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Do others experience this?

wanderer03

Well-Known Member
I am happy and grateful to be working but it seems like management treats me like a red-headed step child. I don't necessarily mind it because I know that I am intelligent and capable but I think they see my "autismness" and they don't see me. While part of me would like more respect, the other side of me believes it really doesn't matter. I'm employed to do a job, not make friends.

Everything is spelled out for me a little too clearly, if you catch my drift. I cope with this by not hanging around the office. When I come to work, I get my vehicle and I leave. The less time I have to mull over office politics, the happier that I am.
 
It's hard having those two conflicting sides, isn't it? You care, but logic says don't care.

Are you comfortable with politely letting them know you don't need such treatment?
 
I spent my working career as a field service technician. I always got in my truck and left the shop as soon as I could. I was treated very differently by management and co-workers alike. For me, working alone was ideal.
 
It's hard having those two conflicting sides, isn't it? You care, but logic says don't care.

Are you comfortable with politely letting them know you don't need such treatment?
I care but only to a point. Part of me thinks it's humorous that they think I need everything spelled out when I can engineer servers and networks and these cats would struggle to use a mouse. If I didn't see the humor, I would be much worse off.

It isn't worth trying to convince them to treat me any different. As I get older, I see the value of being underestimated. I used to be horribly offended but now I get it. If they're going to underestimate me, it means the bar for success is low. This means that if I meet a little more than the standard, I can sit back and cruise because they will all be surprised.

I get the last laugh. [emoji1]
 
I experience this as well, and I'm management at a company that exclusively employs autistic people. I have a "co-manager" on the big project we're working on but it's so obvious that he's #1 and I'm #2. If all things were equal I'd just conclude he's a better manager than I am, but the thing is that he's NT and so is our boss. The way they regard me makes it very clear that they're the NT overlords and I'm just, as you put it, the red-headed stepchild.

Thing is, I make the project happen. My "co-manager" has very little to do with the project. He had nothing to do with the planning, design, or implementation. But when our boss needs to know something about what we're doing or has something to communicate to us regarding the project, I don't even get included in the discussion. It's just the NT's behind closed office doors. I have to eavesdrop through the door just to know what's going on with my own damn project; my baby.

It makes no sense. I'm smarter than he is. I'm the realistic head of the project. I've been there throughout the whole process. I lived on god damn credit and worked for free for eight months during the planning just because they needed me but had no money to pay me and nobody to bill. I've given my life to this project and this company, and this is the thanks I get? For some NTs to ruffle my hair and tell me what a good job I'm doing but give me second-class status?

Sorry for the rant. Obviously I can't name the company, and even the very nature of the project is hush-hush so that's a secret too. Wish I could call them out, there might be some gasps from the audience.
 
I am happy and grateful to be working but it seems like management treats me like a red-headed step child. I don't necessarily mind it because I know that I am intelligent and capable but I think they see my "autismness" and they don't see me. While part of me would like more respect, the other side of me believes it really doesn't matter. I'm employed to do a job, not make friends.

Everything is spelled out for me a little too clearly, if you catch my drift. I cope with this by not hanging around the office. When I come to work, I get my vehicle and I leave. The less time I have to mull over office politics, the happier that I am.
I always ran into that. I usually work harder to make up for it... then crash. I have found that using humor eases some tension. It doesn't matter what they think.
 
I used to be horribly offended but now I get it. If they're going to underestimate me, it means the bar for success is low. This means that if I meet a little more than the standard, I can sit back and cruise because they will all be surprised.

I get the last laugh. [emoji1]

That's a really inspiring idea. Thank you! I want to take that and store it away for those times when I feel underestimated and frustrated.
 
I take care of university housing (dorms) and I get more respect from the kids than I do my coworkers. As I've mentioned elsewhere, they're like a bunch of piranha that strike when they smell blood in the water. I get tired of being the brunt of their adolescent jokes, the false accusations, and then being interrogated by my supervisors in a manner they know that will confuse me. I've since learned how to deal with that. I just sit and stare and offer no response whatsoever.
Do you document every time you get these interrogations? You might have a healthy lawsuit for workplace harrassment.
 
The number of sociopaths in management is amazing. Sometimes I wonder if it is a pre-requisite. I've seen managers play subordinates off against each other, ostensibly for personal satisfaction.
 
I can't brown-nose or kiss butt worth a damn either. I believe the corporate world calls that relationship building. To me it's an astronomical waste of time and productivity. Plus, delivering false praise is something I cannot do - it's so saccharine.

Well, I guess I'll be the lowest man on the bus driver totem poll and I'll always be underestimated, but hey, at least the underestimation will keep relative success easy. At this point I just want to fly below the radar and remain unnoticed.
 
I've been watching stand up comics to teach me how to fend them off... You can make everyone laugh while sending your message. It's in the tone of voice I think. Ya know, 'its all in the delivery' . Is that crazy?
 
I've been watching stand up comics to teach me how to fend them off... You can make everyone laugh while sending your message. It's in the tone of voice I think. Ya know, 'its all in the delivery' . Is that crazy?
You have a point but I'm not good with subtlety at all. My meaning would be horribly misinterpreted.
 
I know exactly what you're talking about! I just realized that was very bad advise..my bad. Cause you just helped my realize it doesn't work! I've already failed miserably at the grocery I'm applying to today! When I say something stupid, they save me by saying...you'll never know what'll come outta here mouth! Hahaha
 
No apologies. It's not necessarily bad advice. For someone socially adept and astute, it works well.

I'm slowly learning to use the lemons life dealt me and make lemonade out of them.
 
I have worked there off and on for 4 yrs. Great people but corporate bs. I'm an obsessive work horse in every dept of this natural grocery. When I walked in door. Mangers came running to claim me. Then I said wrong thing to new young driven manager! I said something about dealing directly with customers wouldn't be good. I can't use the phone to take orders for pizza.What can I say when I see him today at 1:00? I'm stuck
 
I have worked there off and on for 4 yrs. Great people but corporate bs. I'm an obsessive work horse in every dept of this natural grocery. When I walked in door. Mangers came running to claim me. Then I said wrong thing to new young driven manager! I said something about dealing directly with customers wouldn't be good. I can't use the phone to take orders for pizza.What can I say when I see him today at 1:00? I'm stuck
Maybe say nothing? Simply observe.
 
Think bout this... I was totally detached from beginning. My talent was haircutting. I could visualize what had to be done from the start. I trained obsessively for 5 yrs then realized ... the hair was attached to people!!! Ahhh! They even put me on stage! I couldnt speak. I self medicated through years of that.. t'wasn't pretty 8( I need to figure out what I could sculpt that people will buy. I could work outta my house
 
I haven't worked in close to 10 years, but I do volunteer. I've never mentioned AS (because I hadn't been diagnosed), but I was always looked at as "just" a volunteer.

When the Board of Directors was going to pay someone to rewrite their procedure manual, I pulled out my old resumes and said, "I can type those 30 pages in less than three hours." I don't know if they doubted me or not, but ever since then, if I tell them I can do something, they tend to listen.

Also, I was able to show them how to refunction their proprietary software to do something they told me "couldn't be done," which are words I love to hear, because I am usually able to prove people wrong.

I guess the worst part is that I'm always looking to do something bigger and better, so if I see something that looks like a challenge, I'll tackle it.

I once worked someplace that needed a typist. When it asked for "skills," I wrote: "See this letter? I typed it~"
 

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