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Did anyone ever force you to do/attend something you don’t like?

2Fragile2TakeCriticism

Black sheep in my own community
V.I.P Member
I had a horrible dream a few nights ago that my family would make me live and perform music in a haunted mansion. I kept begging them that I don’t want to go even though they told me I will go and that’s final. I kept telling them I’m sick and they reply I’m just being selfish and hysterical. Only for them to keep telling me that there are vampires and werewolves and other scary monsters, and when they succeed in scaring me, they’ll laugh and say “quit being such a baby, it’s not real, it’s only a joke!”. They added that the monsters may be nice and being scared is fun. I protested that it’s not fun for me and I have extreme anxiety. They told me that I should get over myself. They finally convince me that they’ll leave me home alone and call all the ghouls and demons to invade my room and ruin my life.

They dragged me to the haunted house which is completely abandoned by the way. I said, “let’s go home”, they replied “no, let’s go in” and did an evil vampire laugh. I tried to escape but they grabbed my arm and forcefully dragged me in. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt as if I was going to throw up. I kept whimpering that I’m scared, only for my family to reply that they don’t care. I kept begging for them to take me home, but they kept telling I’ll get used to it. My anxiety said otherwise. My family laughed and laughed and laughed at all the scary things while I just trembled in fear. I hated every second of it.

They put on scary masks and they told me to look at them, even though I kept trying to hide my face, they forcefully made me look directly at them. I was screaming and crying, they told me to stop whining and be grateful for once. The performance arrived. I was too terrified to perform but they made me do it anyway, and said “the audience NEEDS you”. I was surrounded by dead bodies giving ugly death stares at me. I performed rather weakly and just as the song was finished. I quickly scrambled to one of the rooms, while I overheard my dad saying “don’t mind her, she’s just a sissy”.

As I scrambled my way up the stairs, one of my cousins followed me and told me how much of a crybaby I was. I glared at him and replied “how’d you like it if someone made you do something you didn’t like?”. He laughed and replied “are you kidding? There’s nothing in the world I don’t like, except inviting girls over to my house”. I noticed a sign in front the door that read “keep out”, I looked at all the doors, they all had the same sign. I grew suspicious and asked why every door has the same sign. My cousin replied that it’s probably a boys’ only place and the girls are not allowed to enter. I asked him how did he know, and if it was, then how about he go check it out.

He went in and shut the door. I waited for him but he never came out. It lasted for hours. Then I grew tired of waiting and slipped through the door he entered. I tiptoed slowly through the dark room, everything creaked, spiders were scattered all over the walls and ceilings. I called for my cousin, but there was no reply. I finally gave up, and decided to go to the bathroom. But as I went to the exit, I realized by the time I tried to open the door, I was locked in. Then my cousin appeared behind me, I jumped and screamed in horror. His stare was cold as ice. Sweating all over, I asked him how are we going to get out. He grinned slowly and said “no, YOU will never get out, you’re going to stay here for the rest of your life”.

I was confused. He added “you poor little fool, look at you, trembling and sweating, tears flowing down your fragile little face. How I so love it when you suffer!”. I stammered “but why would gain so much pleasure in my misery? Aren’t you supposed to be my cousin?”. He laughed evilly and replied “I’m NOT your cousin! I’m not even human!”. Just then he grabbed the sides of his face and started to peel his whole body off. What was behind the mask was a hideous looking green goblin with a huge crooked nose, cavity-infested teeth, hunched up back, huge clawed hands and feet, and boils all over his face.

“That’s right! You fell into our trap!” the goblin cackled. I tried to scream for help but he clawed my mouth shut. “Hush your screaming! It’s only for FUN!!” he shouted. Just then more and more cackling voices surrounded the room as it filled with more and more hideous looking goblins. “You’ll NEVER get out! You will remain here until you DIE!!” they chanted. They changed the same thing again and again as they crept loser to me. And closer. And closer. Just as they were about to sink their teeth into me, I passed out. And then I woke up, in my normal bed, in my normal home, no monsters, no goblins.

