an aspie, I love the seclusion. if I only had my partner to talk to for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly ok. However, I am sensing that the longer I stay out here, the more reluctant I am to interact with others. I am worried that my social anxiety and "passing" abilities will wane so that when I do move to an urban area again, that anxiety and sense of being overwhelmed will balloon.

Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? Do you feel like your seclusion has relieved your anxieties? Were you able to readjust to living in a sea of people?

I envy you. If I am ever to fulfill my rural secluded dream, I will never come back. Yes, returning to the rat race of society would give me enormous anxieties and depression.

 

[I love roses]

I have lived in cities my whole life and passed generally well as a slightly-off NT-- inverted but well-adjusted. I learned I was ND last year AFTER I moved to a more secluded area that is amazing in itself. It is cheap, relaxing, right on the beach. I have a lot of time to indulge in hobbies and interests and try to figure out how to move forward as an aspie adult.

However, now I am about a 45-minute drive from a major population. There are some small towns nearby, but in general, I only need to leave my little haven to run errands.

As an aspie, I love the seclusion. if I only had my partner to talk to for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly ok. However, I am sensing that the longer I stay out here, the more reluctant I am to interact with others. I am worried that my social anxiety and "passing" abilities will wane so that when I do move to an urban area again, that anxiety and sense of being overwhelmed will balloon.

Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? Do you feel like your seclusion has relieved your anxieties? Were you able to readjust to living in a sea of people?

I definitely have this problem and what social skills I had did wane for a while. But I started going to small gathering a few times a month and that helped. Even some of the smaller towns 30 miles away have art shows and book signings. I just go to meet people and there is always something interesting going on with free food. I have a best friend I do things with at times and I’m taking a sewing class with three other ladies. If there is a museum near, they have events sometimes. Keeps me from getting rusty and more awkward. I like my long alone times, but am glad to get out when I do.

 

[I love roses]

I grew up in quite secluded area. At age 19 I moved to 2nd large populated city in my country and then at age 24 to the most populated city. At first I used to think of this as a challenge - getting used to people and socialising. But at some point few years ago (I'm 30) I started to realise that I probably will not ever get used to this kind of life. I started to visit parents more and spend every possible time back home, away from city.
And just like you described, the longer period I'm away from society, the harder it is to return. It feels like in seclusion I can be my autistic self mostly all the time. But then in the city I feel I can be myself only between my apartment walls and the second I go out, there's world that just isn't fit for an autistic individual. It's loud, fast, people and cars moving around in every random direction like ants, getting something I need takes ages because of huge supermarkets and all the obstacles(people, cars, traffic lights, buildings etc) on the way... and all that just feels so exhausting.

The older I become, the harder it gets. In my early 20s living felt more like a skill I need to yet learn, but in 30s it has become so tiring, seems like I failed at learning living and the only solution is to give up. Not to give up living at all, but to give up living by those rules. Go somewhere far away from society and its weird ways. Funny thing is, I've had this same feeling since about age 12, but I kind of refused to accept that and wanted so bad to pass as normal in life and not be the odd one... but obviously it's just what I've become.

The relaxation is definitely better. But small town folk can be harder to get along with until you’ve been there 10 years and they finally accept you. Guess it depends where. A lot of small towns people grew up together as children and that is their clique as adults and I can’t be part of that. So they leave me out,

 

[Venk]

For me.. yes. I have lived right on the edge of the capital city for 7ish years now, and every time I went home to visit my folks in a much more secluded place, I felt myself 'reverting' and 'losing my adulting skills'. There are many things I hate about the city, I especially hate all the people who dont walk on the correct side of the footpath and obey the rules of moving in a large group of people etc; but I find that being here, on the edge of town, keeps my stimulation needs met (town is there any time I need more 'human contact') but is far enough away that I dont get the weekend drunks throwing up noisily at 3am on my front doorstep (like I did when I lived in right in the middle of the city), and only have to deal with people IF AND WHEN I feel like venturing into town. But its kind of, oddly, reassuring that there are people almost within arms length if I need them?

I dont think I could ever live back out in the suburbs and certainly not rurally (I dont have transport so have to walk everywhere, another thing the city is good for). I like living in a quiet flat, within arms reach of the city, if I want it.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

If by 'symptoms' you mean social skills, then yes. My tolerance of social situations and ability to cope with them greatly decreased during the years that I was working in extremely remote locations. Since I have moved back to the UK and am living in the centre of a city my social skills and tolerance have increased again, the more I make an effort to socialise the more they do so. Going from camping in a jungle to living in a city was a huge shock to the system, and I struggled a lot with all of my aspie traits for a while, but it was totally worth pushing through the pain to make friends.