Does anyone have weird tastes for human appearance?

[ElvenNeko]

Until certain age i didn't even thought that girls can be... not sure how to describe it - super-attractive? I felt something like "neutral level" of attraction until i saw Alyson Hannigan (actress) and that's when i understood that i just haven't seen real beauty yet. Later when i got the internet acsess i found plenty more of amazingly looking ladies on pictures and videos, but still finding each of them were incredibly hard.

I cannot really explain what exact traits i love in humans (except the freckles, they always nice), but there is something about cute faces that are very adorable and feminine, that making me want to look at them all the time like on fine works of art, make me want to instantly hug and cuddle with them. This kind of faces are more common in asian race (they make the cutest emotions), but can be in others as well.

The problem is that what i love is very opposite of standard "model" type of appearance that majority loves and goes for. I kinda find that kind of appearance disgusting and it's hard for me to feel any kind of attraction to those who have it. For example there is a site with photos of woman that's considered attractive by majority of humans: https://www.pinterest.com/srettig1965/just-beautiful/ but none of them even slightly attractive to me.

What i like is this (from random pictures around the internet) http://ipic.su/img/img7/fs/BW2.1636990716.jpg


But every time i show it to other people usually nobody shares my attraction to this cute ladies. Yet they seem to be quite popular among men regardless, and that seems weird to me.

It's not like i ever valued appearance over personality, and if faced a choice i would propably chose someone who shares my interests but ugly over someone who is beautiful but we have no common themes to talk about, but there is some specific magic in looking at the person who makes you feel good and smile just by appearance only (and i can't imagine how good it must feel to touch such person). And also it creates another problem - i don't like being dishonest to people, so if i girl i would like asked me if she was beautiful and she was not - i would probably said the truth, that i value her for her personality and not looks. But when i mentioned that online, all the girls who read this said that they would dislike to hear that, especially if they are considered attractive by other people.

If anyone have same problem, how do you deal with it?

 

[Raggamuffin]

I did read a week or so ago that one anger trigger for those on the spectrum might be appearances of people. It could be specific things like the shape, or size of a nose, or someone's laughter or voice etc.

I find I am forever nitpicking on what I don't like about a person's aesthetics. It feels very shallow and rather vindictive.

Then again, the few times I have encountered a "10" I wasn't overcome with their presence or beauty. I was also angry too. Probably because it just conjured up further feelings of internal unworthiness that I project outwards.

At the end of the day "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I can tell what a lot of people would consider attractive, but I usually don't share the opinion. As you said, there is a certain "model" look, which usually involves not being overweight, not having an ugly face and having 1 or 2 striking facial features. However, without the makeup to do the heavy lifting, I've seen plenty of "natural face" models (without phone filters help) who really didn't look attractive at all. Just because someone isn't ugly, doesn't make them automatically beautiful.

Thing is, I think pattern recognition or appreciation can be common in ASD. I do think there must be some fairly universal standards of beauty in terms of aesthetics or facial geometry. Yet, much like a work of art - my eye is drawn to what isn't in sync with where it should be. In a painting, any issues with proportions or forshortening etc immediately sticks out to me, and I focus on it, and it upsets me. Same goes for how people look.

Again, all this seems to cast me in a rather petty mindset. The main thing for me that I'm attracted to is eyes. As horrid as it is to say, when I see beautiful eyes on an ugly head, I feel like how I do when I see beautiful classic muscle cars rusting and rotting out in a field somewhere - what a waste.

Yikes, I'm going to stop now because this all makes me sound abhorrent. Besides, beauty fades with age, we really shouldn't get so caught up with it. I dated some beautiful people and not once did I feel comfortable or good enough for them. Yet when I dated people who's personalities were more beautiful than their physical presence, I began to resent the fact that I wasn't attracted to them.

Clearly I need a lot of work on my own issues before I date again. If I don't love myself, then I will never be capable of loving anyone else.

Ed

 

[ElvenNeko]

In a painting, any issues with proportions or forshortening etc immediately sticks out to me, and I focus on it, and it upsets me.

Heh, that could explain why i so dislike surrealistic stuff and western cartoon animation style. They are so popular, yet so ugly.

 

[Tom]

I've always felt I have somewhat different preferences then the standard but it's just a matter of taste. One thing I noticed is that I found some difference, something a little unique, more interesting. I think with age it broadened out, which I believe a good thing as you can enjoy more of the natural beauty around you.

