curious if any1 else here deals with agoraphobia?

[spitz]

(anxiety about going outside/crowds etc) 1 of my irls off hand mentioned how he believed that agoraphobia could b more common for those on the spectrum & was curious 2 know if anyone had thoughts/ experiences ab this? i feel like it makes sense but im having trouble putting words together to explain it!
new here so i apologise if i missed a recent thread ab this!

 

[DaisyRose]

I have anxiety with going outside and trying to be social. I get extremely anxious when I try new things. Lately, I’ve been really struggling with boredom and depression. I have not gone outside and socialize with society since before covid. I’m trying to look for a job so it can at least help me get out of the house. It’s been hard and making me feel hopeless while losing my motivation.

I’m trying to motivate myself by ignoring and my anxiety and going for it. I don’t like it whe my anxiety has control over my life. I do the best I can by talking myself down and using my voice. I agree it is common to experience it more often when you are on the spectrum. It is hard to explain what it feels like and how it can affect someone. It’s hard to push yourself to go out when you have the negative thoughts lingering around.

 

[spitz]

I have anxiety with going outside and trying to be social. I get extremely anxious when I try new things. Lately, I’ve been really struggling with boredom and depression. I have not gone outside and socialize with society since before covid. I’m trying to look for a job so it can at least help me get out of the house. It’s been hard and making me feel hopeless while losing my motivation.

I’m trying to motivate myself by ignoring and my anxiety and going for it. I don’t like it whe my anxiety has control over my life. I do the best I can by talking myself down and using my voice. I agree it is common to experience it more often when you are on the spectrum. It is hard to explain what it feels like and how it can affect someone. It’s hard to push yourself to go out when you have the negative thoughts lingering around.

i think i understand what you are saying with the connection to the spectrum! sadly it seems like a symptom that can come from our experience.

I definitely relate to the covid part, it has made my & one other i know's agoraphobia so much worse- depression is a big factor that holds me back too, you're not alone <3. getting a job sounds like a great way to find reason to go out & have structure that can make you feel secure, im starting a new school soon so hopefully that can help in the same way! if u have any hobbies u could try plan in advance some days to go out and participate in them it could help with some boredom, a lot of my hobbies are indoors but im trying to figure out ways to bring the things that give me comfort at home- to outside (eg going to libraries or cafes to read, or trying to find a local group to join?) i have yet to actually put any of this into action though lol. maybe u have something similar in mind?
i apologise if some of what i said felt like a lecture.. i kind of went on and on, its just nice 2 be able 2 talk 2 someone with a similar experience & i wanted to mention some things ive thought of that could help hope u have a nice day

 

[DaisyRose]

Not at all I understand where you are coming from. Your words of advice have helped me feel better about not being alone with this type of situation. I am trying to plan a structure to be more active outside the house. A lot of my hobbies consist of being indoors too. I draw and paint most of the time while watching YouTube videos.

I like to have my routine, but sometimes it can get boring so I have to change it up. I would love to find a local group to go to in my area to talk to people or hang out. I’m trying to figure out a plan of how I can do that in my area. I like to try new things, but I always need a little push to help out. Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate it. Hope you have a great day as well!

 

[Knower of nothing]

I landed myself a nice case of it after dropping out of school. I was isolated at home for a few years and that was enough to really unfamiliarize myself with the few places I was at least sort of comfortable going to, so nothing remained. It's partially tied to the high sensitivity and overstimulation part of autism as that definitely makes it worse, but in my case the actual origin is built on layers of bad experiences.
I'm lucky to not have too many reasons or desires to go outside, but it's still a rotten time when I do. Makes things 10 times more exhausting if you spend the whole duration battling anxiety so you end up with little to no energy for any other activity for the day. Such a waste of effort sometimes if it's for little things like a walk around the block or a quick doctor check up. Doesn't exactly help with wanting to do it when you know you'll likely be too tired for the rest of the day after.
So nowadays I only really go out for things I truly care about. Like travel or important health and legal reasons. Things that are worth losing a few days for.

On a more positive note, familiarization is possible and helps a lot in reducing the amount of fear and stress. A powerful element to bring along is another person that can take the lead for situations, acting as a buffer between you and the unpredictable. If there's a routine and it's the same place you always go and to do the same things, it gets easier too (provided nothing about it is too unpleasant, be it the people or activities there).
I also often try to position myself in less fully open spaces, like corners and walls and whatnot. Closing doors, curtains or blinds to isolate a space from the rest is of course very effective too.

