• Feeling isolated? You're not alone.

    Join 20,000+ people who understand exactly how your day went. Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-identified, or supporting someone you love – this is a space where you don't have to explain yourself.

    Join the Conversation → It's free, anonymous, and supportive.

    As a member, you'll get:

    • A community that actually gets it – no judgment, no explanations needed
    • Private forums for sensitive topics (hidden from search engines)
    • Real-time chat with others who share your experiences
    • Your own blog to document your journey

    You've found your people. Create your free account

Did I do something wrong?

Lolanica

New Member
I was a bit drunk and went out to make new friends. I invited people over and we had a nice time I thought. But, then all of a sudden they all looked at me like a monster and I don’t know what I said. I thought we were getting along. But then they all left and one of them seemed angry at me. I tried to follow and ask what did and they were all super patronising and weird and seed to want me to go away. What did I do/say. We were singing songs and laughing and I made a joke about men and skid marks maybe it was too gross?? Super weird for British people to be Squeimsih (I can’t spell). Did I muck it up and when I apologised they got more weird and they all left me like I was crazy. Did I do something really wrong?
 
Hello & welcome @Lolanica!
full

Did I do something wrong?
With none of us having been there, we have no way of knowing the particulars that set them off. Autism means a lack of "social instinct." Unwittingly violating unrecognized social conventions is de rigueur for us.
full


Here are a couple of my past faux pas,...
The best you can hope for is other neuro-diverse friends who will cut you some slack or gracious NT friends who will let you know what you missed. If you get a diagnosis, an autism-competent therapist can also do the latter.
 
Last edited:
What did I do/say. We were singing songs and laughing and I made a joke about men and skid marks maybe it was too gross?? Super weird for British people to be Squeimsih (I can’t spell). Did I muck it up and when I apologised they got more weird and they all left me like I was crazy. Did I do something really wrong?
English, and especially British English, can be a very nuanced language. The meanings of words can change depending on context and tone of voice.

As an example the word Mate is often mistakenly translated as Friend but that's not the case. Depending on context and tone of voice the same word can be used to express concern, convey a warning, or even be used as a direct insult.

Also in most English speaking countries you can be unintentionally very rude and offensive by using American terms.

Classic example: The word Fanny very specifically means Vagina in every English speaking country except for the US and Canada.

So as @Tired mentioned, it would help if you could remember exactly what it was that you said.
 
I am imagining that you were tipsy, trying to hang around people you didn't know well in order to make friends, and said and did things that were socially embarrassing, for both you and for the people in your proximity.

In general, toilet humor is considered childish. But in the right crowd and right time can be humorous. It's best to not use it if you're not savvy.

There are too many things we don't know: how old are you, how old were the people you were trying to hang around with, are you a man or woman, was this group male or female, where were you when this happened (a bar, a restaurant, etc.).
 
I was a bit drunk

This could potentially go for a great many people, regardless of their neurological status. That even in cases where you may think you were "in control", in reality you may not have been. Plus not being able to actually recall if you truly offended anyone or kept track of how much alcohol you actually consumed.

One thing I learned about alcohol, is that it can metabolically impact so many on a very individual basis. That while you have thought you were in control, it may simply not be the case depending on just how much you actually had to drink over time and how much your metabolism can absorb before becoming a potential problem.
 
Last edited:

New Threads

Top Bottom