coping through art- just a WIP

[DogInClothes]

In September I learned that I was autistic. I'm 28 and thrown for a loop, but, I'm hanging in there. This piece came out through my grieving of "what could have been", trying to remind myself that...I have an answer now. I have an answer and things /can/ get easier. I can learn to grow still.

I won't lie, I feel pretty hopeless. I feel like a fraud. My last 2yrs of psych help I admit was a Poor Match, but it really broke me down and defeated me. I'm incredibly overwhelmed with the task of having to tell my entire life story to somebody new again and just...hope that they believe me (but my brain is a scramble 24/7 and I can hardly articulate my thoughts and feelings verbally. It's so hard...

I'm trying to give myself hope again, b/c I know I'm slipping. So...i'm sharing my sketch work.


Pictured is a cartoony Canine (a Borzoi/Silken windhound) holding a potted plant. The plant is a small scraggly vine with few/small leaves, tied to a support-stick to aid in it's upward growth.
The picture reads "Learning To Grow" - also some scribbled notes on the side that are irrelivant to the picture, just artist notes for me to finish the picture in the future.

 

[Mia]

I like it, you have a good eye for this. One of the things that happened when I first knew about autism, is that it was kind of a relief. It explained so much about my life. I became less hard on myself, and took more things in stride, less of a perfectionist in things I did. In fact it made me trust my abilities and intelligence much more afterwards.

 

[DogInClothes]

Thank you for the kind words, @Mia
I need to practice being kinder to myself, and more consistently, just like this. I started off strong after finding out, but my practices of taking things in stride have slipped. I also haven't been talking about the feelings that i've had building up that further encouraged this slipping.

These words to me are truly helpful, and makes me feel a little more validated in slowing myself down so that I CAN be less hard on myself, and take things in stride.
Thank you thank you <3

 

[Wolfsage]

Good artwork. It's really friendly looking.

 

[DogInClothes]

Good artwork. It's really friendly looking.

Thank you, I appreciate that! I always find animals to have a welcoming and friendly demeanor, so I'm happy I can achieve that in my work!!

 

[Wolfsage]

Thank you, I appreciate that! I always find animals to have a welcoming and friendly demeanor, so I'm happy I can achieve that in my work!!

I can relate to that. Big Sonic the hedgehog fan.

 

[Finder]

I recommend you read this site/blog: Acceptance as a Well Being Practice

I would imagine an autism diagnosis can be hard if you were not expecting it. I was relieved, but then I had a diagnosis to confirm my suspicions. But like most things, autism is not just about deficits. It brings, for example, greater visual spatial abilities, which are useful in creativity. While I was diagnosed at 56 this year, I have actually spent most of my life pursuing my own art. For me, it is a way to understand the world. And I am learning a lot about how I perceive the world is tied up in my autism.

Forgive yourself and learn about this brain you have. Think of it as a new piece of the puzzle of your life. Yes, it presents challenges and you can be better prepared to handle those challenges. But it also gives your a special way to understand the world. For me, it has actually been a source of inspiration.