 

[spitz]

Your words of advice have helped me feel better about not being alone with this type of situation. I am trying to plan a structure to be more active outside the house. A lot of my hobbies consist of being indoors too. I draw and paint most of the time while watching YouTube videos.

yay!! thats great 2 hear funnily enough i am drawing while i watch youtube rn! i do this most of the time 2 hehe!

I always need a little push to help out

im totally the same! for me im gonna try ask my friends if i can go 2 their house before going out together as i find public transport totally terrifying!
wish u all the best in ur progress!

 

[spitz]

I landed myself a nice case of it after dropping out of school. I was isolated at home for a few years and that was enough to really unfamiliarize myself with the few places I was at least sort of comfortable going to, so nothing remained. It's partially tied to the high sensitivity and overstimulation part of autism as that definitely makes it worse, but in my case the actual origin is built on layers of bad experiences.
I'm lucky to not have too many reasons or desires to go outside, but it's still a rotten time when I do. Makes things 10 times more exhausting if you spend the whole duration battling anxiety so you end up with little to no energy for any other activity for the day. Such a waste of effort sometimes if it's for little things like a walk around the block or a quick doctor check up. Doesn't exactly help with wanting to do it when you know you'll likely be too tired for the rest of the day after.
So nowadays I only really go out for things I truly care about. Like travel or important health and legal reasons. Things that are worth losing a few days for.

i totally understand where ur coming from and relate to quite a lot of details myself (worse out of school, bad experiences, energy) it can really suck! good point on the high sensitivity & overstimulation 2, just another aspect that can make it that much more unpleasant than it already is. but saying that if im reading correctly ('I'm lucky to not have too many reasons or desires to go outside') im glad to hear you have found comfort within living how u do, a lot of things i enjoy i do indoors so i get you. im sorry to hear about your negative experiences, that always feels so much more amplified when you don't go out that much- and then when u do something bad happens! hang in there <3.

On a more positive note, familiarization is possible and helps a lot in reducing the amount of fear and stress. A powerful element to bring along is another person that can take the lead for situations, acting as a buffer between you and the unpredictable. If there's a routine and it's the same place you always go and to do the same things, it gets easier too (provided nothing about it is too unpleasant, be it the people or activities there).
I also often try to position myself in less fully open spaces, like corners and walls and whatnot. Closing doors, curtains or blinds to isolate a space from the rest is of course very effective too.

thank u 4 the familiarisation tip! i can see what u mean- like i was able to deal with going to school when i did it everyday. finding safer spaces in uncomfortable situations outside is something i definitely need to practice more, i tend to overthink the idea of going to a place so much i forget i can find a way to 'slip away'.
tysm 4 ur reply, nice 2 hear ur perspective. hope u have a good 1 2day!

 

[Princess Viola]

IDK if I suffer from agoraphobia because I have no issues merely going outside, but I have severe anxiety whenever I end up in a crowd. Like I always try to avoid crowds as much as I can but in situations where I can't avoid it, omg I am internally panicking, trying to ignore it as best as I can, and just trying to get out of there and back in a situation where I know 100% I'm safe and in control.

It's even worse when a crowd is interfering with my routine when I'm in a public place. It seems ridiculous, I know, but I have to go through stores in a certain order (like at Walmart, I have to go to the toy section first, then electronics, then groceries - and that's not even the order within those sections that I have to follow) and if there's a crowd and it's preventing me from doing that? Aaaaaaaaaaah. Not only am I panicking and worrying because of the crowd, I can't even go through my routine now because the crowd is there and I can't do it.

 

[Luca]

I love going outside and leaving my house and doing things. I spend more time outside than inside.

I do NOT like crowds and I have a phobia of grocery stores (which is something I post about frequently.)

Not sure if this has anything to do with agoraphobia but I don’t like being in public around strangers.

 

[spitz]

IDK if I suffer from agoraphobia because I have no issues merely going outside, but I have severe anxiety whenever I end up in a crowd. Like I always try to avoid crowds as much as I can but in situations where I can't avoid it, omg I am internally panicking, trying to ignore it as best as I can, and just trying to get out of there and back in a situation where I know 100% I'm safe and in control.

