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Connecting with People

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by savi83, Nov 20, 2017.

  1. savi83

    savi83 Well-Known Member

    Dec 3, 2015
    Hi everybody,

    I have always had a really small circle, which only consisted of close family relatives.

    When I was young I didn't mix with the other kids outside of school, apart from when my parents forced me to go to the birthday parties of kids in my class.

    I just preferred my own company.

    As I've grown older I have managed to make a close friend who is now my girlfriend (which I believe to be a fluke) as I don't seem to be able to connect with other people.

    I generally feel uncomfortable around people. Some issues that they feel are important, seem really silly to me. I don't seem to be able to find a middle ground with people.

    I've tried to join in conversion but I feel do fake and awkward.

    Does anyone have any tips in building relationships?
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  2. OrSomething

    OrSomething Champion Lurker

    Nov 20, 2015
    Have you tried making online friends? I find that it's easier to have conversations online.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

    Dec 6, 2016
    Be friendly ,let them talk about themselves !but not the whole time ! don't talk about what you are interested in for your part of the conversation for longer than a few minutes unless they are interested in it themselves .
    Part of being a friend is helping them if you can and if they need it.
    Do what you can do !if for instance they would like to go to a restaurant and that is too stressful for you suggest somewhere like a public park or a very small cafe .
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

    May 22, 2017
    This is how I've always been.
    I didn't have siblings or care about being friends with other kids growing up.

    Now that small circle is gone and I still don't feel connected to people.
    I can care for and find a few I even like, but, no matter who I am with there is still that empty feeling inside.
    Interacting with others still leaves me feeling alone and the relationships seem fake and shallow.

    I think Streetwise has some good points in building relationships.
    But, I don't know how to feel connected.
    And I don't know how to feel fulfilled alone either.
    It all comes back to wanting that unconditional love that can be trusted.
    And as @Sabrina said, I only found that from my parents.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1