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Dear Diary


Well-Known Member
I suppose this diary would be so full, I kept my real feelings from paper.
With dating in the NT world, it's tricky. Maybe taking sexist remarks too literally, being confused how man supposed to be smarter but he socialised more, I grafted not just Microsoft technologies but open source too, hence always asking me how to implement this/that. Me becoming frustrated at how he'd stuff money in his wallet and not help with chores or realise I'd done overtime to ensure everything was clean, bug free. My son is self motivated, he cleans his room and homework is done without asking.
I thought thermostat was faulty on fridge, so i found willing victim to spend 2 hours trying loosen upside down bolt. Movement seemed to fix it, we no longer have 1 setting. My ex left me feeling like an alien, I didn't want to complain but now I see most issues of comparability.

This isn't alpha or beta reaction by man, it's connecting and finding common interests in converse, noticing a lot more different things. It's just understanding, when his brother calls name repeatedly I actually understand why it's annoying.

I found masking as teen to be source of most of my post-meltdowns. Main culprit trying to fit in but not really wanting to do some things, lengthy explanation why the kitchen had something broken and I was in state. Later In life masking to fit in changed to feeling pressured to do this or else...and I spent years studying working independence and look back wondering if wasted years, lonely years? I just seemed to find younger men aren't looking for conversation, and getting through first 3 months of getting to know him was more sort of him making constant moves, I felt it was disrespectful.

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