It's even worse when a crowd is interfering with my routine when I'm in a public place. It seems ridiculous, I know, but I have to go through stores in a certain order (like at Walmart, I have to go to the toy section first, then electronics, then groceries - and that's not even the order within those sections that I have to follow) and if there's a crowd and it's preventing me from doing that? Aaaaaaaaaaah. Not only am I panicking and worrying because of the crowd, I can't even go through my routine now because the crowd is there and I can't do it.

ty 4 replying i find this super interesting! control is a big thing for me too so i totally get where ur coming from. omg the last example about the crowd disrupting ur routine when ur on edge sounds doubly awful i would freak out too!!
also just wanted 2 say i love ur pfp, cute! i recognise it from when i was first scouting out this site to see what it was about before i joined!

 

[spitz]

I love going outside and leaving my house and doing things. I spend more time outside than inside.

I do NOT like crowds and I have a phobia of grocery stores (which is something I post about frequently.)

Not sure if this has anything to do with agoraphobia but I don’t like being in public around strangers.

id say it could b related in some way? regardless it is fascinating 2 see how symptoms can cross over when we have the spectrum in common (if my assumption about autism being able 2 have some overlap with agoraphobic symptoms is correct). ty for ur addition! also wanted 2 add ur signature is fun! hehe

 

[SusanLR]

It started around age 13 for me when I had a panic attack in school.
I kept trying to go back to school every day and push through it.
Then one day it was a bad attack and all I could do was leave and go home sick.

I home schooled high school and it was better when I went to university.
Crowds don't bother me. That's social anxiety and can overlap with many of us
along with agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia is feeling anxiety or having a panic attack when you go anywhere that is too far away from your safe zone.
Driving alone long distances to places I am unfamiliar with has always been an
agoraphobic experience for me.
Familiarization certainly does help, but it's always there somewhat whenever I go somewhere away from the area around my house.

 

[Knower of nothing]

Familiarization certainly does help, but it's always there somewhat whenever I go somewhere away from the area around my house.

Yeah it's never relaxing out there. At least it can make the difference between going or refusing to go at all.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Biologically, some people naturally have enlarged amygdala's (the fear centers in our brains), and others, due to several reasons will develop enlarged amygdala's due to traumatic events, irrational thoughts, cognitive difficulties, how they take in information, their physical and social environments, etc. These areas of the brain were most useful when we were "3 hairs from being a baboon" living amongst apex predators in the wild. Our brains had to be on "high alert" all the time. However, now-a-days, it tends to be more of an impediment. Fear and anxiety tends to override rational thinking, and in some cases can be debilitating enough to severely affect day-to-day living. In milder cases, it can lead to irrational thinking, not understanding context and perspective, creating and/or believing conspiracy theories, or even something as simple as having a "negative" outlook or not applying for that promotion at work. It's a difficult thing to overcome.

Our media and political leaders have learned to manipulate thoughts and behaviors through fear, as well. There's actually been a handful of studies to strongly suggest that those that have anxieties regarding change and social situations are more likely to be "conservative". So, it's no wonder that conservative political adds in the US are specifically designed to trigger anxiety and fear.

We can sit here behind a computer screen and talk about rational thinking strategies and day-to-day risk analysis as a means of overcoming something like agoraphobia, PTSD, OCD, or anything else that has an underlying fear and anxiety component. However, that's no easy task and in some cases, can take years of therapy to overcome.

As far as fear and anxieties specifically within the autistic population, the science is pretty clear that, "statistically speaking", we are more prone to this phenomenon. Brain imaging studies of autistics vs. neurotypical controls also suggest statistically larger amygdala's in autistics, especially in children, and less so with adults. Some studies suggesting that with time and development, autistics begin to rely more upon their rational thinking centers.

 

[Angular Chap]

Before I heard about autism, agoraphobia was the first thing I looked into when I started to question what was "wrong" with me. Some of it I could relate to, but just the act of going outside was fine, and going some places was fine, but not others, a short distance or a long distance, sometimes fine, sometimes not. Then I finally came to the conclusion that, no, I don't really have agoraphobia, it's the social interaction that makes me anxious, it was the constant getting lost, confused and embarrassed that led to the anxiety, not specifically agoraphobia.

But I can defiantly relate to some aspects of agoraphobia.

 

[Ella Spell]

Yes I have Agoraphobia and Scopophobia.

I don't like to leave home or go outside at all, especially in open spaces but also indoor places like shopping malls or other people's homes. It's a combination of social anxiety but also sensory fear, because I have a lot of meltdowns from misophonia, daylight-ophobia, smellophobia, and having to wear real clothes instead of my pyjamas, if I leave the sensory haven of my home. I hate bras, underwear, socks, shoes, coats, gloves, and any of the stuff people force themselves into when venturing outside. I even get headaches from hair ties. Then, I worry that the new location will have stressful sensory elements like ringing telephones, TVs and radios, or I'll have to sit on a chair somewhere. I hate chairs and usually sit on the floor, which people think is bizarre.

