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Featured Do you find it easy to have goals?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Dias, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Dias

    Dias Well-Known Member

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    I find it very difficult to have goals. Is it a depression thing or Autism? Or maybe I am just a boring person? That can be...
    The reality is that most of the time I feel bored but nothing seems to interest me...I find no utility for doing certain things and if it is not usefull I just don't do it. Maybe it just have to be fun!!! Am I being a complete fool by not enjoying life? I guess I know you're answer but I need to ear it from you.
     
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  2. SageRose

    SageRose Well-Known Member

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    Nope you're no fool. I've been struggling with motivation my whole life. There was a time when I thought I had no interests or specific goals. Then I discovered I do have interests, many in fact. But the bad thing is that I can't seem to be able to follow or evolve any of them to the point of actually achieving something in them. I also find the whole 'goal-passion-dream' thing a bit of an obsession that has kept a lot of people overly stressed and behind in their life. There's this great TedX talk on youtube about how overrated goals and dreams are. Sometimes all you need to do is start doing things...ANYTHING, just to keep yourself on the move, even if it seems boring or silly. And maybe that's what might give you the chance to acquire goals in the end.
     
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  3. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    Dias dear for me having goals and fight for them is one of the few reasons im still alive today. Achieving said goals NO thats NOT easy. BUT it CAN be done and i managed to get pretty high on my list actually and thats with LOW ods from those around me to actually make it i should ad before i finally lost and had to step down.

    Based on my own diagnosis id say it has more to do with youre obvious depression Dias. You really should try to see the docs again my friend as its clear to me youre on youre way in to a DEEP depression hon.
     
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  4. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Goals are useful for anyone on the spectrum. They help us focus, plan, and organize an activity with a reward of achievement. For as much as I love a project and related activities, I can be very indecisive. I get mired in the "what if", or anything else that stirs my ADD. Big goals require absolute priority - a commitment that cannot be shaken. I can be sidetracked very easily, and when I lose my concentration I lose my productivity. I view this as my ASD traits fighting one another. I prefer the hyper-focus activity, so I will ignore everything else that isn't directly related to the goal. It took me a long time to discover this, but it is a method that works for me. Indecision on establishing goals also works against me. I am always questioning myself, so it becomes difficult to firmly establish the commitment. I often lack confidence, so that becomes a factor to contend with as well. Commitment is the first force to harness. Then, you make your goal a daily priority. The real enemy is the external interference. Pay no attention to it - it is one of the ways we get tripped up.

    This shouldn't look easy or simple, but I believe that we manage our "issues" best when we understand the components and keep detractors far away. Only now do I understand the people who fill their lives with inspirational phrases, progress charts, and personal growth project enhancements. It's all about commitment and focus - almost like a cult. If something is important, give it important status in your life. Make it a priority.
     
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  5. Iamnotarabot

    Iamnotarabot Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My only goal in life was to work at school in order to play video game, then It's been almost ten years that I'm floating around with no real idea about what to do in my life.
     
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  6. Theta.G

    Theta.G Cylon

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    I find it very difficult to have goals. Is it a depression thing or Autism? Or maybe I am just a boring person? That can be...
    The reality is that most of the time I feel bored but nothing seems to interest me...I find no utility for doing certain things and if it is not usefull I just don't do it. Maybe it just have to be fun!!! Am I being a complete fool by not enjoying life? I guess I know you're answer but I need to ear it from you.

    Double down and go all-in on things you do find useful?
     
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  7. George Newman

    George Newman Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    When I am depressed, I have no energy and I just don’t want to do much.

    When I don’t feel as depressed, I am amazed at what I can accomplish.

    My dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder) isn’t oppressive but it certainly does not drive me to be super active and goal oriented.

    My autism traits seem to be most in harmony with the rest of me when I am not depressed as much.

    In my opinion, it’s a depression thing. An enjoyable life is relative. You define what life looks like for you and work to achieve it. Be patient.
     
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  8. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Fairly easy, otherwise I would sink fast into a sort of meloncholy state!

    My goals are surrounded by day to day activities.
     
