Depression compared with other young people

[Frostee]

Just looking on Facebook is a whirlwind of depression that serves to make me feel more insecure and inferior to people my age. They seem to have this confidence and don’t seem to come against any real difficulties in life.

Me on the other hand, my life is a constant struggle. Everyday is a hassle, something always goes wrong.

At the moment I am struggling with the stress of having an important job event and also studying for exams/doing coursework. It’s a lot of pressure.

All I see on FB is constant happiness and enjoyment. This is not happening in my life.

These people are constantly travelling, they only have £20K jobs, so not rich. I don’t know where they are getting money from. My plans this summer are America and Portugal, I can’t afford the monthly or bi monthly holidays to far flung exotic locations that these young people go on.

The job opening coming up has higher than UK salary which is fine but I still won’t have the time or money to go on holidays to the Philippines, Sri Lanka, australia etc all in a few months.

Yet most people in my town seem to be going on these exotic holidays year round, which is just an ordinary town.

Just feeling super depressed. My life is a constant up hill battle. None of these people know this nor do they appreciate how easy or stress free their “perfect” lives are.

It’s hard not to give up when up against people like this.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

The first thing to remember is that most people only post the happiest parts of their lives on facebook. Just because they seem happy online doesn't mean they really are, it just means that they want to seem happy. It's been shown multiple times that people often feel worse about themselves after looking at facebook because they are comparing their actual lives to the image that other people are trying to project. In reality, all of these people have more problems than they are letting you see, although some do have fewer problems than others.

As for going on a lot of trips when they don't make much money, maybe their parents are paying for the trips or maybe they are going into debt to do it. They may have enough time to travel because they don't take school or work very seriously like you are. That can be fun for now but won't help them in the long term. It might also seem like everyone is going on a lot of trips because you're seeing the rare trips of many people or because just a few people go on a lot of trips but they talk about it so much that it seems like everyone is doing it. Also remember that number of vacations is not a valid measure of success in life. Some people who travel a lot are miserable and some people who never travel are very happy.

The life you describe yourself having sounds like a much more normal and realistic life than the ones you describe them having. There's not a person alive with no problems, just people who don't tell others about their problems and people who don't yet realize they have problems. Just stick to working on building the life you want and let them go on pretending that everything is fine. Don't hold yourself to the standard of the imaginary perfect lives that some people pretend to have.

 

[Jojo_LB]

"It's hard not to give up when up against people like this." Do you see life as a competition with others?

The great majority of people on FB only show the good stuff. Of course, anyone can post anything they want on their pages, but I personally find it silly and boring when I see people who appear to be always positive, optimistic, or announcing good news all the time. It's not that I want what they have, I just don't care to see people painting unrealistic pictures of the human experience. That's just me though. Thankfully on FB you can do some adjustments so you can filter out what you don't want to see. Maybe you can try muting/unfollowing the ones who annoy you. That helped me a little bit when I was sick of seeing the same people gushing about the littlest crap they thought was so fantastic but no one else really cared except them and their own families. Or I'd just scroll on by to find more interesting things.

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time and feel like everything is going wrong, but why think about how you don't have what others have? Is what you want "constant traveling and happiness and enjoyment?" I'm older than you are, so believe me when I say that no one is living life that fabulous.

 

[tlc]

Traveling is often stressful. Rarely do things go perfectly. Things get lost, flights get rescheduled or canceled, car problems, traffic problems, people get sick (which happens often when going to a foreign land). Meanwhile you have to make sure things are going to be fine at home. I work with a lot of people who travel. I told the company I'm not doing it.

Is there any chance that these regular vacations you are seeing are really for work, but they just make it into a family vacation since they are going anyway?

Either that, or there's a good chance they have second mortgages and multiple credit cards maxed out, or owe other people money.

I don't know about these days, but when I was a kid it was called keeping up with the joneses. On the outside, the neighbors projected a successful happy perfect life, and you wanted it. But you didn't see all the turmoil that really went on behind closed doors.

