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Did your parents ever put you in a group home?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by SchrodingersMeerkat, Jan 17, 2021.

  1. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    Or residential care?

    My mother told me that when I was hospitalized at nine years old due to aggression and she and my father were desperate that the psychiatrist assigned to me suggested they give me up. She was like "She will ruin your lives!" Ironically her first name was Karen. My mother argued back, "That would ruin HER life! She's MY daughter! My other children would hate me. She's THEIR little sister!"

    The Psychiatrist lady wasn't even good at her job. I kept telling her WHY I was so aggressive. The bullying at my school, lady! She claimed it was my fault and doped me up on Prozac which only made me sick. She also mocked my special interests, or at least I felt like I was being mocked. No one took me seriously about that as a child. "You always take things so personally!" I looked her up online recently and she has moved out of state but has a HORRIBLE review. Gee? I wonder why? *sarcasm*

    If my mother had listened to her and did basically abandon me, my middle older brother probably would have busted me out of the group home or facility as soon as he got out of the military and took action to legally adopt me and get me REAL help. My mother used to work in a group home for autistic and developmentally disabled boys. She saw all kinds of abuse but got in trouble for trying to report it. She vowed that if she ever had a child that was "different", she would NEVER put them in a group home or something called "respite".

    When my mother did need a break to me, she usually sent me to my brother's house for the week. He was in college or med school at the time and his girlfriend/wife worked. I usually sat on the couch and watched television or drew until he got home from school. Sometimes I helped him with his homework or helped his girlfriend/wife make dinner, or grocery shop. After dinner we played games and on weekends went somewhere fun. I truly don't know if it was because my parents needed a break or because my brother wanted brother/sister time.

    My mom was threatening to send me to a group home once. I honestly think she had an undiagnosed stroke that was messing with her personality because she was NASTY and MEAN when she usually wasn't. She was bullying me emotionally and making me want to commit suicide. I wanted to move out on my own. I was 26 and perfectly about too legally.

    But my family refused to help me move and my mother kept emotionally abusing me. I tried getting jobs since my mother wasn't letting me access my SSDI (my mother wouldn't let me apply for a job when I was sixteen and was adamant I would need SSDI) when I tried to apply for an apartment on my own but she took my phone when potential interviewers called me. I even found my parent's phone and called the police about this but they didn't believe me. I had no one believe me when I told what was going on at home. But my mother kept saying I had to go to a group home to "learn how to independent".

    I didn't buy that for a minute. My brothers never had to go to a group home and I never heard of anyone else who had to go to one before they could be declaimed independent. And it also sound a lot like the other disinformation she told me such as "autistic people are not allowed to drive".

    I somehow convinced my father to drive me to the homeless shelter and I stayed there for a few days. It was actually kinda nice for a homeless shelter and I even made some friends. But after that, then my mother suddenly decided I could get my own apartment. Every case worker (since I am technically disabled) has told me I am way to high functioning for a group home.

    But I fear my nephews will put me in a nursing home someday. My neighbor had a home aide but she eventually got put in a nursing home anyway. My grandmother (who had a few autistic traits) was in a nursing home until she died. They said she was "psychotic" because she was always trying to tell my mother when she came to visit about how the nurses and aides at the home were taking advantage of her.

    Anyway, has anyone actually been in a group home or "residential home" setting. Even "respite". What was it like and did you ever get out? And if you did get out, how?
     
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  2. FreeDiver

    FreeDiver How long can you hold your breath? V.I.P Member

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    Seems to me that your family is gaslighting you and want to keep you under their control. I would make every effort you can to get out of there.

    If you mother is receiving SSDI payment intended for you and not giving you that money? That's fraud. Your mother is committing a crime by doing that.
     
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  3. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    I got out about five or six years ago. I WAS being gaslight. I'm not anymore, but then we don't talk about that. My mother genuinely seems not to remember it so I think it was due to a stroke. I moved back with them after some kids arsoned my apartment but technically just to my parents' property. I live in one of those mini houses. But I have a caseworker now if **** ever hits the fan again.



    I TRIED to tell the police but they took my mother's side of the story. Anyway, it was years ago and things are different now.
     
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  4. ZebraAspie

    ZebraAspie Well-Known Member

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    I’ve never been in a group home or would want to be. My Mum struggles to even let me be with PAs (particularly at the moment it’s Covid only used about 4hours or care in the last year). This is partly due to some bad PAs in the past. I was suppose to have a PA round to care for me for a rest bite stay last year but due to her own circumstances this had to be cancelled and I had my Gran over instead. I was suppose to have to have an own home respite carer this month but won’t be due to Covid. My Mums incredibly picky on who she employs and will not go through agency. I got full vetting power on all PAs.
     
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  5. Stardust Parade

    Stardust Parade Well-Known Member

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    No, but I never had issues like that. I have a career, full time job, and don’t live with my parents.
     
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