comparing homelessness/Bad situations to being disabled

[Jenisautistic]

Should I feel bad for thinking like this?

Hi my grandmother offen compares my situation to people who are homeless or who grew up homeless or who came from drug addicted families and succeeded .

I told her that even though it’s horrible to grow up in those conditions. And a feel for them that doesn’t mean that I can do with they can do and I should look up to them in a way.

Like she’s comparing apples and oranges .


Have you ever had someone tell you this you’re going to story of someone going up in a bad situation or going up homeless and then say why can’t you be like them ?

Or that you should look up to them .

Even know homelessness is an extremely difficult people who go through it can be looked up to and I do admire people go through situations and terrible thing to go through having a disability is not exactly the same thing if you know what I mean .

It’s true that then it is a big obstacle .

And then I do agree that we all of her obstacles to overcome .

But that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to go to college because someone was homeless was a bad situation because people were homeless do not necessarily have a disability .

Hey someone could be disabled and homeless however it’s not often like in the case of the ones they blend in the newspaper because being home is hey someone could be disabled and homeless however it’s not often like in the case of the ones they show in newspapers .

Being homeless I have a time can be rough has also things like learning a new language I am not having English is your first language .

It doesn’t affect how your brain works .. and if it does it’s temporary I could be because of a disability also as well as That how many self sometimes homelessness is this can be temporary and you can always have problems from that.



again I’m not saying they don’t have struggles I’m just saying that there are non-comparable in the way that you can’t compare them all in general
Just like you can’t say one autistic person can be like another .

Sorry if my communication is a bit off ..


Does anyone here think I’m being ignorant?

If I am not trying to be I’m just trying to understand more in general.

What do you think of people comparing developmental disabilities to being homeless or in a bad situation ?

 

[Pats]

I agree - it's like apples and oranges. One is situational while the other is physical, psychological. The situational is changeable.

 

[H-Kath]

People become homeless for many different reasons. I think it's fair for you to say that it's not a fair comparison.

 

[Stardust Parade]

That's not a fair comparison for her to make. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that.

 

[Sarah S]

Those two comparisons are COMPLEATLY OF base and have NOTHING to do with eatchoder WHATSOEVER simple as that

& NO my friend youre NOT Ignorant ( HUG )

 

[clg114]

You are not ignorant and making these comparisons just goes to show that we are all different. Someone with your grit and determination is not likely to be homeless.

 

[oregano]

A lot of homeless people have drug addiction issues, or they don't WANT to work-as opposed to being autistic and that meaning that nobody will HIRE you even if you can do the job-and even their families have given up on them because they're lazy and addicted to some really awful stuff and keep stealing from their families to fund their "habits". That's totally different from having a serious neurological "disorder" (maybe "difference" is a better word) and thus not being able to process information in the way that "normal" people can. We are BORN with autism. The homeless are generally NT, but threw away their lives for drugs. The ones that are insane made themselves that way by taking too much dope. Homeless people are generally (there are always exceptions, but GENERALLY) largely at fault for their own situations. Autistics suffer because of innate differences between us and everybody else. @Jenisautistic, maybe you could try explaining it to your grandma like that, and see if she gets it.

 

[Fino]

I think that you should never let anyone diminish your hardships or dismiss your feelings.

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

It doesn't make any sense to compare one person's problems to another person's problems. Even when the problems and situations seem similar, there are an infinite number of differences between people. Maybe one had the opportunity to learn more coping mechanisms, maybe one has a better understanding of the effects their current actions have on the future, maybe one has access to a certain useful resource that the other doesn't, maybe one is genetically more predisposed towards certain helpful or unhelpful behaviors or learned those behaviors while growing up, maybe one has a better support network, maybe one had more problems before the current problem even started, maybe the problems aren't as similar as they seem, etc. Then when you start comparing completely different kinds of problems, such as disability and homelessness, the comparison makes even less sense. It's not a question of one being worse than the other or one being easier to overcome, and it's not a question of how the situation happened or who deserves what, or whether the problem is in the brain or the environment (the research shows that those both strongly influence each other, anyway). They're completely different problems, and you are a completely different person in a completely different situation than anyone your grandmother might compare you to.

This is why I've never liked calling anyone inspirational. What does what they've done with their life have to do with what I might do with my life? Just do the best you can to move your life closer to the life you want and don't worry about comparing yourself to anyone else. Your grandmother doesn't seem to have learned this important life lesson.

