Do I look like a boy?

[inkfingers]

Lately I've been worrying that I look like a boy. I don't want people to mistake me as being male, because I'm not. But I also don't want to give up wearing comfortable clothes (men's clothes). And it doesn't help that I have short (pixie cut) hair and am fairly flat-chested. And I don't wear makeup. Am I overthinking this? Maybe I am, but it is really bugging me.

 

[SusanLR]

It happened to me a few times when I was young.
Being called Sir. Then when I spoke or turned to face them directly it embarrassed them a lot more
than it did me. I always considered myself neutral anyway.
It doesn't happen anymore now that I am older and more plump.

 

[Fino]

I've been mistaken for a girl 5-10 times, and I have short hair and wear boy's clothing! What the heck!

It's exclusively been elderly people or children, which is also the two demographics I work with most. People my age are flabbergasted. But I do sorta look like a lesbian sometimes. It runs in the family.

But I'm not too into the whole gender binary thing so I actually don't mind.

One lady expressed her confusion by saying, "Oh, you're a boy!" in shock once she was up close.

Nice, lady. Reaaaal nice.

 

[Misery]

Yeah, it's happened to me alot too. Though to a degree, I kinda try for it. But still, it has often happened even when I dont put any effort in.

The problem is when it gets weird. For instance, I think I know full well why women dont like getting catcalls (is that the right word?). Talk about embarrassing (fortunately that one hasnt happened often. Unfortunately, it once happened right in front of a friend's house, from a couple of random jerks in a passing car, because of course it did. You can guess how that ended up). And I've been groped a couple of times (at conventions, by drunken morons). I could rather do without those parts, yes.

When that sort of thing isnt happening though... it's all really harmless. I can see why some people would get really annoyed at having it happen, but still, usually when it happens nobody is actually trying to be insulting or anything.

I'm male, by the way, in case that wasnt already obvious. Though as Fino said, I dont really follow the whole "binary" thing much either, so that works out well enough I guess.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I'm been mistaken for a man a few times, by old ladies or young children. One little kid once pointed at me and very loudly shouted "mummy is that a man or a woman?", the poor woman was mortified, it was hilarious. It doesn't bother me at all, mostly I just find their embarrassment when they realise I'm female amusing.

To be honest I'm unsure why you are worried. If you want to look like a woman, little things can make it very obvious. Earings, colours, style of clothes, women's clothing can be very comfortable. If you don't want to dress in a way that signals "I'm female" then accept that you may be mistaken for a man... does it really matter if random people you don't even know mistake you for the opposite gender for a few seconds?

I assume you're not actually looking for an answer to the tile question as we have no way of knowing if you look like a boy or not.

 

[Oldlady]

I looked like a boy when I was a child and adolescent. I actually wanted to be a boy back then. Not sexually, but rather socially because of shared interests. That was in the sixties and seventies. Then I 'blossomed' shortly after puberty, which brought it's own set of challenges. However, the good part of that was that I have been able to be as androgynous in my behavior (gender neutral) as I like and never get mistaken for being male.

I like this because I strongly identify with being female, but not with being feminine. It has allowed me to be who I am more easily ... at least when it comes to gender identity and sexual behavior.

 

[china autie]

Female/not feminine, non-binary, gender fluid here too.

I think the whole man woman thing is overrated.

Jewelry can define whatever look you are going for.

 

[Mary Terry]

If mis-identification of gender is a problem, then you can always select feminine clothing in colors typically worn by women and feminine jewelry. So many guys wear jewelry these days that you'd need to pick items that clearly women wear. You could wear shoes that appeal to women's sense of style rather than "uni-sex" footwear like athletic shoes. I like to wear skirts in summer because they are cooler than shorts or pants and they always look feminine.

 

[Otenba]

Lately I've been worrying that I look like a boy. I don't want people to mistake me as being male, because I'm not. But I also don't want to give up wearing comfortable clothes (men's clothes). And it doesn't help that I have short (pixie cut) hair and am fairly flat-chested. And I don't wear makeup. Am I overthinking this? Maybe I am, but it is really bugging me.

