Melo
New Member
Hi, I'm Melih, 25. English is not my native language, sorry if I mess it up. 
I haven't been diagnosed as an Aspie but I have a story to tell.
Until a few years ago, I was just unconcerned about my psychology and behaviours to others despite all of their complaints. I think it was because I used to see myself as a teenager and I don't care it at all. I had a "strange" childhood. I used to be totally off to make new friends, talking to strangers, even just saying hi to my relatives. I remember my parents were pushing me for being social, talking more and playing with other kids etc. oftenly.
When I was 5 or 6, the only things in my life were bugs and especially butterflies. I was looking for parks or places with flowers, bushes and trees anytime. I was loving being alone and spending hours, mostly whole the day, with bugs. I was collecting all types of butterflies, giving type names to them, feeding them and knowing everything about their nutrition. I was obsessed with them. I can barely remember anything else that enjoys me when I was a kid.
Things changed when I first meet with the computer. It was an amazing thing for me and I was just doing anything to own a computer. At the end of very long insistence, I had my first computer at age 8, and my life totally changed. But this time, I had a big obsession with computer. I was resisting to eating and even going to toilet in order not to lose time and spend more with the computer.
I learned English at home just by playing video games, because I was curious about games' scenarios and dialogues among characters. When people ask me how I did it now, I don't even remember the way how I learned it. It was just simple for that time. Later on, my curiosity went to softwares. I was buying video games, tampering with it, translating them to other languages or modifyng scripts, creating new maps/scenarios, or just cheating.
Then things went like that, I began developing and selling softwares at my 14-15. I've been living alone and earning since then. I've completed my education with BS at Software Engineering.
Am I happy? Yes, I am. I like myself. It didn't bother me at all. However, as much as I grow up, I began questioning myself. I can realize that people see me as "strange". I just get upset when my routines are interrupted, when meeting new people, talking to someone especially on the phone. Yes, mobile phones. It is a torture for me to talk someone on the phone or write back to him/her. People see me as a neglectful, selfish, poker-faced and totally emotionless one. I can't refuse it totally because I have no one in my life that I see my self as connected to him/her.
I am also suspicious it might be related to other disorders. I had a big anxiety and
hypochondriasis back in 2014. When I first saw the people challenging and pouring out the iced water for ALS, I was sure that I had ALS and going to die soon. I ran to a neurologist for the treatment a couple times. When I read about Aspie online, there are too many symptoms that I believe I have. I'm not sure is it really good to see a doc and be sure about it, or going on without digging it too much.
Thank you for reading this.
I haven't been diagnosed as an Aspie but I have a story to tell.Until a few years ago, I was just unconcerned about my psychology and behaviours to others despite all of their complaints. I think it was because I used to see myself as a teenager and I don't care it at all. I had a "strange" childhood. I used to be totally off to make new friends, talking to strangers, even just saying hi to my relatives. I remember my parents were pushing me for being social, talking more and playing with other kids etc. oftenly.
When I was 5 or 6, the only things in my life were bugs and especially butterflies. I was looking for parks or places with flowers, bushes and trees anytime. I was loving being alone and spending hours, mostly whole the day, with bugs. I was collecting all types of butterflies, giving type names to them, feeding them and knowing everything about their nutrition. I was obsessed with them. I can barely remember anything else that enjoys me when I was a kid.
Things changed when I first meet with the computer. It was an amazing thing for me and I was just doing anything to own a computer. At the end of very long insistence, I had my first computer at age 8, and my life totally changed. But this time, I had a big obsession with computer. I was resisting to eating and even going to toilet in order not to lose time and spend more with the computer.
I learned English at home just by playing video games, because I was curious about games' scenarios and dialogues among characters. When people ask me how I did it now, I don't even remember the way how I learned it. It was just simple for that time. Later on, my curiosity went to softwares. I was buying video games, tampering with it, translating them to other languages or modifyng scripts, creating new maps/scenarios, or just cheating.
Then things went like that, I began developing and selling softwares at my 14-15. I've been living alone and earning since then. I've completed my education with BS at Software Engineering.
Am I happy? Yes, I am. I like myself. It didn't bother me at all. However, as much as I grow up, I began questioning myself. I can realize that people see me as "strange". I just get upset when my routines are interrupted, when meeting new people, talking to someone especially on the phone. Yes, mobile phones. It is a torture for me to talk someone on the phone or write back to him/her. People see me as a neglectful, selfish, poker-faced and totally emotionless one. I can't refuse it totally because I have no one in my life that I see my self as connected to him/her.
I am also suspicious it might be related to other disorders. I had a big anxiety and
hypochondriasis back in 2014. When I first saw the people challenging and pouring out the iced water for ALS, I was sure that I had ALS and going to die soon. I ran to a neurologist for the treatment a couple times. When I read about Aspie online, there are too many symptoms that I believe I have. I'm not sure is it really good to see a doc and be sure about it, or going on without digging it too much.
Thank you for reading this.
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