Eye contact and communication are also a problem because of my mutism and fear of being looked at. That's called Scopophobia. I shudder at the thought of anyone looking at me, ever. My phone and laptop cameras are covered by paper and tape. I wear dark glasses everywhere even at night. I would put a bag over my head (entire body) in public if I could. I don't like my picture taken and just the thought of anyone "seeing" me gives me panic attacks. Even if I went in a wide open field by myself and someone assured me there was no one around for miles, I would feel like I'm being stared at and be extremely self-conscious to the point of shutdown. My main reason for no eye contact is because I don't want anyone seeing ME. I have a basic curiosity about their face or eyes, but I can only look at people's faces when it's non-threatening and they won't see me (e.g., I like to look at people's photographs instead of their real selves --- even my own family.)

I had both of these feelings as long as I can remember. In my school photos I was always sticking my tongue out with a bad-mood expression because I was so horrified by the thought of cameras.

I'm glad I can stay home 24/7 now. When I do have to venture out I wait until it's pitch dark, even for mundane things like putting out the trash or walking my dog. I won't cut my grass or shovel my snow because of both Agoraphobia / Scopophobia, so I have to pay people for both services. Then when the people come to do those jobs I still hide in the house and pay them by e-transfer so I won't have to say hello. If I absolutely have to go somewhere in the day I prefer to take someone with me so I don't freak out, but that's not always possible. Hence, my extreme anxiety disorders. It's a shame because I love nature and love the outdoors but unless I can go there invisibly, I'd rather stay home and just look at pictures online.

 

[Dagan]

If I am working an event, then I am fine with crowds, but I'm also usually having a sort of barrier at the time, too. I'm in a tent with a table between myself and whomever, or I'm on a stage removed from people some. The main thing is having a focused purpose for all of the people. If I have no purpose or something to do, I start to get anxious and question the point of even being there, and I will leave.

I prefer outdoor malls to indoor ones, though. Zoos have the same feel unless way too many people. I've learned that I don't like living in neighborhoods compared to having a house with acreage. I laugh telling people that I am a quantum person because I love me some time and space.

 

[Ella Spell]

I'd rather have very crowded than just a few people. When it's just a few people I feel more on display like I have to make eye contact and conversation. Super-crowded isn't bad because it's kind of normal for people to ignore one another in crowds. Everyone blends together and seems more invisible than at a small gathering.

I love going to big, indoor concert events at stadiums. It's dark inside and you don't have to talk to anyone. The music is really loud and I can just disappear in the crowd. I wouldn't be able to do an outdoor concert particularly in the daytime, where people mill about in the sunshine drinking beer. That would be terrifying to me.

Living arrangements: I think I'd be OK in a heavily populated city like NYC where there's so many people I wouldn't stand out. I wouldn't like all the sensory overwhelm but at least I could feel inconsequential. I'd also be OK out in the middle of nowhere, but then when you go into town everyone knows who you are and says hello. There's also a lot of outdoor maintenance with rural places and that would freak me out. The worst is where I am now - a suburban fishtank with lots of busy-body neighbours who want to get in my business and judge whether I've cut my grass. It's too many people for me to feel any sort of privacy ever, but it's few enough that I can't blend into a crowd. I hate living where I do.

 

[spitz]

oh my! thank you all for your replies, i didnt expect that many people would relate! everything posted in this thread is extremely interesting to hear, great insights and points of loads of specifics i find hard to articulate to people who don't have this experience. its rlly nice 2 see so many ppl relating to something that has made me feel so isolated for so long (╥﹏╥) though i guess it makes sense as we arent rlly gonna find each other outside lol. ur all not alone! keep staying strong! <3!

As far as fear and anxieties specifically within the autistic population, the science is pretty clear that, "statistically speaking", we are more prone to this phenomenon. Brain imaging studies of autistics vs. neurotypical controls also suggest statistically larger amygdala's in autistics, especially in children, and less so with adults. Some studies suggesting that with time and development, autistics begin to rely more upon their rational thinking centers.

also extra thank u 2 neonatal RRT, ty so so much! insanely informative post, great stuff 2 know!

 

[Prometheus]

Yes, I have lots of problems. I don't like crowds, But If it's a few people, that's okay.