I kept the nightmare to myself because I’d just be told I ate too much sugar or I watched too many scary movies. Then I remembered all the real life times I was forced to do the many things I didn’t like all throughout my childhood, and some even as an adult. I realized it was a reminder that what I’ve had to go through is not normal. It was having my boundaries crossed. It was the one of the main reasons I moved out.

The nightmare, the part where the face was torn off reminded me of Roald Dahl’s The Witches. I felt as if I was secretly surrounded by monsters pretending to be human. I looked at myself in the mirror, what if I’M the monster? What if I was afraid of myself my entire life? I still wonder.
 
That sounds like a pretty terrible dream. It’s remarkable how many details you remembered and were able to write down - I imagine that it was very intense and vivid for you. Nightmares are the worst.
 
That sounds like a pretty terrible dream. It’s remarkable how many details you remembered and were able to write down - I imagine that it was very intense and vivid for you. Nightmares are the worst.
Not all my dreams I can put down in great detail. Just a few of them to be honest.
 
In sixth grade, my school decided to have a dance festival. The sixth grade were going to square dance. Consequently, for the month prior to the festival, our physical education classes were square dance practice. Participation was mandatory. I have always been touch averse and dyspraxic, but of course I didn't know how to explain that since I was undiagnosed at the time.
So I was supposed to hold several people's hands, move in coordination with the music, and keep track of the different moves. Add to that the visual confusion of seeing all the movement around me. It was torture. I begged my teacher to excuse me from dancing, but she only told me to get over it and stop moving like a robot. I dissociated from the whole thing, and went through the motions as best I could.
I was in absolute dread of the public festival. On top of just DOING the dancing, people were going to WATCH me, and I had no way out! Two days before the festival, I came down with a high fever. The doctor said it was flu. He was surprised, because flu wasn't going around just then.
My teacher doubted my convenient sickness and actually visited me to see if I really was sick. My mother assured her I had the fever and flu symptoms.
I was able to miss the festival, and thanked God greatly for the miraculous timing!
 
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The military had some weird social customs and expectations not only of officers, but also at times their dependents. Particularly for graduates of the three major service academies (West Point, the Naval Academy and the Air Force Academy).

As a child I had to attend countless events which had no meaning to me, but apparently I simply had to show within my peer group to represent my father. Made no sense to me then, and it still makes no sense to me now. However back then in the 60s, I had my orders. When. I had to comply without question or complaint.

Having to attend this and that kid's birthday party where neither they or myself knew their names, let alone socialize with them. Quite stressful, while being told, "It's necessary to your daddy's career". Whatever that meant at the time. An elitist society, yet with people like my mother periodically lamenting, "We who live in genteel poverty".

Leaving me to surmise years later, "What's wrong with this picture?" :oops:
 
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My abuser forced me to do so many things because she was convinced that I had a “porn addiction” and then convinced everyone else that it was true. The worst thing she made me do besides using this horrible sex addiction workbook she made me use was forcing me to join a forum for sex addiction which is where I discovered that I actually didn’t have a problem but couldn’t tell anyone the truth as my abuser would often look over my shoulder to see what I was looking at and even read what I had said and I knew if I typed up a plea for help to escape the abuse, she’d make me post a new message saying how I “lied” again like I “always do” and that my “addiction” made me tell the “lie.” And I didn’t know if anyone would believe me when I said that I didn’t actually have an addiction and was being forced to use the site and this was the only way I got to use the internet. It was awful to go through all of that for years.
 
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I was forced to go to a wedding of my ex's friends last year. It was out in the middle of nowhere and you could not get a taxi or uber and hardly any phone reception. 200 people. All communal dining tables. Screaming shouting loud music. There were supposed to be buses taking people home throughout the night - of course this did not eventuate. Was stuck there from 2pm until 1am when the bus finally came. Felt like an animal in a trap and wanted to gnaw off my own leg but could not get away. No quiet spaces to go as it was freezing cold and raining and the only covered space was where all the noise and people were. I had a meltdown (but quietly). My ex was not pleased with me - I did beg and plead for weeks before the wedding not to have to go but was told I had to. Then was in trouble for not acting correctly - but I said they should have at least told us there were going to be no buses from 9pm. Cannot win sometimes...
 

