Diagnosed later in life - female

[louloulovesdogs]

Hi guys, I'm new. I've been seeking an official diagnosis, had first of 3 sessions yesterday. I feel like I didn't do very well though, like I didn't get my symptoms across because I rambled too much.

I wanted to know about other people, females, who have had a strong self diagnosis and sought an official diagnosis? I just want to know your experience so below is about me and my traits any input on your experience would be great.

23, live alone with partner, full time employment, college grad.

sensory:
-very sensitive to light (need sunglasses, things are too bright for me when they're not for others)
-figeting- always moving, biting nails, got in trouble when I was young for not sitting properly or rocking back in my chair
-love textures, feeling everything
-love thrill seeking and danger
-like having headphones in with no sound
-quite picky about how my clothes fit, don't like tags, certain fabrics, or anything tight --- when I was young I would only wear the same brand and same shirt etc in different colors and things that felt soft to others were literally painfully uncomfortable to me
-was told i had selective hearing when I was kid

social:
-I don't dislike social situations but they are a lot for me to handle and I don't like to be social all the time. When I am, i prefer it to be far in advance planned and I know exactly what I am doing. I don't really like meeting new people EXCEPT when everyone is new (like freshman year of college, job training class, etc) because we are all on the level playing field
- I have close friends, not a ton, but i feel like I used to be good at making friends when I was little but I'm not now and my close friends always seem to have closer friends (i'm not my best friend's best friend)
-always very blunt, say things nobody else would say, people point this stuff out but in a positive but you're still weird kind of way, i've just kind of owned it.
-if in social situations if people don't talk to me i will quite literally stand next to everyone not looking at anyone or talking to anyone
-morph my appearance or social traits to the people i'm with, did this more when I was a kid, now i just know who i like and I don't care if others don't like me.

special interests:
-as a child i went through many periods of various collections
-current special interest would be dogs

other mental health things:
-struggled with anorexia (recovered and now sort of struggle with a bit of binge eating)
- diagnosed with anxiety NOS (leaned towards social anxiety but didn't really fit entirely)

other things:
-struggle with not being able to identify my thoughts and emotions
-enjoy arts, music, performing arts, sports, exercise
-Extreme attachments to objects
-not emotional in general, highly logical and get annoyed when people don't understand that
-very intelligent
-was a tomboy when I was a kid and still not very girly
-repeat things in my head (like a line from a movie)

 

[Streetwise]

show the diagnosing therapist this post
i live in the n.e England IM an older woman and in my area we have a specialist autism team
they asked lots of questions i was shattered they told me after an hour i had mild h.f.a
its taken 45 years to tell me what i knew and had suggested years before
do you need the protection of a diagnosis ie cansay

 

[Keigan]

I agree, your post is an excellent outline - let the professional ask you for the details when in session.

 

[FreeDiver]

23, live alone with partner, full time employment, college grad.

Married, have a stable job and graduated from college? Consider yourself very lucky that were able to do all of that while still having HFA. Most of us on this site consider are selves lucky if we have just one of those things.

 

[louloulovesdogs]

Married, have a stable job and graduated from college? Consider yourself very lucky that were able to do all of that while still having HFA. Most of us on this site consider are selves lucky if we have just one of those things.

I'm not married, I have a stable job but I don't like it, and yeah I graduated college, is it really that crazy? I also don't have an official diagnosis

 

[Momo]

I never got a diagnosis when I was younger even though psychologists highly suspected it, because my father didn't want the stigma. I have been thingking about being officially diagnosed, even if only to explain to people why I can't handle people touching me and so on.

 

[louloulovesdogs]

I never got a diagnosis when I was younger even though psychologists highly suspected it, because my father didn't want the stigma. I have been thingking about being officially diagnosed, even if only to explain to people why I can't handle people touching me and so on.

why did people suspect it?

 

[Bolletje]

Welcome! Female Aspie here as well, diagnosed at 29. Living with my partner, and currently in the final months of med school.
I didn't self diagnose, my psychiatrist suggested looking into diagnosis for ASD when I was seeing her for my depression.

