1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Do you have to take someone with you/give their contact details?

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by flyingswallows, Feb 28, 2021.

  1. flyingswallows

    flyingswallows New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2021
    Karma:
    +4
    Hi,

    I'm very conflicted. I have my assessment appointment on Thursday. My mum told me a year ago that 'since childhood, you've always isolated yourself at home and have had mood swings'. She now has no recollection of this, and has told me I was completely normal growing up. My dad corroborates the idea that there was nothing out of the ordinary.

    I really want an autism diagnosis. It would explain so much (social) trauma I've been through and four psychiatrists have told me they believe I have it. Should I just not pass on my parents's contact details to the assessors?
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  2. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,399
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,181
    Firstly Welcome to the Forums @flyingswallows

    Passing on your parents' contact info - for me it depends a bit on how the assessor phrases the questions to your parents. It may be that if it is phrased as him getting background info on you that is OK.When I had my assessment the assessor did not contact my parents, but I am older.

    However, there are plenty of other folks here who will have their views and opinions. Watch this space!
     
    • Like Like x 3
  3. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    515
    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2020
    Karma:
    +771
    Welcome!

    As I understand, if a diagnosis is being performed under DSM-5, that the assessor is supposed to be able to validate how the person was in their early childhood. As such, it's usually preferred that a parent be interviewed. However, where a parent is not available, someone else such as a sibling, teacher, close colleague or other person who knows the individual well might be called upon to step in.

    To my understanding, there would be a number of questions and they would be on specifics, so it's not like the other person is expected to just identify on their own how you may or may not have been.

    I am aware that some people have received diagnoses solely on the strength of the assessor's view of them alone, without interviewing or obtaining statements from anyone else.

    By the way, where one or both parents are on the spectrum themselves and don't know it, it's not unusual that they will fail themselves to identify in early childhood any differences, since what to others would be clear differences in words, actions, and behaviour to them is just normal. A good psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to elicit the information they need to make an informed decision.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  4. flyingswallows

    flyingswallows New Member

    Messages:
    2
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2021
    Karma:
    +4
    Suppose they're right and neurotypical, though, and I have been normal growing up, would it be possible to manifest absolutely zero signs of autism until starting middle school/secondary school? Thanks!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    515
    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2020
    Karma:
    +771
    If someone is on the spectrum, they always were and always will be. However, their coping mechanisms may indeed "mask" that and make their differences less apparent at first glace.

    Masking or camouflaging is well known as being an issue that often results in women and girls on the spectrum not being identified until later in life. The Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network is a well regarded organization and there's some neat stuff on their site.

    The masking can be so effective that the signs of autism are hidden well enough that an expert in the field might not pick them up themselves - for example, Sarah Hendrickx, one of whose books I just reviewed here recently, works with those on the spectrum and wrote six books on the topic, but only came to realize she was on the spectrum after all that.

    This can happen for guys as well - Tony Attwood, whose book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome is kind of like a bible in the field, for example, did not realize his son was on the spectrum until after he had gotten into a fair bit of legal trouble.

    As for a change in environment or circumstances, like going to a different school, starting a new job, or moving to a new town, yes, that can often be the disruption that impacts someone's ability to cope, resulting in signs of ASD becoming more readily apparent.

    If I may quote Dr. Attwood from pages 31-32 of the above mentioned book:

     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  6. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,128
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Karma:
    +6,082
    Hi and welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here.

    :blossom::bee::cherryblossom::beetle::hibiscus::seedling:
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  7. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,181
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,033
    .
    If it were me I would be honest and tell them your mum says things that were consistent with autism as you wrote above but then did not remember what she said and your father corroborated her later information.

    When I was last assessed my mum missed some things out. I was assessed in 2015 and did not get diagnosed but I was taking lots of drugs.

    I am lucky because my psychiatrists and psychiatric nurse filthy could see autistic traits in me and my psychiatrist wrote to the autism assessment centre. He wanted a letter from me to describe why I think I am autistic. He sent this letter plus his own letter to the autism centre and they got back to me asking why I disagreed with what they said and they give me the chance to write to them. I told them drugs clouded the assessment, that my mother got some facts wrong and that she missed out some very relevant information and the autism centre very happy that I provided so much information and I got a diagnosis last year.

    I don’t know what country you are in, I am in the UK. Even in the UK each region does things differently. As we were in the coronavirus period I got a video assessment and I had a different assessor.
    I also went into great detail about my social mistakes and The fact that I made a lot of mistakes at work that looking back were to do with my autism.

    You don’t have to take this advice, like I mentioned elsewhere I am not very good at solving problems and making decisions but it Worked for me.
     
  8. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,181
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,033
    Autism is something we are born with.
     
  9. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,958
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Karma:
    +13,945
    Not sure what to tell you on what to say or not say with the assessors, though I generally lean towards just being open and honest which such things. Hopefully the assessor is experienced enough to know how to interview parents and what blockages to accuracy can often happen with them. In your shoes I would probably not offer contact information but would provide it if asked.

    I think parents can react intellectually and emotionally in different ways, but one reaction you find is denial. They do not wish to openly face it, especially publically, and would rather rationalize it away. Hopefully an assessor would be aware of this possibility, having interviewed many parents.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1