 

[Suzette]

I have always liked more extreame features. Big noses, rough craggy skin, wide mouths etc.
What is considered "beautiful" by many seems boring and forgetable to me. I like character, texture, and lots of expression.

 

[Suzette]

Clearly I need a lot of work on my own issues before I date again. If I don't love myself, then I will never be capable of loving anyone else.

If we don't love ourselves we can not know when others are loving us. But I think you can still love another fiercely even if you don't love yourself but we may not convey that message accurately.

 

[Aneka]

I've experienced how plenty of men are deceived by makeup. I have a friend who's a bit of a nymphomaniac but once he sees his woman without the war paint of love he goes for the next one. Actually complained to me about it.

Fortunately, not all people are like that. Like someone has said beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

my wife very seldom wears makeup, never needs to, natural beauty, even when we go out. when we first meet she had a friend whom was taking a course in the application of make-up who asked her to be his model. unfortunately had real issues, in applying the new skill. she has always been very photogenic.

 

[Aspychata]

Different cultures value different looks in male and female.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In America, the beauty code has changed, and woman of different sizes, and ethnicity is the leading standard. Ads today feature many types of people today.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I was always attracted to personality and smarts, then I'd consider their looks. But, oh man! a smart redhead!

I had a problem with the personality first, thing, in HS. In the usual banter among my acquaintencesI, I would, at times, mention that I was attracted to a girl who had a nice demeanor. They would make fun of that, criticizing the way she looked or dressed. After a while I would just let those feelings go numb. But luckily they reemerged more than a decade later when I fell for my spouse because of her interests. Plus, it was her beautiful phone voice that got me hooked in the first place.

 

[Au Naturel]

This is not a problem. Lots of people share your attraction to these cute ladies. Alyson Hannigan is very successful because she is so attractive.

Those pictures of "just beautiful women?" They don't exist in the real world. What you see in those photos is makeup and hairstyling and professional photography and Photoshop editing. You don't actually see the women.

An attractive personality is more important in making a woman physically attractive than meeting any visual ideal you seem to have imagined. You've swallowed the toxic social media stereotype hook line and sinker. We have girls making themselves sick and even killing themselves because they've swallowed it too. If you ever want romance, you need to understand that the woman you are with is the always most beautiful woman in the world.

And why do you give a flying fart what other guys are attracted to?

 

[ElvenNeko]

I have always liked more extreame features. Big noses, rough craggy skin, wide mouths etc.
What is considered "beautiful" by many seems boring and forgetable to me. I like character, texture, and lots of expression.

People who stand out. I can understand that, for example when Tilda Swinton and Dichen Lachman are not exacly my kind of beauty, i still like their appearance a lot because it's unique and memorable.

I've experienced how plenty of men are deceived by makeup.

Nah, i dislike makeup, and in many photos without makeup and with find girls to be more attractive without.

In America, the beauty code has changed, and woman of different sizes, and ethnicity is the leading standard. Ads today feature many types of people today.

Yet still man actors in movies are feeling like they got out from the clone factory, with few exceptions. I do not remember any blockbuster movie, or just any movie at all when girl would be this cute, for example:

the woman you are with is the always most beautiful woman in the world.

Why? She might be unattractive at all, but a nice or interesting person. That matter more than looks indeed.

 

[SusanLR]

Personality, interests and what I call a soul connection are the number one things for me.
But, looking at the physical only, a lot of people might consider what I call handsome or beautiful different.
I'm from an older generation so it is a bit difficult to see what I call physical beauty in the younger
girls today.
I was a model and make-up artist when I was in my 20's. That's when the glitz was up played.
Also, with men, the look of long hair and rock star looks are gone. So, my eye probably does see
physical only differently to today's looks.