 

[FreeDiver]

I'm not married, I have a stable job but I don't like it, and yeah I graduated college, is it really that crazy? I also don't have an official diagnosis

Sorry! It sounded like you were married when you said "partner". Still, it sounds like to me that you accomplished a lot of lifes milestones for thinking that you're HFA. Less then 1% of the people here at AS can claim to do what you have done.

 

[louloulovesdogs]

Sorry! It sounded like you were married when you said "partner". Still, it sounds like to me that you accomplished a lot of lifes milestones for thinking that you're HFA. Less then 1% of the people here at AS can claim to do what you have done.

I think it might be more common than you think, especially for females, there are many females out there getting diagnosed much later in life after leading totally "normal lives" because our symptoms present differently. A lot of aspies are very good academically obviously, so I had no problems with the work load in college, but I didn't have many friends or anything like that. I have a boyfriend who I ended up meeting through someone else, plenty of aspies have relationships, even those who aren't classified as "high functioning". And I have a job that requires little face to face interaction, so it's not difficult for me. But I don't enjoy it and I want a more creative job and I'm exhausted every day from having to be around people all day.

 

[Katleya]

Welcome, Loulou!
As others have said, your post can help during your assessment. Why don't you bring a copy? Especially if you have trouble focusing, or lose your train of thought, are afraid to leave things out, and so on.

There's plenty of people here who were only diagnosed as adults. Some pursued the official diagnosis, others didn't, but that's more of a personal choice based on what your needs are. I'm sure you'll find many answers to your questions here... as well as matter for further questions for your assessment

Oh, about me: 33, years of psychiatry wandering even after I self-diagnosed (and I did bring this up with psychiatrists, but they were not interested in digging deeper), and eventually officially diagnosed quite recently.

 

[Ambi]

I think it might be more common than you think, especially for females, there are many females out there getting diagnosed much later in life after leading totally "normal lives" because our symptoms present differently. A lot of aspies are very good academically obviously, so I had no problems with the work load in college, but I didn't have many friends or anything like that. I have a boyfriend who I ended up meeting through someone else, plenty of aspies have relationships, even those who aren't classified as "high functioning". And I have a job that requires little face to face interaction, so it's not difficult for me. But I don't enjoy it and I want a more creative job and I'm exhausted every day from having to be around people all day.

Wlecome Loulou. I am a self-diagnosed (late) female aspie. I hope your diagnosis goes smoothly. I noticed that FreeDiver was referring to the community here on this site, not aspies in general. While I agree that in particular with females, there can be many who achieve many of these milestones, but I have found during my time on this site that I am quite fortunate in what I have managed - for me, I have the education, and the marriage - but really struggle with work, I am looking right now. I love this site, very supportive and helpful and healing, and people generally really know what they're talking about.

 

[Warmheart]

Howdy! Welcome to AC.

 

[isthisreallife]

Ya, you pretty much described me. Down to wearing headphones without music, anorexia and the clothes struggle. I thought I was going to be told I don't have ASD, I felt it wasn't going well either, but it turned out my suspicions were correct, and I was officially diagnosed. I know the feeling, "If it's not this, than what the heck is going on with me!?" "Am I just a crazy, weirdo that's making a fool of herself?"
You'll be ok, take deep breaths, you're not imagining things or being silly. Welcome to the world of ASD

Hi guys, I'm new. I've been seeking an official diagnosis, had first of 3 sessions yesterday. I feel like I didn't do very well though, like I didn't get my symptoms across because I rambled too much.

I wanted to know about other people, females, who have had a strong self diagnosis and sought an official diagnosis? I just want to know your experience so below is about me and my traits any input on your experience would be great.