Did anyone ever force you to do/attend something you don’t like?

Story of my life. Literally.
 
Myself and four others found out one of our "friends" in high school at the time...was a drug dealer...because he drove us to his supplier's house in exactly the kind of places you see in movies (and you don't want to be there because it's beyond uncomfortable). My parents always did this to me in high school...urging and pestering me to go out with friends for any reason at all. I about didn't go anywhere with anyone else driving for a while after this occurrence.
 
Yep I had plenty of times where I was forced to do something I didn't want to do, because I have a controlling father who rarely took "no" for an answer.

A quick list of the things I can remember, in roughly the order they Happened.

1. I was forced to try out for Basketball in 5th-6th grade, can't remember which one, which ended up being disastrous as I didn't survive the initial try outs because they had us running drills and I just couldn't keep up, I wound up climbing onto the stage that our gym had at one end of it and hid behind a curtain and crief. I swore off sports from that day forward.
2. Was initially forced to be an honors student, despite my protests as I knew I wasn't cut out for it. But ofc once I ultimately "flunked out of" honors the blame was pinned on me for "being lazy" and "not applying myself enough" when I simply wasn't cut out for it like I told my father in the first place.
3. Was forced to play the Alto Saxophone in middle school band, despite me wanting to play the mini tuba because "Tubas are dorky, saxophones are cool! So you'll learn to play a saxophone!" And my father wonders why I quickly lost interest in it?
3. Was forced to ask a girl out to the Middle School dance and go to it with her, that was a horribly awkward experience and iirc I mostly kept to myself during it waiting for it to all be over.
4. Was much later forced to ask a girl I "liked" out on a date and go on it with her, when she said she just wanted to be friends at the end of it I was completely fine with that because it was my father who pushed me to do it. He's one of those "Oh my child is expressing an interest in members of the opposite sex? They must be in love!" types of parent, when I most likely just saw her as a friend the whole time.
5. Much, much later, like after I became an adult, my father forced me to stay behind at the table after we finished breakfast as we had gone out to eat together and "ask the nice young waitress for her number and see if she wants to hang out with you sometime". While I did stay behind for a little bit, I didn't talk to her because that's just awkward as heck and I wasn't interested in her. I don't know why my father is so pushy on my love life or supposed lack of one, it's super annoying. x.x
 
5. Much, much later, like after I became an adult, my father forced me to stay behind at the table after we finished breakfast as we had gone out to eat together and "ask the nice young waitress for her number and see if she wants to hang out with you sometime". While I did stay behind for a little bit, I didn't talk to her because that's just awkward as heck and I wasn't interested in her. I don't know why my father is so pushy on my love life or supposed lack of one, it's super annoying. x.x
I was a 1st Lieutenant in the Air Force when my father insisted I take a singe lady out to dinner WITH MY DAD AND HER FATHER! I was able to gather enough information at the dinner, despite our dads sitting at the table, to see we had absolutely no interests in common, and her career plans were very incompatible with mine. On the way home, my dad asked me what my thoughts were, and I said the above. He asked what that told me. I strongly resisted a sarcastic reply and simply said we would not be a good match, to which he just nodded. The fathers were friends, and after the conversation in the car, I got the impression that my dad had known we were not compatible, but had me do the dinner to satisfy his friend.
 
The fathers were friends, and after the conversation in the car, I got the impression that my dad had known we were not compatible, but had me do the dinner to satisfy his friend.
Hmm..
That certainly could've been the case, and your father's friend also could've been trying to find someone for his daughter. But that's just a guess, huge emphasis on guess, based on what little info you gave.

Nice to know I'm not alone in having that sorta experience though.
 
Many times. We can't expect everything to go our way, but we shouldn't expect nothing to go our way as long as what we ask for is reasonable. What is "reasonable" for people varies.
 
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