Hi, thanks for your reply.
I have now logged in to the site and he has banned me for one month. I cannot get access to the site to send another forum moderator a message.
I just feel put out about this. I don't feel that I've done anything particularly offensive? And as a Northern Irish person I am offended at his lack of initiative in dealing with the comment.
In fact, I almost feel that I want to take this elsewhere to complain about it, because the comment is THAT offensive.
If anything i'm more concerned, at his ability to harass me and get away with it. Particularly given his comment below.
I mean it is clear that this moderator is harassing me without any repercussions.
What do you suggest I do? Particularly to not allow this to get to me mentally.
There's a couple of options you have here.
1. Create a second account. Essentially, this account is not meant for full use... it is meant to break the ban. Log in and use this account to make contact with the higher-ups, and start a dialogue with them about this. Explain why you made the account (because they're gonna want to know) and give them the original account name. Explain the EXACT situation to them, including showing them the previous messages and all that. If you find that you still cannot log in or have been given a stronger ban that prevents even the creation of a new account with a new email.... use Tor. I dont normally suggest using Tor, but it serves a useful purpose on the rare occaision that this situation pops up. Tor is easy to find and download. Be aware that when I say "create a second account" I also mean "use a second email address" because it's guaranteed that your first one wont be able to create another account. If your attempt at creating a second account is foiled and Tor is required, you'll need a THIRD email. Yes, this is a pain in the butt. But as I've found over many years of internet use, if you're dealing with alot of sites that require accounts of any sort, sooner or later, you're gonna need more email addresses, usually for bloody stupid reasons.
2. Do you have any friends that use that forum? If so, you can ask them to get in contact with the management in your place, and basically get in the admin's face about the problem and what they're going to do about it. In other words, they can be the dissatisfied angry customer for you. But you have to make sure it's someone you trust, and make sure they know exactly what's going on... show them all the messages and such that have been involved. I've actually had this one happen before. On Wrong Planet, someone I know was banned for a deeply stupid reason, and after he showed me what happened, I quickly noticed that he hadnt ACTUALLY broken any rules. I simply ranted at mods (the ones that I didnt consider to be problematic) until the ban was lifted (and the mod who had done it was indeed in a bit of trouble).
Go into the whole thing with confidence, and refuse to be pushed around. HOWEVER: Do not get angry at the admins. Dont swear at them or stuff like that. Treat this as you would a difficult business transaction: something that's tough to do, but you have to remain a true professional, with the attitude to match. If you screw up this particular part of this, you WILL fail. That is guaranteed.
Even if you do everything right though, there is no guarantee this will work. People are unpredictable, after all. And sometimes you get admins and such that do have good intentions, but arent as in control as they should be, or arent very assertive with their management skills. WP had this issue, actually.
Now as for the mental / emotional stuff... honestly, this is the internet. There is no escaping this sort of idiocy. When people are anonymous, they're more likely to show their true nature, and too often, that nature is that of an aggressive, territorial jerk. Someone that might be seemingly polite and nice in person can turn into a raging troll online... it's the nature of the beast. If you spend alot of time online, it's inevitable that you'll run into these situations, and it's important to understand that they WILL happen, regardless of your own actions sometimes. It's simply how it is. If you want a fantastic example, go check out some comments sections on either Youtube, or Yahoo's news articles. Watch in horror as people drop the mask and act as their true selves. It's hideous.
In other words... expect idiotic chaos from total jerks at times. And from other random things. Not every site or forum will be good, not every admin will be benevolent. You cant go into new places just expecting that things will work simply because they are supposed to... that's the wrong way to look at it. And you also have to understand that even places that start out good, can become corrupted. Not just by jerks, sometimes sites just outright break even... there are many ways things can go wrong.
And understand, alot of it is just out of your control. You cant win every battle, and you dont have to. There's no reason to beat yourself up. There's also no reason to feel that you MUST stick to a certain place. It's absolutely okay to step back and say "I'm done with this place". There is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, it's the correct choice.
Also, the internet is HUGE. One site or forum turns out bad? There's 5 bazillion others to try. You're not going to "run out" of places to go, so that's not a concern.
And lastly, remember... some people really are genuine trolls, screwing with others because they get a laugh out of it. Even mods can be trolls. If you let yourself get all angry and bothered by an altercation with such a person... that's a victory for them. Dont give them that satisfaction, no matter how offensive they may be. This one is probably the most difficult lesson to learn, as the internet goes. But it's also by far the most important.
