Dating apps

[Rocco]

I am single again after over 15 years and decided to try my luck with a dating app.
It was quite a culture shock to see profiles, qualification lists, and learn to navigate the electronic roulette that is a dating app.


I am getting to know my self again after such a long marriage, and trying to figure out what I want. I have minimal interest in casual sex anymore and don’t know if I want another dedicated long term relationship or if I want to just stay single.

Today ends my second week of swiping left or right and I find myself dating and talking to several new women which has been a fabulous morale boost. But I also am trying to figure out how to make a schedule work to allow for personal down time, work, and dating. Also trying to figure out what qualities and characteristics I am most attracted to.

What are your experiences with dating apps and opinions? Any advice or code word glossary or...?

 

[Schism]

Yes. The filling-in of details is intense. I finally managed it after realising I had left so many areas blank. Not intuitive I feel.

Then I swiped 'Nope' through the entire UK.
Got repeated messages "There is no-one you match with right now, try again later"

 

[Butterfly88]

I haven't had much luck with dating apps. In my experience, most people didn't have much info on their profiles and for me, I want to know more about someone than just what they look like. Overall I'm not a fan of online dating.

 

[Fact Ten]

No dating app!!!! Those are just for Hos and Ho Connoisseurs.

I think that's an unfair generalization. There may be dating apps that have more of a bent towards hookup culture and there may be a significant bloc of users who gravitate towards that culture but it's no different than real life. There's people that just want something for the night, people that want something for a few months, and people who want something that lasts years if not a lifetime.

On a lighter note, you missed out on an opportunity for the classic gardening pun.

Yes. The filling-in of details is intense. I finally managed it after realising I had left so many areas blank. Not intuitive I feel.

Then I swiped 'Nope' through the entire UK.
Got repeated messages "There is no-one you match with right now, try again later"

I had a good laugh from this as it happens to me a lot. I swipe left on almost everybody and then have to wait a few hours. I've been trying to limit it to people in cities that I can get to with public transit and state an openness to dating people who are only in school (as a lot of folks who are interested in relationships understandably want people who are working full time).

@Rocco How do you feel about Bumble now that it's been a week since this post?

 

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

Hi. I've tried 3 different dating apps. I know several people including my manager who has found a husband through these apps...so they DO work.
I'm not having a lot of luck. It seems that most guys on these sites don't have much to offer. Sketchy employment, just sit around their apartment bored, no hobbies, etc. Most guys also just message 4EVER without having the guts to ask me out for a simple coffee.
I'm whigged out over a guy that I've been seeing for a few weeks (whigged=has made me manic LOL) because there are constant misunderstandings which I don't know if are my 'aspie' fault or a general incompatibility.
I take a break from the sites for weeks at a time to regain my balance

 

[Alexej]

I take a break ...to regain my balance

Always good to be in balance - and especially in regard to dating.

Welcome to the Forums -
BTW - love the play on words in Mindf'Elle'ness

 

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

Always good to be in balance - and especially in regard to dating.

Welcome to the Forums -
BTW - love the play on words in Mindf'Elle'ness

Thanks! A car accident and the healing afterwards had me introduced to meditation, which then lead me to mindfulness and I love the journey. I do the work, but the 'sinking in' is much tougher.

 

[Aeolienne]

I'm still getting notifications from Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel despite the lockdown. How is anyone supposed to date whilst maintaining social distancing?

 

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

I'm still getting notifications from Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel despite the lockdown. How is anyone supposed to date whilst maintaining social distancing?

I went out on a date on Sunday. We went for a walk in a park. Talk about low budget LOL. There were lots of people out because it suddenly got warm.
I personally don't care about social distancing and must be forced to do it but then things aren't so bad in Canada.

 

[Rocco]

I closed my apps weeks ago. I tried them for 1 month.
I ended up meeting someone on Hinge with an amazing amount of things in common, like a staggering amount of similarities. It has been awesome so far. Doing the shelter in place thing together

 

[tree]

I'm still getting notifications from Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel despite the lockdown. How is anyone supposed to date whilst maintaining social distancing?

Holding messages written on cardboard up to a window
Sign language
Intensive pen pal efforts (skype etc)

A Message on a Drone, a TikTok and a Socially Distant Date: Here's the Story Behind That Viral Meet-Cute

 

[superboyian]

I am single again after over 15 years and decided to try my luck with a dating app.
It was quite a culture shock to see profiles, qualification lists, and learn to navigate the electronic roulette that is a dating app.


I am getting to know my self again after such a long marriage, and trying to figure out what I want. I have minimal interest in casual sex anymore and don’t know if I want another dedicated long term relationship or if I want to just stay single.

Today ends my second week of swiping left or right and I find myself dating and talking to several new women which has been a fabulous morale boost. But I also am trying to figure out how to make a schedule work to allow for personal down time, work, and dating. Also trying to figure out what qualities and characteristics I am most attracted to.

What are your experiences with dating apps and opinions? Any advice or code word glossary or...?

My question is how long did you give yourself to be able to heal before trying to use a dating site?
Ideally, it would have been better to give yourself some time to be able to recover from such a long relationship and to be able to focus on the things that you haven't been able to fully do. Within time, you be able to heal and have a much clearer idea if you want another dedicated long term or you want to remain single?

As for dating sites for me, it's a big no no as I have had one very bad experience with it.
If you do happen to find someone your dating, make sure the person isn't using you for money as I have figured out the hard way. From that day, I've never wanted to ever use or meet anyone through this ever again.

 

[Giraffes]

I had negative experiences on dating Apps, men that were different physically to their profile and those that wanted casual sex, the fun bit was the excitement that came from them chase’ i get more of a thrill from connecting with people on here LOL

 

[Rocco]

It was about 4-5 months from break up, when I started the app.

There were definitely things to learn regarding apps, like the “catfish” thing where people do not look quite like their profiles, or weigh 20-40 pounds more than photos show. Such curious habits of deception folks employ. I do not understand what they expect to accomplish like that.
The casual sex thing, wow. After a few weeks I developed the opinion that “No hookups” is code for “not until date three.” Several of the folks who said no hookups were expecting sex on the third date! Or earlier!

Lasted less than 30 days at the dating app thing, and found a great person to quarantine with. We get along well, even after a month cooped up together. I contacted most of the folks I matched with and informed them of my new relationship status. Some were pleasant about it, some bitter. I am glad the dating pressures are gone now though.

 

[superboyian]

It was about 4-5 months from break up, when I started the app.

There were definitely things to learn regarding apps, like the “catfish” thing where people do not look quite like their profiles, or weigh 20-40 pounds more than photos show. Such curious habits of deception folks employ. I do not understand what they expect to accomplish like that.
The casual sex thing, wow. After a few weeks I developed the opinion that “No hookups” is code for “not until date three.” Several of the folks who said no hookups were expecting sex on the third date! Or earlier!

Lasted less than 30 days at the dating app thing, and found a great person to quarantine with. We get along well, even after a month cooped up together. I contacted most of the folks I matched with and informed them of my new relationship status. Some were pleasant about it, some bitter. I am glad the dating pressures are gone now though.

The whole "catfish" thing is more or less a confidence issue or someone having a motive for whatever reason. You can't accomplish anything like that which is one thing I totally agree with.

Would have taken me far longer than 4-5 months to get over a break up like this. But as long as it worked out for you then that's fantastic.

The ones that are bitter are normally the ones that are most broken or they actually may have had an attraction to you based on the dates/conversations you had.

As in quarantine with, are you referring to staying in the same room as or somebody to talk to while you are in quarantine?

 

[Rocco]

Like staying together 24 hours 5 days per week