Chances of having autism if father and son are diagnosed

[kenaij]

Hi Everyone,
In advance. I am not a native speaker so any errors in grammer are due to that.
I have been walking around with a question for some time now. And I have not been able to find any good answers.
About a year back my father was diagnosed with autism (56y). Before I found out he had I had a strong feeling my son (5y) might be autistic due to several key factors. While discussing this with his school doctor they told me it was very possible but they feel it is too early to test him. I know autism can be passed down. But I was wondering what the chances are for me having autism. Because of my son I have been researching a lot about autism lately, especially because now I know my father is on the spectrum. However, more and more I come across examples that are very reletable to me personally. I have always joked about being autistic but have always simply put it aside and explained it away as being introvert and shy because of the bad skin I had as a teen. But lately I am struggling with social situations and personal situations aswell. One video explained the difference between autistic and introvert as. "An introvert understands the game, but does not like to play it." "Someone with autism does not get the game." This got me confused a little. Because I feel I am somewhere inbetween. I understand HOW the game is played. I simply do not understand why everyone is expected to play the same game. I can act very well in casual situations but shut down in unique situations. If we take poker as an example, I understand I need to form a set of cards, I know what the sets and values are. But have no clue what my chances are of getting the sets I want when looking at the cards in my hand and the cards on the table. So I make choices other players find very weird. If that makes sense?
Looking back this has always been a thing, but my 'save space' always got me out of stressful situations pretty quickly. Because of private reasons it no longer does, because my 'save space' has changed beyond my control and no longer really works for me. I want to keep the reason for this private.
So more and more I wonder if I should get tested. Just so I can give my struggles an explanation, and not 'hate' myself so much for having certain thoughts and feelings, or the lack of having them for that matter. And not being able to be social like other people.
Since diagnosis is very expensive in my country I do want to wait untill my son is tested eventually.

TLDR:
But very very long story short. What are the chances of a person being autistic (that does have a considerable amount of traits but seems 'high functioning') if his father and son are diagnosed with being on the spectrum?

Thank you.

 

[Outdated]

From everything I understand chances are very high. Autism is not a disease, you can't catch it, being "handed down" is the only way you end up with autism. For many of us it is also not a disability, once we learn to deal with the world on our own terms instead of everyone else's.

As for an official diagnosis, that's only important if you will gain something from it, in my case early retirement. Understanding yourself and being able to function better is far more important than having some head shrink understand you.

Regardless of wether or not you are autistic, if you can relate to some of our stories in here and they help you improve the way you view yourself then that is a good thing. Welcome to the forum.

 

[Luca]

From everything I understand chances are very high. Autism is not a disease, you can't catch it, being "handed down" is the only way you end up with autism. For many of us it is also not a disability, once we learn to deal with the world on our own terms instead of everyone else's.

As for an official diagnosis, that's only important if you will gain something from it, in my case early retirement. Understanding yourself and being able to function better is far more important than having some head shrink understand you.

Regardless of wether or not you are autistic, if you can relate to some of our stories in here and they help you improve the way you view yourself then that is a good thing. Welcome to the forum.

This is one of those times that I wish I could give multiple winner emojis lol.
This is such a great post!! Thank you

 

[Tom]

There is strong evidence for a hereditary 'passing down' of autism via genetics, but I have never seen it expressed in terms of the odds/percentage chance. They may not know.