I bet there are many people who envy you, who would like to have a simpler life.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Similar feeling except I don't use facebook and I feel jealous of adults specifically and I'm a teen.

 

[Progster]

I would focus more on who you are, your assets, what you are doing in life, rather than what other people are doing. You are your own person with your own attributes and circumstances, and it isn't helpful or useful to compare yourself to others, especially on a site like Facebook where people are projecting their public persona and not their real selves, so you get this false reality of how wonderful everything is, when actually life is not like that, not for anyone.

 

[Gracey]

All I see on FB is constant happiness and enjoyment.

Not many advertise misery and poverty.
(Unless soliciting sympathy)

You’re judging yourself based on comparisons with those who don’t have to work as hard as you to keep what you have.
That’s an unfair judgement (on yourself)

If they had to try as hard as you do,
Do you imagine they would be as successful as you ?

A monthly or bi monthly holiday isn’t a ‘strength’
Just window dressing. A bit like Facebook.

 

[Suzanne]

Comparisons have the habit of killing the inner peace and use of internet makes it worse, because it is so easy to know what others are doing and can depress us to the extent that we want to give up. I have felt this many times, but there must be a survival instinct in me, because the feelings of worthless are so overpowering, I have to find ways to reason and one is that travel is actually dangerous! Terrorism; deadly diseases; natural disasters; economical downturn etc etc and that makes me feel happy to be in my own little world.

But also, for me, I have my faith and what I believe for the future, which gives me hope and builds me up. Oh and when it becomes a choice to be on my own, I find I deal with it much better, than being forced into being on my own.

 

[oregano]

Facebook sucks, I saw a newspaper article a couple days ago about how college students have all this anxiety and inferiority complexes because of social media. They interviewed one young woman who actually had a full nervous breakdown because she was spending hours on social media and thought that her peers had such wonderful lives and she didn't, and she pushed herself so hard in pursuit of a mirage that she snapped and spent time in a psych ward. Now she got rid of her smartphone and meditates. I don't even have a smartphone, it's one piece of technology that seems to have far more negatives than positives. I have always been an early adapter of new tech, but there's just something about smartphones that creeps me out. The internet these days seems to be all about being "social" and having loads of superficial "friendships". I remember when it wasn't like this, but the young don't.

 

[tducey]

I don't mind Facebook but be yourself, don't try to be anyone else. You're alright as you are.

 

[Fino]

Do you ever smile or laugh?

If you do, take a picture of yourself when you do and post it with the caption, "Life is good,"

and

suddenly...

you too are part of the lie.

 

[Misery]

Facebook = fake, basically.

Fake friends, fake lives... it's usually used as a sort of "booster" by most users. They post things that get positive reactions so they can feel better about themselves. If you watch closely, you can see this CONSTANTLY.

Honestly, you're best off just avoiding social media entirely. It's notorious for this... all of it. Facebook, Twitter, whatever, it is all full of this crap. Nothing but trouble. Never touch it myself.

 

[Anarkitty]

Now she got rid of her smartphone and meditates. I don't even have a smartphone, it's one piece of technology that seems to have far more negatives than positives.

I mostly agreed with your post, but I do like my smartphone. I refused to get one for many years, but when we switched services, I didn't have that option anymore, and I've come to enjoy it. And I have an app that times my meditation.

For the record, though, I don't do social media, either on my phone or on my computer. So I do understand what you mean because I know people who get a beep from their phone every time one of their "friends" farts.

Honestly, you're best off just avoiding social media entirely. It's notorious for this... all of it. Facebook, Twitter, whatever, it is all full of this crap. Nothing but trouble. Never touch it myself.

Yep. Same here.

 

[FreeDiver]

Facebook = fake, basically.

Fake friends, fake lives... it's usually used as a sort of "booster" by most users. They post things that get positive reactions so they can feel better about themselves. If you watch closely, you can see this CONSTANTLY.

Honestly, you're best off just avoiding social media entirely. It's notorious for this... all of it. Facebook, Twitter, whatever, it is all full of this crap. Nothing but trouble. Never touch it myself.

Social media is the pyramid scam of social prestige.