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Featured Christmas gatherings sometimes suck!

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by KagamineLen, Dec 24, 2019.

  1. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Gay and autistic midlife weeb.

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    Why do so many relatives have to engage in political BS non-debate superiority contests on Christmas family gatherings? Why can't people just stuff their faces full of ham and mashed potatoes and be content with that instead of trying to antagonize each other?

    Is this why God invented the Nintendo Switch? Did God invent handheld consoles just to give me an easy way out whenever this happens? I am going to pretend I am narcissistic and I am going to claim that, yes, that is the reason for that invention.

    But, seriously, these people get into these moral superiority matches, and it has me wondering why these people who pride themselves as being respectable adults are acting totally middle school here. And it happens every year.
     
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  2. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    My siblings do that - antagonize each other, knowing how strongly the other feels about a political party and so on. My brother and I used to antagonize my one sister when we were kids - she tattled all the time and so on. Anything we knew that got on her nerves we would do to her constantly. I grew up, my 64 year old brother, I guess didn't. He can't be around her without making her mad - usually over politics. I don't know why he gets so much enjoyment out of making someone else so miserable. But I don't do things with siblings any more.
    I am really glad that my kids are not like that. I know they all have different political views, which is never discussed at family get togethers. They all just enjoy the time together and I love being part of it. And I love that they respect each other and can get along regardless of differing views.
     
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  3. christopher.k

    christopher.k roosterman

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    there are a disturbing amount of children in the world who claim their adults sometimes I think it would be better if people were declared as legal adults by commites rather than by their number.
     
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  4. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Gay and autistic midlife weeb.

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    If I were the only legal adult in the Christmas household, I would slap anyone who talked politics and keep all the ham and mashed potatoes to myself, thus proving my moral superiority and mental/emotional maturity over all else around me.

    That is how it works, isn't it?
     
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  5. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    This is reason #6506923612894 as to why I dont touch politics ever and utterly refuse to participate: because this is what it does to people, while accomplishing nothing of value.

    I have family members that are HEAVILY political. It's all they freaking talk about (not directly to me though, they know I wont even respond). My mom & stepfather. The only thing it's ever "accomplished" for them is ruining relationships with a couple of other family members. *slow clapping* If, as a kid, I'd ever acted towards my brother in the way I've seen my mom act towards her brother over this crap, I'd have been grounded for a few days.

    I have Christmas today over at their house. Well, I call it that, but it actually translates to "How can I find an excuse to leave in under 30 minutes?" because that's the max amount of time I can tolerate being over there. Well, no, usually the max is about 15 minutes. But today is just so darned *special* isnt it? Bah.

    I keep thinking that one of these days I should hold an intervention for them. That's not a joke, I've actually sat down and planned out how it would be done.
     
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  6. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Gay and autistic midlife weeb.

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    You could just do what I do when political talk happens at the dinner table. While the children are busy pissing each other off, just quietly slip away and disappear into another room, where video games await and where you can prove that killing hookers in GTA is a behavior that is far more mature than antagonizing family members at the Christmas dinner table.
     
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  7. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Nah, I tend to be a bit more blatant about it than that.

    I usually just leave entirely. I figure, why not just go whole hog right from the start? And if they dont like it, well, bloody tough... maybe they should stop acting like a bunch of agitated toddlers.

    That all being said I have no intention of staying for the whole "dinner" part in the first place. 30 minutes, that's it. Better make sure my phone is charged, because that'll be 30 minutes of looking at cat memes on Imgur.
     
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  8. KagamineLen

    KagamineLen Gay and autistic midlife weeb.

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    And I would be the same way if I drove a car and did not rely on having a ride back home. Heh.
     