No idea because I've never seen a picture of you - however, I will tell you this:

People are going to think what they want to think of you, no matter what you think or want them to think. They can think good as well as bad, and that is totally fine, okay?

You can only do so much about this issue, and yes, a few will blame you for their negative behaviour/comments towards you whenever they think they can get away with it (though this is a lie they're telling you so try your best to not believe it when you hear it - they're just cowards avoiding responsibility for their actions; pity them). You cannot control them, and you are doing nothing wrong if you happen to look more male than female. You cannot take responsibility for everyone else's attitude or behaviour in response to you.

I'm a woman with very short hair (above my ears!!), no makeup, and I get on fine. When I was still at school though, I got trans and homophobic bullying and I put this down to things like the maturity of the people around me. These children got these ideas from adults somewhere I have tended to assume, and adults are rubbish at dealing with bullies too because of society's tendency towards victim blaming so they don't have to do anything to help - I ended up changing school. I then grew my hair out in my mid-teens because I hated how people treated me - and I regret doing this looking back. It was not me. I cut it all off again in my 20s and I will never go back to long hair. I just do not like having long hair at all and life is too short for doing what suits others. You'll lose who you are if you don't live for yourself, including how you feel about how you present yourself. You have options to make yourself appear more feminine if needed - get creative with hair pins, or clothes, for example. Do what makes you happy and confidence will build from there.

Best wishes.

 

[Mary Terry]

No idea because I've never seen a picture of you - however, I will tell you this:

People are going to think what they want to think of you, no matter what you think or want them to think. They can think good as well as bad, and that is totally fine, okay?

You can only do so much about this issue, and yes, a few will blame you for their negative behaviour/comments towards you whenever they think they can get away with it (though this is a lie they're telling you so try your best to not believe it when you hear it - they're just cowards avoiding responsibility for their actions; pity them). You cannot control them, and you are doing nothing wrong if you happen to look more male than female. You cannot take responsibility for everyone else's attitude or behaviour in response to you.

I'm a woman with very short hair (above my ears!!), no makeup, and I get on fine. When I was still at school though, I got trans and homophobic bullying and I put this down to things like the maturity of the people around me. These children got these ideas from adults somewhere I have tended to assume, and adults are rubbish at dealing with bullies too because of society's tendency towards victim blaming so they don't have to do anything to help - I ended up changing school. I then grew my hair out in my mid-teens because I hated how people treated me - and I regret doing this looking back. It was not me. I cut it all off again in my 20s and I will never go back to long hair. I just do not like having long hair at all and life is too short for doing what suits others. You'll lose who you are if you don't live for yourself, including how you feel about how you present yourself. You have options to make yourself appear more feminine if needed - get creative with hair pins, or clothes, for example. Do what makes you happy and confidence will build from there.

Best wishes.

I keep my hair short, too, about chin length. My hair was so long in my teens and twenties that I literally could sit on it. It would get stuck in elevator and car doors and clog up the shower drain. Never again! It was a pain in the a$$.

 

[Misery]

I keep my hair short, too, about chin length. My hair was so long in my teens and twenties that I literally could sit on it. It would get stuck in elevator and car doors and clog up the shower drain. Never again! It was a pain in the a$$.

My own hair goes a bit past my shoulders, and yes, it does manage to get caught in things like car windows/doors.

Got caught in a sunroof recently. While I was just sitting normally in the seat. No, I dont know how. But it sure was annoying.

 

[Crossbreed]

Do I look like a boy?

Looking at your avatar, you look like a hand mirror...♀

 

[china autie]

I had long hair into my twenties and a series of shorter and shorter haircuts resulted in a huge increase in my comfort factor.

 

[Oldlady]

I have almost always sported long hair. I just like it, but also it makes me feel more hidden.