23, live alone with partner, full time employment, college grad.

sensory:
-very sensitive to light (need sunglasses, things are too bright for me when they're not for others)
-figeting- always moving, biting nails, got in trouble when I was young for not sitting properly or rocking back in my chair
-love textures, feeling everything
-love thrill seeking and danger
-like having headphones in with no sound
-quite picky about how my clothes fit, don't like tags, certain fabrics, or anything tight --- when I was young I would only wear the same brand and same shirt etc in different colors and things that felt soft to others were literally painfully uncomfortable to me
-was told i had selective hearing when I was kid

social:
-I don't dislike social situations but they are a lot for me to handle and I don't like to be social all the time. When I am, i prefer it to be far in advance planned and I know exactly what I am doing. I don't really like meeting new people EXCEPT when everyone is new (like freshman year of college, job training class, etc) because we are all on the level playing field
- I have close friends, not a ton, but i feel like I used to be good at making friends when I was little but I'm not now and my close friends always seem to have closer friends (i'm not my best friend's best friend)
-always very blunt, say things nobody else would say, people point this stuff out but in a positive but you're still weird kind of way, i've just kind of owned it.
-if in social situations if people don't talk to me i will quite literally stand next to everyone not looking at anyone or talking to anyone
-morph my appearance or social traits to the people i'm with, did this more when I was a kid, now i just know who i like and I don't care if others don't like me.

special interests:
-as a child i went through many periods of various collections
-current special interest would be dogs

other mental health things:
-struggled with anorexia (recovered and now sort of struggle with a bit of binge eating)
- diagnosed with anxiety NOS (leaned towards social anxiety but didn't really fit entirely)

other things:
-struggle with not being able to identify my thoughts and emotions
-enjoy arts, music, performing arts, sports, exercise
-Extreme attachments to objects
-not emotional in general, highly logical and get annoyed when people don't understand that
-very intelligent
-was a tomboy when I was a kid and still not very girly
-repeat things in my head (like a line from a movie)

Hi guys, I'm new. I've been seeking an official diagnosis, had first of 3 sessions yesterday. I feel like I didn't do very well though, like I didn't get my symptoms across because I rambled too much.

I wanted to know about other people, females, who have had a strong self diagnosis and sought an official diagnosis? I just want to know your experience so below is about me and my traits any input on your experience would be great.

23, live alone with partner, full time employment, college grad.

sensory:
-very sensitive to light (need sunglasses, things are too bright for me when they're not for others)
-figeting- always moving, biting nails, got in trouble when I was young for not sitting properly or rocking back in my chair
-love textures, feeling everything
-love thrill seeking and danger
-like having headphones in with no sound
-quite picky about how my clothes fit, don't like tags, certain fabrics, or anything tight --- when I was young I would only wear the same brand and same shirt etc in different colors and things that felt soft to others were literally painfully uncomfortable to me
-was told i had selective hearing when I was kid

social:
-I don't dislike social situations but they are a lot for me to handle and I don't like to be social all the time. When I am, i prefer it to be far in advance planned and I know exactly what I am doing. I don't really like meeting new people EXCEPT when everyone is new (like freshman year of college, job training class, etc) because we are all on the level playing field
- I have close friends, not a ton, but i feel like I used to be good at making friends when I was little but I'm not now and my close friends always seem to have closer friends (i'm not my best friend's best friend)
-always very blunt, say things nobody else would say, people point this stuff out but in a positive but you're still weird kind of way, i've just kind of owned it.
-if in social situations if people don't talk to me i will quite literally stand next to everyone not looking at anyone or talking to anyone
-morph my appearance or social traits to the people i'm with, did this more when I was a kid, now i just know who i like and I don't care if others don't like me.

special interests:
-as a child i went through many periods of various collections
-current special interest would be dogs

other mental health things:
-struggled with anorexia (recovered and now sort of struggle with a bit of binge eating)
- diagnosed with anxiety NOS (leaned towards social anxiety but didn't really fit entirely)

other things:
-struggle with not being able to identify my thoughts and emotions
-enjoy arts, music, performing arts, sports, exercise
-Extreme attachments to objects
-not emotional in general, highly logical and get annoyed when people don't understand that
-very intelligent
-was a tomboy when I was a kid and still not very girly
-repeat things in my head (like a line from a movie)

 

[ilovetochat87]

Hi guys, I'm new. I've been seeking an official diagnosis, had first of 3 sessions yesterday. I feel like I didn't do very well though, like I didn't get my symptoms across because I rambled too much.

I wanted to know about other people, females, who have had a strong self diagnosis and sought an official diagnosis? I just want to know your experience so below is about me and my traits any input on your experience would be great.

