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Do any of you have self esteem issues?

I absolutely do

I sometimes feel great, sometimes feel terrible

Sometimes I doubt myself, other times I don’t

I might be bipolar, might not

I find that I have difficult dealing with my emotions
 



 
Honestly, self-esteem is a extra difficult thing for any of us on the spectrum. Though environment, people, and societal expectations are things that can have us believe a number of things. Especially when we seek to mask to try and fit in. Such confusions are hell on our wellbeing emotionally and psychologically.

Finding support from people who understand though is a good step in the right direction. And you have done that joining here~

So keep trying. I know you can find your way~
 
So much. I have little to no confidence in myself. The only thing keeping me from being worries about it all the time is distractions but thats not a fix of course. I'd also like to know how others deal with it.
 
None whatsoever, and I struggle with a lot of self-hatred in recent times.

I dont know what else to say.
 
My self esteem issues at my lowest in my teens and 20s revolved around my social dusfunction. I could not understand social communication and conduct, plus in my schooling I always felt judged and wanting. I did not feel valued and was disturbed by what I could see of others interpersonal relationships that I thought were beyond me. I thought of myself as particularly undesirable. So I not only had self esteem issues, I had body image issues. I withdrew and became socially isolated.

What started to rectify this was when I began doing research. I was a good experimentalist and contributed significantly enough that I was a named author on several publications. I started feeling competent and valued. Plus, now that I was making a (modest) income, I could afford to pursue interests. I was becoming comfortable in myself and thought that life was good. This comfort in myself still did not assist me socially so I started engaging with others and saw them as less threatening (no judgment, and accepting, no rejection). Slowly I was learning my agency and lived independently - a big plus for self esteem. All of this still left me feeling that I wanted to share life with a romantic partner. I started asking out women and in a short while was into my first relationship. It was enjoyable and we had intimate moments (though no sex yet). This let me think that my negative body image was untrue even when the relationship ended. The thing that allowed me to put my self esteem and body image issues to rest was when a woman accepted me sexually. A lot of self doubt was erased.

I went through all of this not knowing that I was autistic.
 
It's quite an interesting phenomenon, that is, how a person's childhood experiences can severely affect the person well into adulthood. The only experience with this would be my wife, who was that "ugly duckling" in middle school and early high school, and even though she had good friends, she's always seen herself as that "ugly duckling" well into adulthood. Her self-esteem was very low for decades. I spent the better part of 20-25 years, every day, building her up, refusing to acknowledge her degrading comments about herself, complements, and so on. Frankly, it was rather tiresome to deal with. Eventually, she stopped with the attitude and began to see what an awesome person she is personally and professionally. Now, I think sometimes, she thinks a little too highly of herself! ;):)

Personally, I have been sort of "neutral" if you will with regards to my self-esteem. I've had moments where I've thought quite highly of myself, and other times where I wasn't sure about myself, at all, to the point of anxiety attacks. I was always one to not pay any attention to naysayers. I had the advantage of being the biggest, strongest kid in school, weight room, and football team. Nobody really bothered me.
 
For me, having reminders (especially tangible ones) of my accomplishments help remind me of what I've done and they're comforting to turn to during times where I'm doubting myself.

Some of these things might be mundane or trivial to others, but they're special to me.
 
I am very confident about a lot of things, but I’m still insecure about myself sometimes, especially because of how much my self worth has been impacted by bullying.
I’m trying really hard to completely stop caring about what anyone else thinks. Easier said than done.
 
I lack a lot of self belief, but also have a lot in one certain way: my surety that I can change things. I find myself lacking in many ways, but have an underlying belief that I can just work harder to sort it out or compensate. Net result I'm highly stressed and highly driven, but don't recognise anything I've accomplished and suffer from imposter syndrome on a colossal scale. I don't admit much to the imposter syndrome, usually get told I can't possibly have it.
 
I have very little confidence in certain facets of my ability, but I think this is rightly so. It still doesn't feel good of course. But there is definitely a method to take this inability away from the idea of sin. If you don't consider the unmet expectations a sin, then there is no longer a reason to direct such disdain at yourself. This can help set the boundary between personal flaws that perhaps deserve self-criticism, and the aspects that are more neutral but you simply wish would change.
The other great bandaid for self-esteem is healthy relationships with decently close connection. If you become able to sincerely believe in- and encourage others, it will also become easier to do so for yourself. But I understand this is less relevant to bring up, as it's one of those things you either already know and have, or don't and can't exactly just get on prescription from the pharmacy.
 
For me, having reminders (especially tangible ones) of my accomplishments help remind me of what I've done and they're comforting to turn to during times where I'm doubting myself.

Some of these things might be mundane or trivial to others, but they're special to me.
Well done. I have had to remember my accomplishments when I feel triggered, because being triggered sends me back to the feelings of being useless and unloved, and my life is far from that with going far beyond the limits people set for me.
 
I am very confident about a lot of things, but I’m still insecure about myself sometimes, especially because of how much my self worth has been impacted by bullying.
I’m trying really hard to completely stop caring about what anyone else thinks. Easier said than done.
But, Luca, you have people here who admire you and your verve. If you hear anything negative from bumptious yokels, remind yourself that there are people here who appreciate you. And your posts with your friends having fun. Certainly there is joy in your life sufficient to smother those thoughts of being bullied.
 
I sometimes struggle with making mistakes. I get angry with myself when I’m working at the cash register. I get angry when I give out the wrong change or I add incorrectly. I have to remember that I am still learning and that it will take me some time to grasp the concept. I have make a lot of improvements since the first day.
 
I wouldn`t say I am a person who has really low self esteem. There are things I know I am really good at and in those fields I have pretty high self esteem. For example, raising my kids. I don`t care what anyone says about it. I know I am doing it the best way I can for my kids. That does not mean I`m not open to change or suggestions. It is moreso that I do not care if people do not agree with the way I do it. (togehter with my wife)
But in other fields, especially socially you could say I have low self esteem. Like yesterday when my wife and kids wanted to go out to dinner at an all you can eat. I was standing at the deserts where you to stand in line. While I was scooping the icecream someone started to go in front of me. Instead of telling them I was not done yet I took a step back and waited until that person was finished. The noise and overall chaos in that place did not help. But in those moments I am not confident enough to demand my place. Eventhou I know that person was in the wrong. And I think that is mostly because of low self esteem in that area.
 
I deal with my low self esteem in my waking hours and I feel bad about myself all the time. How do any of you deal with low self esteem issues?
Most of the time, yes. I feel fine until I make mistakes musically--it has seriously become an issue ever since my diagnosis. It's so frustrating. Most other aspects of my life are fine and dandy, and I can deal with this and that--but music? I just get so discouraged when my brain won't work right. I don't know how to fix it.
 

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