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Could i have Asperger's Syndrome

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by LostinThought, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. LostinThought

    LostinThought New Member

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    Hello, i'm a 41 year old male, and i don't express my thoughts very well but here goes. I have been on disability for social phobia and agoraphobia for 8 years now. I recently had to go for a case review. Those things stress me out so much because i have to leave my house. Anyway this time i had to see a psychologist and a counselor. After talking with the counselor for awhile she asked me if i had ever been tested for anything as a child, and i told her no. She told me i had several traits of a disorder not on my mental exam chart. She even went as far as telling me she was sure of a diagnosis but was not able to tell me for i was not her patient. But the more questions i answered the more she kept wanting to tell me, it was driving me crazy. Do not say you know something and not tell me, i obsess over things like that. Anyway, after talking with me and my wife for an hour and a half she told me to please look up social awkwardness and communication problems with anxiety. So I had to because i could not leave the equation unfinished. And one of the first things i found was Asperger's Syndrome, which i had never heard of. But it was a form of autism and i was like no, that's like Downs Syndrome right, maybe it was the syndrome that drew me to that conclusion. I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone with Downs Syndrome or any form of autism but i thought i was normal and people just didn't understand me. The more i researched the more i was being described. For as long as i can remember i have been shy or that's what everyone said about me."He's just shy he will grow out of it". But it's not just shyness, i truly can't have conversations. I don't know how to have small talk or when to talk, so most social interactions are just me listening to people because i don't know what to reply. Or if i say something funny people don't get it. My wife says i come off very rude to people is why, and that i'm uncaring and cold hearted. So i now avoid social interactions as much as possible. I HATE any changes in life, i have a very timed out routine of my days. When i worked i would have meltdowns if my working environment changed, like new people around me, work area was not in MY order, working shorter or longer hours, that would throw my schedule off. I don't like to be touched, my wife would always tell our children to "stay out of your father's bubble". My quirkiness has always just been me but i never felt normal, like on the outside looking in. Envious of relationships on t.v., i analyze dialog and wonder how do they do that. Loud noises get on my nerves, and i get angry quick, restaurants are unbearable for me, the music, loud people talking over the music, the utensils hitting plates is all a nightmare! I have had obsessive hobbies all my life, whenever i found something i liked it consumed me. It was baseball card collecting when i was a child, but way more than that. I had to know everything about them, every member on the team, their stats, when they were born and where. Then it went to movies and actors and video games. I can't play socially but i like MMO's, it is so euphoric to focus on doing quests a certain way to level a character to max level then delete it and do it all over again. It gives me a purpose a goal that relaxes me. After saying all of this do you think Asperger's is what the counselor was thinking i might have. It is driving me crazy not knowing. If you think i may have it, should i talk to my psychiatrist about it. Why has he never mentioned it to me( he is very old, maybe he has not encountered anyone with it). Anyway if you have stayed with my chaotic story thank you.
     
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    You can talk to your psychiatrist about it, but you're right, he may be too old to be current, and you could get told something erroneous such as "You're too high functioning to have autism."

    I think your counselor was thinking you have some sort of developmental disability (which is why she asked about testing as a child) and very likely autism. This is NOT a diagnosis, just a hunch.

    If you do, then learning more about yourself could lead to better self-esteem and better management of your environmental stressors. Good luck.
     
  3. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm an NT but have done a lot of reading on ASD and have communicated with a bunch of people on here. I'm sure she didn't mean to be unkind, but I'm sorry the counselor left you hanging - that she wouldn't share her suspicions with you. Must have been frustrating.

    Some of what you describe certainly sound like traits of people on the spectrum. I hope you keep researching and consider getting formally tested (if knowing definitively is important to you). What does your wife think about this? Does she believe you may have Asperger's? She could offer good feedback because she likely knows you very well and has observed you from a more objective place.

    Good luck on your journey of self-discovery.
     
  4. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hello and welcome. Yes a lot of what you describe sounds like high autistic traits or Aspergers, but read more about it on threads here to continue to research if it sounds right. Many adults didn't get diagnosed in the past, so it's not unusual to realise what this is, later in life.

    :cactus::palmtree::herb::leafwind::seedling:
     
  5. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    Hi LostinThought

    welcome to af.png
     
  6. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to Autism Forums!
     
  7. LostinThought

    LostinThought New Member

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    Thank you for replying. I definitely want a formal diagnosis. Researching Asperger's is all i do now, i'm reading all I can and watching videos on YouTube. Like I said I get obsessed with facts, if only the counselor had not told me that. But at the same time it's such an eye opener, as my wife and I watch videos about real people with Asperger's she's like oh my God that is you. So yes she thinks that is what I have. I must have the greatest wife ever to put up with me and my weirdness for 20 years. I know it is very hard on her at times, not only do i not have any friends but i have cost her most of her's. Even most of her family doesn't like me, i don't like people just dropping by my house. Our kids can't let their friends sleep over, because i get upset and it disrupts my routine. I'm not comfortable in my own home when people are there. I analyze my wife's friends and I'm brutally honest at times, but she has taught me a lot of what's not appropriate. I don't understand a lot of humor, my wife shows me pictures or videos and I don't find them funny. She tries to explain why it's funny but I tell her, that would not happen for whatever reason or that's not logical. The counselor asked my wife a lot of questions about me, like does he take things literal? Does he get confused in social situations? Does he have and maintain friendships easily? Can he handle changes very well? That is why i think she was thinking Asperger's Syndrome, for those are some of the traits that i keep seeing to look for, but I'm not a doctor. Well thanks again for reading and replying.
     
  8. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)