 

[Nauti]

I don't think its helpful, her making a comparison, like that.
I've been homeless and I'm on the spectrum, and one thing I will say, is that a lot of homeless people have been through, very terrible trauma and their problems are comorbidities with developmental trauma. So.most are self medicating because they actually have complex PTSD and it's not been addressed or helped in the right ways when they were needed.
I don't think it's the same thing, as being autistic, although, I can imagine, some autistic people, who are misfortunate and unlucky, can certainly experience homelessness and they/we are often extremely vulnerable to being predated on by other human's, when that happens.
That happened to me. And it was because I didn't get care by parents, when needed. I got discarded, young. So please people, be careful judging the homeless. It's not, necessarily, our fault, it can be trauma and neglect and bad treatment by parents. I am lucky I survived it, I nearly didn't a few times there. And I'm lucky I'm not completely bonkers, because I did lose my wits and my mind for a time, too.
My point is, homeless people are not necessarily just immoral or stupid people, they can just be very unfortunate, uncared for people.
So being cared about is a lucky thing to have, autistic or not.
Maybe your grandmother just wants you to "count your blessings"? Because she would like you to be happier?
Maybe, it's like, yes, it's hard being autistic, but it could be worse. You could be homeless.
Maybe she was just trying to cheer you up? Probably not the best way to, but could that be what she meant?

 

[shysnail]

It's not a good comparison at all. Being autistic is much more like having a broken leg, no?

I joke, but I do hear that one a lot, more in relation to mental health than autism (although I also hear that autism is a mental illness, apparently.) I guess comparisons help some people make sense of things, but they're usually a bit off. In this case, as has been said, homelessness is a temporary, situational state, which is ... not what autism is at all. Neurotypicals, eh?

 

[oregano]

I certainly came across as judgmental when I really wasn't trying to be. It's just that I have heard story after story after story of people trying to help homeless people only to get stuff stolen from them all the way up to being murdered. During the recession there were a lot of normal people who got their lives chewed up and became homeless, but as time went on I noticed a lot fewer of those types begging because they eventually found jobs and got off the streets.

And then there are the Travelers who are youths who hitch rides from city to city, basically drifters, and a lot of them are throwaway kids whose parents were on dope or just plain abusive and the kids eventually ran away from home to live on the streets. Some Travelers are better classified as "hobos" or itinerant workers, going from city to city doing odd jobs, but at least they do work and have some pride.

And then of course you have the veterans who had their minds chewed up in Iraq and who are still mentally living in the wars. But there is a significant chunk of homeless who have in some way chosen that life. Aid agencies talk about the "chronic homeless" who are people who stay on the streets despite all efforts to help them, and those are the ones who are on drugs or don't want to work, with some Travelers and vets mixed in.

 

[Mary Terry]

I don't think its helpful, her making a comparison, like that.
I've been homeless and I'm on the spectrum, and one thing I will say, is that a lot of homeless people have been through, very terrible trauma and their problems are comorbidities with developmental trauma. So.most are self medicating because they actually have complex PTSD and it's not been addressed or helped in the right ways when they were needed.
I don't think it's the same thing, as being autistic, although, I can imagine, some autistic people, who are misfortunate and unlucky, can certainly experience homelessness and they/we are often extremely vulnerable to being predated on by other human's, when that happens.
That happened to me. And it was because I didn't get care by parents, when needed. I got discarded, young. So please people, be careful judging the homeless. It's not, necessarily, our fault, it can be trauma and neglect and bad treatment by parents. I am lucky I survived it, I nearly didn't a few times there. And I'm lucky I'm not completely bonkers, because I did lose my wits and my mind for a time, too.
My point is, homeless people are not necessarily just immoral or stupid people, they can just be very unfortunate, uncared for people.
So being cared about is a lucky thing to have, autistic or not.
Maybe your grandmother just wants you to "count your blessings"? Because she would like you to be happier?
Maybe, it's like, yes, it's hard being autistic, but it could be worse. You could be homeless.
Maybe she was just trying to cheer you up? Probably not the best way to, but could that be what she meant?

It makes no sense to compare homelessness with autism.

I volunteer one day per week at a local charity that provides food for homeless people and poor people. I like to work the breakfast shift there cooking eggs, pancakes or biscuits, and bacon or whatever is in the pantry because people bring their children to get a decent meal for the day. I sometimes help with lunch preparation by making sandwiches for sack lunches that people can pick up but I never work the dinner shift because the charity is located in a terrible part of town full of crime and I don't feel safe there at night.

I agree that there are hundreds of reasons why people become homeless but untreated mental illness and substance abuse are common among them. A couple of years ago, there was a middle-aged man who ate there everyday and had no where to live. He literally slept on the streets, in alleys or wherever he could find as shelter. He appeared autistic and has probably never been diagnosed. The other workers at the charity noticed him, too, and we were able to find a government-subsidized one bedroom apartment for him to keep him safe and off the streets. I still see him once in awhile come in for breakfast, and he looks so much better since he got a place to live.