23, live alone with partner, full time employment, college grad.

sensory:
-very sensitive to light (need sunglasses, things are too bright for me when they're not for others)
-figeting- always moving, biting nails, got in trouble when I was young for not sitting properly or rocking back in my chair
-love textures, feeling everything
-love thrill seeking and danger
-like having headphones in with no sound
-quite picky about how my clothes fit, don't like tags, certain fabrics, or anything tight --- when I was young I would only wear the same brand and same shirt etc in different colors and things that felt soft to others were literally painfully uncomfortable to me
-was told i had selective hearing when I was kid

social:
-I don't dislike social situations but they are a lot for me to handle and I don't like to be social all the time. When I am, i prefer it to be far in advance planned and I know exactly what I am doing. I don't really like meeting new people EXCEPT when everyone is new (like freshman year of college, job training class, etc) because we are all on the level playing field
- I have close friends, not a ton, but i feel like I used to be good at making friends when I was little but I'm not now and my close friends always seem to have closer friends (i'm not my best friend's best friend)
-always very blunt, say things nobody else would say, people point this stuff out but in a positive but you're still weird kind of way, i've just kind of owned it.
-if in social situations if people don't talk to me i will quite literally stand next to everyone not looking at anyone or talking to anyone
-morph my appearance or social traits to the people i'm with, did this more when I was a kid, now i just know who i like and I don't care if others don't like me.

special interests:
-as a child i went through many periods of various collections
-current special interest would be dogs

other mental health things:
-struggled with anorexia (recovered and now sort of struggle with a bit of binge eating)
- diagnosed with anxiety NOS (leaned towards social anxiety but didn't really fit entirely)

other things:
-struggle with not being able to identify my thoughts and emotions
-enjoy arts, music, performing arts, sports, exercise
-Extreme attachments to objects
-not emotional in general, highly logical and get annoyed when people don't understand that
-very intelligent
-was a tomboy when I was a kid and still not very girly
-repeat things in my head (like a line from a movie)

You sound a lot like me the only thing though is in a lot of places it's hard to get disability services if that is something that you are wanting to seek if maybe you had been diagnosed later in life. It's easier to get a disability service when you're older if you've been diagnosed before or at the age of 15 or 16 and forget . I have services to like drive me around because I can't drive I have trouble focusing trouble with depth perception and of course I was denied driving by a professional who teaches driving to people with disabilities and I have trouble paying my bills because sometimes I write my checks wrong and whatnot I just have trouble with superimposing my numbers even though I'm not dyslexic or anything I just have to pay attention and I don't and I need to make sure I don't do that in my ledger which is where I keep track of all my receipts so I can look back and see how much is in my account without having to actually look at my bank account every time and things like that but they wouldn't give me services if I wasn't diagnosed at or before the age of 15 I forget if it's 15 or 16 but I got fortunate because I was diagnosed right at 15 .

You show this post where you wrote everything out and ask peoples opinions it might be easier for you because you are not talking so much and they can see more and get an idea where to test you on what skill levels and stuff . So that might make it a little easier but you might mention the talking a lot that is definitely an asperger trait and if you've ever read any of the comments I post on people's posts I talk a lot it's an ass Burger trick you can't get around it but you need to let them know that alone in itself says asperger all over it. no autism on the other hand usually doesn't talk at allbut mehave very limited words buta high functioning autism or Asperger's which is the more appropriate term, talks a lot you might say that to her or him and let him know but I would definitely do whats been mentioned before show this post because the traits you posted are fantastic they are very obviously aspergers.

 

[Dina Hornreich]

I'm 42, and female. I am self-diagnosed. Still working on a proper medical diagnosis so I can think about going on disability. Employment seems impossible now. I have built a massive collection of film and books on Aspergers stuff. I just had to have all these things that explain the mysteries of life. I'm serious. It's like unlocking all the things I didn't know about myself. The list is WAY too long. I fluctuate between relief and depression. When I read books on Aspie stuff, I think back on my life and get thoroughly and utterly depressed. I spent the last 42 years not truly knowing why I have a knack for unintentionally pissing people off and losing important friends, family, and careers. I also had no idea that I was gifted until I got a second masters degree at age 35. I actually thought I was stupid because I couldn't master simple things. I AM a master at playing the game of academia, but (once I'm in the real world) it all goes downhill. Nobody like critical thinking and problem solving in the real world. Feelings get hurt and I'm the bad guy for pointing out what I thought was obvious. Does anyone else have an autoimmune disorder? Mine is severe but cosmetic. The bullying I experienced in 7th grade was so insane that I still can't believe I even finished school at all. Now I'm tired. Really, seriously tired. I've become a cynical curmudgeon. I know I'm supposed to fight for acceptance in the Neurotypical world. Most of the time, I just wish I was never born.