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  9. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I do have goals, but mostly short term ones, no long term goals.
     
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  10. Mr Allen

    Mr Allen Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have 4 main goals this year..

    1) Get my eyes done up at the Hospital
    2) Get some kind of preferably paid job
    3) Pass at least 1 grading up to green belt or above in Taekwondo
    4) Compete at National or International level in at least 1 Taekwondo Competition.

    Oh and here's another couple I just thought of.

    5) Enter the talent contest at Yorkshire Cos Play or the official Comic Con, or the Cos Play Ball
    6) Attend an "Out of Town" Comic Con type event or Cos Play Ball (there's a Ball coming up at Huddersfield Uni next month apparently)
     
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  11. Dias

    Dias Well-Known Member

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    I am kind of carefull now about diving head on in to something because in the past I really committed myself to some goals that were obviously not good for me and I kind of crashed and felt disappointed with people and myself. I don't know when it is time to stop and move on. If I make a goal then I really try to follow through until the end but real life is not like that, there is a start and end to everything, but I don't seem to know that when it comes to practical situations.
    So I guess my extremes are not helpful in achieving goals, either they are too high and I fail and get hurt or I don't have them at all.
    I think I need to start with small things and procede from there and see how it goes on a daily basis. This takes a lot of self analysis and the more I self analyse the more I get stuck in indecision. Ahhahhh:(
    But don't worry about it, it is not as bad as it seems. Talking with you guys and knowing that I am not alone helps a lot. :)
     
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  12. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    Dias again ONLY a professional can diagnose you BUT i have to admit i recognize more and more of my ADHD trait as well as ASD so it wouldn't surprise me if youre Multiple like me dear (ie depression /anxiety Bi polar disorder is also known side diagnosis for ADHD as well as MBD & also ASD ,And ADHD is OFTEN co appearing with ASD and vice versa ) and like you i pretty mush have two speeds on most things FULL blow or slow turtle pace not mush in between.
     
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  13. Dias

    Dias Well-Known Member

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    Sarah S maybe you are right, I don't know. I still have to wait a few months for the appointment with the doctors. Until then I practise my patience and I actually think is beneficial to have this time before the appointment to allow myself to process all this information.
    But I doubt that my case is so serious.
    How can it be that I live 42 years undiagnosed if my condition is so serious?
    Are all the people around me blind or am I such a good actress? It is true that I hide and repress everything and I am a very good actress when I want...But really? nobody notices that there is something strange with me? Nobody cares? I don't believe that...
     
  14. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    Yeah well its only few month Dias. Happy it helps dear , there are 3 grade of al this different NSD diagnosis Mild - Moderate - Severe. Well i managed to disguise i had ASD until i was around 30(latest evaluation were i got my ASD diagnose (2010 ) and no i agree IF you indeed have one or more NSD diagnosis i would agree most probably Mild MAYBE Moderate on one if Multiple. BUT again im NOT a licenced shrink or doc so i DONT know.either way try to not worry so much dear it will get cleared once youre evaluated. & lastly its not that people around you dont care dear its more they havent a clue what to look fore.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2019
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  15. Dias

    Dias Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for explaining all these things, I am still very ignorant about all this and I most probably have the wrong ideas about it all. :sweat:
     
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  16. Sarah S

    Sarah S Active Member

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    Youre very welcome Dias, I didn’t know diddly about either of my diagnosis up to my adult hood & in al honestly id say since 2010 is were i Finally began to really want to understand AL of my Diagnosis and red up about them al. & in NO way should you take everything i say to be a professional statement its al based on my own diagnosis and how i work dear (and as i said earlier AL NSD Diagnosis are HIGHLY individual ) Oh and youe NOT Ignorant /stupid or anything else you can think of in the negative traits Dias dear .We AL have been in youre face one time dear .
     
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  17. Nihil

    Nihil Active Member

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    Very easy to find goals, more difficult to accomplish them.
     
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  18. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If I can convince myself of purpose,

    have back up plans to help me stay on track through the wobbles,

    and then make a firm decision,
    I’ll likely achieve whatever it was I set out to do.

    I don’t do the above as much as I could.
     
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