 

[Luca]

Beauty is subjective… kind of like art! Not everyone has the same taste. You’re not “wrong” or “weird” for liking what you like. And beauty standards have always been unfairly unrealistic… but more realistic bodies, faces and skin colors are being accepted now, although that sounds really sad the way I put it. People shouldn’t have to fight to be “acceptable” by an arbitrary standard But now those issues are gaining traction so that’s a step in the right direction.
I would love it if someday a little kid came up to me, or someone my size and color, and said “You’re beautiful. I want to look like you.”
I’m not conventionally attractive at all. But I don’t hate my face or my body. I joke about it a lot on here
I’m fat. Who cares. If someone falls in love with me for my personality, I’m all about that. I don’t judge people based on appearance… I get along with lots of people on this site and I would even consider some of them friends, and I have no idea what most of them look like… but that wouldn’t matter anyway
I love people for who they are. Looks are very subjective. And if you can make a meaningful connection with someone, even romantically, their looks should be secondary or even tertiary, or totally irrelevant, compared to why you made that connection in the first place.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I find myself attracted to male little people. Not exactly sure why but I just like them. I also like guys with long hair.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am amazed at this community expressing a personality first ethic. Perhaps it comes from struggling for acceptance such that many of us empathize with an accepting, attractive, and intelligent personality.

Of course looks attract attention and this is easily used to manipulate people. Moe towards anime characters is a thing as physical features and emotional accessibility that people find attractive are taken to the max.

 

[Misery]

Honestly it's just a matter of tastes... that's all. Everyone has different tastes. Which can be for the girls or the guys. And sometimes they can surprise you.

Like, I used to never think anyone would exactly take much liking to me... I'm technically male, but I absolutely do not fit "traditional" male attractiveness and such. Males are supposed to be all masculine and manly and whatever. But my appearance is feminine enough that I've had people mistake me for female plenty of times, and I absolutely can crossdress and get away with it if I want (and surprise, I end up with a conflicted gender identity later on). That sort of look. DEFINITELY not "conventional".

So, I figured, who would be attracted to THAT? Everyone likes masculinity, I thought, and I dont exactly have any of that. I was self-conscious about it, way back when (but I'm also stubborn and just refused to try to change, because heck with that). And then I found out some people really do like that sort of thing. Kinda showed me the extremely wide range of tastes/interests that people really do have (and I stopped being totally self-conscious about it after realizing this and these days I just sorta roll with it).

That whole "eye of the beholder" phrase that people like to throw around might sound a bit cliche, but... it is entirely true.

I dont personally pay too much attention to how others look... this being partly because I have major eye contact issues and usually cant look at anyone... but what I do know is that normal/traditional is "boring" to me. I think "unusual/unconventional/weird" is so much more interesting. And I know I'm not the only one.

And that goes for personality too. "Normal" people are just so dull to me. But "weird" on the other hand... THAT can get fascinating.

In the end though... does it really matter that much? If you have "traditional" tastes, that's fine. If you have "weird" tastes, that's fine too. There's really nothing wrong with either. Dont worry about whether it meshes or conflicts with the tastes that others hold. All that matters is what YOU think.

That's my view on it anyway.

 

[Suzette]

I am amazed at this community expressing a personality first ethic. Perhaps it comes from struggling for acceptance such that many of us empathize with an accepting, attractive, and intelligent personality.

Of course looks attract attention and this is easily used to manipulate people. Moe towards anime characters is a thing as physical features and emotional accessibility that people find attractive are taken to the max.

I wonder what would happen if no one was ever allowed to see whom they were dating for a year? Everyone would be subjected to the same "character" first standard.
Would people still feel inadequate? Would they still overstate their accomplishments or try to appear interested in things they don't really like? If this was the cultural standard would our human view of what is attractive be different?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I wonder what would happen if no one was ever allowed to see whom they were dating for a year? Everyone would be subjected to the same "character" first standard.
Would people still feel inadequate? Would they still overstate their accomplishments or try to appear interested in things they don't really like? If this was the cultural standard would our human view of what is attractive be different?

For me it was three months before meeting my spouse. As I've related I met her over the phone when I called about ride sharing to a trip. I shared tips for getting in shape for trail maintenance and gear selection, but I just plain enjoyed hearing her voice. When first seeing her I thought, so tall, so svelt, and wondering how I even met somebody so attractive.

 

[watersprite]

I have always liked more extreame features. Big noses, rough craggy skin, wide mouths etc.
What is considered "beautiful" by many seems boring and forgetable to me. I like character, texture, and lots of expression.

Same here. I am attracted -strongly - to draw and paint men & women whose appearance has some pizazz, vitality, shows scars &/or that they’ve living a life.

As far as attraction to my physical partners goes; all the satisfying ones have had high intelligence, open-mindedness, and compelling and non-standard physical features.

I was asked to and did some modelling many years ago. I was a positive experience for me, because it countered the fact that my parents and siblings made fun of my appearance & called me ugly.