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  9. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Well, I try not to do get togethers at all, but when I do, my wife does all of the talking. We both know not to talk about politics or religion. Getting involved in a conversation about ether of those subjects will end up in a argument.........Sometimes football too, but that is because everyone that I know likes stupid teams.
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2019
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  10. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Just got back from 2.5 hours at my husband's family's Christmas Eve meal. Nobody was mean to me, there was laughter, but I still had to drag my husband away and we were first to leave. I don't think it would be any different if it was MY relatives. Too much people is pernicious.
     
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  11. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Typical Italien dinner, heavy cheek pinching. Dinner, wine, more dinner, wine , then family festering arguments, people getting up visibly pissed, people drinking more wine, little more shouting, more wine, people making up, more wine , people crying and telling each other how much they love them. There you have it, and zero politics, wait it's family politics. I recall many of these meals depending on what relatives were present.

    Now my family dinner is just me missing my mom's Italian side of family and great food.
     
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  12. onlything

    onlything Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Happens on my side too. Sometimes I play a diplomat and an adult trying to get everyone to get along and be nice. Other times I lack patience and focus on my phone or thoughts instead.

    I don't understand why people can't seem to ever stop fighting but I want no part in it. If they want to keep doing it, they can do it without me. I'm too tired for pointless drama.

    Edit: Still, every step feels like family politics at times. For example, a silly tradition of putting a coin under one of the plates that falls down to me most of the time and all of the 'did I get the coin, let's see how much you love me' crap around the table. It's a stupid coin, really, get a life...
     
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  13. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Well I just got back from mine. I had a plan. 30 minutes. That was the plan.

    But their scheme was far more devious. 20 minutes in, and someone handed me my grandmother's dog. There went the next 40 bloody minutes.

    myaaaa.jpg
     
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  14. lateundiagnosed

    lateundiagnosed New Member

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    happy dysfuntional christmas!
     
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  15. WhoDatLady

    WhoDatLady Member

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    Eh...I try to avoid Christmas gatherings altogether, especially if I know that there's going to be a lot of people there. I normally just end up sitting by myself because everyone else is talking about their kids and how their marriages are going, and I can't relate to any of that.
     
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  16. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I was raised with a few simple rules for dinner etiquette. One of those is to never discuss money, politics or religion. This works very well for me.
     
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  17. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I don't have any family gatherings. My relatives live far away, and my partner's relatives don't get on and don't do gatherings. My partner will go to a neighbours' house to a party in the evening, but I won't be joining him. I don't like these sit around and talk kind of parties, I find it very boring. I feel disconnected, can't join in, can't relate to the topic of conversation and very quickly get bored. Also, people listening to rubbish music from tinny laptop speakers, kids screaming (they have 4), or the TV is on, and worst of all people not going outside to smoke and showing no consideration for the others who are sharing the same air. I used to go, but hated it, always went home early.
     
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  18. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    I've organised the celebrational gathering this year.

    To quell any potential bickering and appendage measuring by way of discussion about money, status, beliefs and pack rank,

    I've devised quizzes on all manner of subjects and big points means big prizes :)

    I did think about doing something akin to The Hunger Games this Christmas but as Mr Gracey pointed out, the yard isn't big enough to hide the bodies and it would create too much mess :)

    So there will be competition at todays festivities, it's unavoidable.
    It will be competition within a framework of my making and I'm the referee, my decision is final.

    There's only one correct answer to the quiz questions but I do look forward to any debate created around alternative, supposedly correct answers :)

    Good Luck to all at your family gatherings, should your presence be compulsory,
    It's only one day out of 365. You've got this :)
     
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  19. christopher.k

    christopher.k roosterman

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    its been a real odd morning with my mother and grandfather being passive-aggressive towards each other before they banished and the trees been totally untouched after he was the only one making a fuss out of it
    so i guess its back to being a hermit until they turn up again.
     
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  20. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I’m having dinner with the family tonight. Instead of engaging in the standard pre-dinner chitchat we’ve decided to shake things up a little, so the family will be divided into teams and I will play quizmaster with a general knowledge quiz I’ve made myself. Here’s hoping I won’t spark a bitter family rivalry ;)
     
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