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Dealing with Irritability

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Greatshield17, Feb 15, 2021.

  1. Greatshield17

    Greatshield17 Catholic Nerd V.I.P Member

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    I’ve made improvements with my anger issues, but now I’m struggling with a more subtle form of it, namely irritability.

    In regards to angry thoughts and the like I now rarely struggle with them, they do occur sometimes but rarely; I do however, have these moments where I’m put in an irritable mood and I’ll be prone to think and/or act out in an angry fashion where I wouldn’t otherwise. Additionally, I also know that irritability and anger general is simply unhealthy to be in such a mood regardless.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?
     
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  2. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    I've always been extremely irritable, and the best thing I've found for it is distraction.

    Either I force myself to go engage with one of my hobbies, or I go to Youtube and pick something hilarious to watch. There are certain videos where I just cant be in a bad mood after finishing them.
     
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  3. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

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    I have issues with irritability and used to have anger issues as a kid. The only way I know how to deal with being in one of those irritable moods is to try to limit my conversations with other people and to distract myself with something I like that wont irritate me more, like cartoons or certain video games. I hate being in those moods though, because eventually I just get angry for no reason since it's hard for me to ignore emotions like that.
     
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  4. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    Sometimes I just recognize "okay I'm grumpy today" or "I'm irritable today" even if it seems like it's for no reason, and try to practice more self-compassion that day, or in those moments, and try to find something soothing, if I'm not with other people, or doing something necessary. If I have to interact with people, and I'm in an irritable mood, then I just try to 'curb my tongue', and be present, but not necessarily too interactive. If it's in a safe environment, I might let the other person I'm interacting with that I'm having a difficult day or am in a difficult mood etc. so that they know if I accidently snap at them, or vent or something, it's not their fault, it's just me.

    If I can find the cause of what set me off, that can help too. Even if it's just to recognize why it's happening. (again, the self compassion thing comes in here. Recognizing that we're all going to have those moments, and those days, and not to be too hard on myself about them.)

    I think the biggest thing might be to recognize the difference between feeling an emotion, and acting on it. If you can 'reign yourself in' in terms of behaviour, then you're okay. Catching an impulse before it finds it's way out of your body is probably a good thing. It takes practice, but can be done. (having the impulse is fine, acting on it, may be another matter, depending on the impulse.)

    I think I'm repeating myself now, so I'll stop.
     
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  5. Greatshield17

    Greatshield17 Catholic Nerd V.I.P Member

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    Thanks everyone, I guess I should work on finding more things that make me happy. I do have a few things both, online and in my memory and imagination, I should work on those things more, and find more like them.
     
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  6. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    Hmm... this is evolving into a list of suggestions. Feel free to ignore any or all if it doesn't suit you.
    Music is my favourite emotional regulation strategy. Certain tv shows also help me a lot. (although these days it's more difficult as so many want to make you think, and I just don't have the energy). Certain audiobooks (due the narrator - actresses I like) too. Inspirational/motivational quotes, pictures you like, there are all sorts of options.
    Anything that comforts you can also help.
    (sorry, was going to come up with other suggestions, but got distracted by RoadRunner cartoons I put on 'cause there was nothing on tv. :D)
     
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  7. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    Never act on them if you can help it.
     
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  8. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Pray?
     
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  9. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Unfortunately for me, my latest obsessionare Korean dramas and often, there are scenes that make my blood boil and I have shouted at the screen and even put my fists to the face on the screen, but reason that it does not make me feel any better, so pray to my Heavenly Father, Jehovah to help me control myself and it does work, but I must keep at it, because it does not take a lot to get me steaming with anger.
     
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  10. Wolfgangus Faldestolius

    Wolfgangus Faldestolius Little notes from an armchair

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    Create huge mental space and park, for the time being, everybody and everything in it, well spaced out. Then give each person and thing time to catch up with their pidgin. Then give yourself time to catch up with your pidgin.

    Another thing for me is to accept that my body feels pain. If I can't quickly go somewhere better, I just reflect that perhaps it won't destroy me in the next X minutes or hours (which doesn't contradict or deny what it's doing to me). If I don't need to be active, I find a corner to be half asleep if I'll be safe enough. If need be, I excuse myself frankly but without going on about it, and assuring people I'm confident I'll be "all right" in a short while.

    This is also where my many special interests help: I think what a marvellous life I have had and am having finding out things and developing various gifts (even if I don't have formal achievements), and that maybe unbeknownst to me, this is so for some others too.
     
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  11. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    I forgot to mention that fatigue makes emotional stability a lot harder for me. So that might be another trigger to watch out for, and when you find you're too tired to be reasonable around other people, try to remove yourself from being around other people if you can.
     
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  12. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Nobody can put you into a bad mood.
    It's our own habitual reaction to a certain stimuli.
    It's on us to change it.
    There are some great suggestions above.

    I find my patience wears thin when I'm tired. Easily irritated.
    Really look after yourself.
    Rest often. Try not to over-do things you know will zap your energy.
     
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  13. Greatshield17

    Greatshield17 Catholic Nerd V.I.P Member

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    Sleep has been something I’ve been trying to work on, I used to have a fairly good habit of going to bed early and be able to wake-up early and well-rested. Then this whole covid-thing happened and messed everything up.

    I need to find away to have better routine that gets me well-rested.
     
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  14. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    And given the propensity for those on the spectrum to have sleep disorders at the best of time... Last stat I heard was 80% of us.
     
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  15. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Is why resting throughout the day is important.

    Not necessarily napping or catching forty winks but time to yourself. Five and ten minute breaks relaxing/change of pace and scenery.
    Music, mindfulness, walking, breathing exercises, whatever does it for you.
    Rest often.
     
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  16. WolfSpirit

    WolfSpirit Not a dictionary. Or a search engine

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    And recharging. As I keep discovering, resting and recharging are two different things. :rolleyes:;). I've been doing fine on the resting, not so well on the recharging for the last year+
     
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