 

[Ambi]

I'm 42, and female. I am self-diagnosed. Still working on a proper medical diagnosis so I can think about going on disability. Employment seems impossible now. I have built a massive collection of film and books on Aspergers stuff. I just had to have all these things that explain the mysteries of life. I'm serious. It's like unlocking all the things I didn't know about myself. The list is WAY too long. I fluctuate between relief and depression. When I read books on Aspie stuff, I think back on my life and get thoroughly and utterly depressed. I spent the last 42 years not truly knowing why I have a knack for unintentionally pissing people off and losing important friends, family, and careers. I also had no idea that I was gifted until I got a second masters degree at age 35. I actually thought I was stupid because I couldn't master simple things. I AM a master at playing the game of academia, but (once I'm in the real world) it all goes downhill. Nobody like critical thinking and problem solving in the real world. Feelings get hurt and I'm the bad guy for pointing out what I thought was obvious. Does anyone else have an autoimmune disorder? Mine is severe but cosmetic. The bullying I experienced in 7th grade was so insane that I still can't believe I even finished school at all. Now I'm tired. Really, seriously tired. I've become a cynical curmudgeon. I know I'm supposed to fight for acceptance in the Neurotypical world. Most of the time, I just wish I was never born.

I relate to a lot that you've said - I'm self-diagnosed, late thirties. I was good at playing the academic game, too, but not good with real world work settings. Also unintentionally ticking people off, losing people and opportunities. Also have the stack of Aspie books to learn more about myself. I do also have an autoimmune disorder. You might like this list I found online - it's not meant to be universal or definitive, but I related to most of it:

Females with Aspergers Syndrome Checklist by Samantha Craft

 

[Streetwise]

same here

I'm 42, and female. I am self-diagnosed. Still working on a proper medical diagnosis so I can think about going on disability. Employment seems impossible now. I have built a massive collection of film and books on Aspergers stuff. I just had to have all these things that explain the mysteries of life. I'm serious. It's like unlocking all the things I didn't know about myself. The list is WAY too long. I fluctuate between relief and depression. When I read books on Aspie stuff, I think back on my life and get thoroughly and utterly depressed. I spent the last 42 years not truly knowing why I have a knack for unintentionally pissing people off and losing important friends, family, and careers. I also had no idea that I was gifted until I got a second masters degree at age 35. I actually thought I was stupid because I couldn't master simple things. I AM a master at playing the game of academia, but (once I'm in the real world) it all goes to ****. Nobody like critical thinking and problem solving in the real world. Feelings get hurt and I'm the bad guy for pointing out what I thought was obvious. Does anyone else have an autoimmune disorder? Mine is severe but cosmetic. The bullying I experienced in 7th grade was so insane that I still can't believe I even finished school at all. Now I'm tired. Really, ****ing tired. I've become a cynical curmudgeon. I know I'm supposed to fight for acceptance in the Neurotypical world. Most of the time, I just wish I was never born.

 

[WolfsRealm]

I'm 42, and female. I am self-diagnosed. Still working on a proper medical diagnosis so I can think about going on disability. Employment seems impossible now. I have built a massive collection of film and books on Aspergers stuff. I just had to have all these things that explain the mysteries of life. I'm serious. It's like unlocking all the things I didn't know about myself. The list is WAY too long. I fluctuate between relief and depression. When I read books on Aspie stuff, I think back on my life and get thoroughly and utterly depressed. I spent the last 42 years not truly knowing why I have a knack for unintentionally pissing people off and losing important friends, family, and careers. I also had no idea that I was gifted until I got a second masters degree at age 35. I actually thought I was stupid because I couldn't master simple things. I AM a master at playing the game of academia, but (once I'm in the real world) it all goes downhill. Nobody like critical thinking and problem solving in the real world. Feelings get hurt and I'm the bad guy for pointing out what I thought was obvious. Does anyone else have an autoimmune disorder? Mine is severe but cosmetic. The bullying I experienced in 7th grade was so insane that I still can't believe I even finished school at all. Now I'm tired. Really, seriously tired. I've become a cynical curmudgeon. I know I'm supposed to fight for acceptance in the Neurotypical world. Most of the time, I just wish I was never born.

Alot of what you've written I could have written about my life. I'm 48, self diagnosed Aspie at 46, medically diagnosed Aspie 6 months ago, had/have many of the social issues and depression that you wrote about. Your final sentence worries me. The one diagnosis that I've been given that was correct was Chronic Major Depression (in DSM 5 it's called Major Depressive Disorder). If you aren't already seeing a therapist I hope that you'll consider doing so. I know how hopeless I felt and therapy along with the correct antidepressant has helped me figure out how to not be quite so awkward socially. This article made a huge difference to my life, you may also find it interesting. Just remember, you aren't alone. We're here with you. The lost girls | Spectrum | Autism Research News

 

[WolfsRealm]

Hi guys, I'm new. I've been seeking an official diagnosis, had first of 3 sessions yesterday. I feel like I didn't do very well though, like I didn't get my symptoms across because I rambled too much.

I wanted to know about other people, females, who have had a strong self diagnosis and sought an official diagnosis? I just want to know your experience so below is about me and my traits any input on your experience would be great.

23, live alone with partner, full time employment, college grad.

sensory:
-very sensitive to light (need sunglasses, things are too bright for me when they're not for others)
-figeting- always moving, biting nails, got in trouble when I was young for not sitting properly or rocking back in my chair
-love textures, feeling everything
-love thrill seeking and danger
-like having headphones in with no sound
-quite picky about how my clothes fit, don't like tags, certain fabrics, or anything tight --- when I was young I would only wear the same brand and same shirt etc in different colors and things that felt soft to others were literally painfully uncomfortable to me
-was told i had selective hearing when I was kid

social:
-I don't dislike social situations but they are a lot for me to handle and I don't like to be social all the time. When I am, i prefer it to be far in advance planned and I know exactly what I am doing. I don't really like meeting new people EXCEPT when everyone is new (like freshman year of college, job training class, etc) because we are all on the level playing field
- I have close friends, not a ton, but i feel like I used to be good at making friends when I was little but I'm not now and my close friends always seem to have closer friends (i'm not my best friend's best friend)
-always very blunt, say things nobody else would say, people point this stuff out but in a positive but you're still weird kind of way, i've just kind of owned it.
-if in social situations if people don't talk to me i will quite literally stand next to everyone not looking at anyone or talking to anyone
-morph my appearance or social traits to the people i'm with, did this more when I was a kid, now i just know who i like and I don't care if others don't like me.

special interests:
-as a child i went through many periods of various collections
-current special interest would be dogs

other mental health things:
-struggled with anorexia (recovered and now sort of struggle with a bit of binge eating)
- diagnosed with anxiety NOS (leaned towards social anxiety but didn't really fit entirely)

other things:
-struggle with not being able to identify my thoughts and emotions
-enjoy arts, music, performing arts, sports, exercise
-Extreme attachments to objects
-not emotional in general, highly logical and get annoyed when people don't understand that
-very intelligent
-was a tomboy when I was a kid and still not very girly
-repeat things in my head (like a line from a movie)

This article made a huge difference in my life. None of my therapists or psychiatrists felt that I had aspergers despite my descriptions of the issues I've had my entire life. They always said that they "didn't see it". I found this article then spent the night following links and reading all of the articles I could find that validated my diagnosis.
I recommend bringing a printout of your post and a printout of this article to your next aappointment. That's basically what I did. LOL Every therapist and psychiatrist that I showed this too changed their minds and agree that I was trying to tell them the correct diagnosis.
The lost girls | Spectrum | Autism Research News