I will add that having it passed along genetically does not necessarily mean identical results. The outcomes are more complicated and subtle.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hi Everyone,
In advance. I am not a native speaker so any errors in grammer are due to that.
I have been walking around with a question for some time now. And I have not been able to find any good answers.
About a year back my father was diagnosed with autism (56y). Before I found out he had I had a strong feeling my son (5y) might be autistic due to several key factors. While discussing this with his school doctor they told me it was very possible but they feel it is too early to test him. I know autism can be passed down. But I was wondering what the chances are for me having autism. Because of my son I have been researching a lot about autism lately, especially because now I know my father is on the spectrum. However, more and more I come across examples that are very reletable to me personally. I have always joked about being autistic but have always simply put it aside and explained it away as being introvert and shy because of the bad skin I had as a teen. But lately I am struggling with social situations and personal situations aswell. One video explained the difference between autistic and introvert as. "An introvert understands the game, but does not like to play it." "Someone with autism does not get the game." This got me confused a little. Because I feel I am somewhere inbetween. I understand HOW the game is played. I simply do not understand why everyone is expected to play the same game. I can act very well in casual situations but shut down in unique situations. If we take poker as an example, I understand I need to form a set of cards, I know what the sets and values are. But have no clue what my chances are of getting the sets I want when looking at the cards in my hand and the cards on the table. So I make choices other players find very weird. If that makes sense?
Looking back this has always been a thing, but my 'save space' always got me out of stressful situations pretty quickly. Because of private reasons it no longer does, because my 'save space' has changed beyond my control and no longer really works for me. I want to keep the reason for this private.
So more and more I wonder if I should get tested. Just so I can give my struggles an explanation, and not 'hate' myself so much for having certain thoughts and feelings, or the lack of having them for that matter. And not being able to be social like other people.
Since diagnosis is very expensive in my country I do want to wait untill my son is tested eventually.

TLDR:
But very very long story short. What are the chances of a person being autistic (that does have a considerable amount of traits but seems 'high functioning') if his father and son are diagnosed with being on the spectrum?

Thank you.

A summary of what we know about autism genetics, as based upon the Autism Genome Project. Dr. Sebat actually does a really nice job here. Relatively speaking, easy to understand.

 

[Goblin]

Hello,

Thank you for your post. I am in a similar situation, but at age 79, it comes as a shock that I might have had autism as I was growing up and never was diagnosed. But my daughter and probably my son had or have it. And it has caused them enormous suffering.

At the age of 55, I had to 'drop out of work' and start to find a way to adjust to the stress and anxiety of life, and I've since spent the last 26 years working out a scheme to live tranquilly with my wife of 54 years.

I'd be glad to talk about how I managed this if you are interested. There is no fix or drug that will remove the burden of this condition, especially if we truly have passed it to children unknowingly. But we can ACCEPT our experience as just part of our life and destiny and learn with it how to live a better existence.

Goblin

 

[kenaij]

Hello,

Thank you for your post. I am in a similar situation, but at age 79, it comes as a shock that I might have had autism as I was growing up and never was diagnosed. But my daughter and probably my son had or have it. And it has caused them enormous suffering.

At the age of 55, I had to 'drop out of work' and start to find a way to adjust to the stress and anxiety of life, and I've since spent the last 26 years working out a scheme to live tranquilly with my wife of 54 years.

I'd be glad to talk about how I managed this if you are interested. There is no fix or drug that will remove the burden of this condition, especially if we truly have passed it to children unknowingly. But we can ACCEPT our experience as just part of our life and destiny and learn with it how to live a better existence.

Goblin

Thank you so much for that kind post. If I come up with any worthwhile questions I’ll be sure to contact you.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Hi Everyone,
In advance. I am not a native speaker so any errors in grammer are due to that.
I have been walking around with a question for some time now. And I have not been able to find any good answers.
About a year back my father was diagnosed with autism (56y). Before I found out he had I had a strong feeling my son (5y) might be autistic due to several key factors. While discussing this with his school doctor they told me it was very possible but they feel it is too early to test him. I know autism can be passed down. But I was wondering what the chances are for me having autism. Because of my son I have been researching a lot about autism lately, especially because now I know my father is on the spectrum. However, more and more I come across examples that are very reletable to me personally. I have always joked about being autistic but have always simply put it aside and explained it away as being introvert and shy because of the bad skin I had as a teen. But lately I am struggling with social situations and personal situations aswell. One video explained the difference between autistic and introvert as. "An introvert understands the game, but does not like to play it." "Someone with autism does not get the game." This got me confused a little. Because I feel I am somewhere inbetween. I understand HOW the game is played. I simply do not understand why everyone is expected to play the same game. I can act very well in casual situations but shut down in unique situations. If we take poker as an example, I understand I need to form a set of cards, I know what the sets and values are. But have no clue what my chances are of getting the sets I want when looking at the cards in my hand and the cards on the table. So I make choices other players find very weird. If that makes sense?
Looking back this has always been a thing, but my 'save space' always got me out of stressful situations pretty quickly. Because of private reasons it no longer does, because my 'save space' has changed beyond my control and no longer really works for me. I want to keep the reason for this private.
So more and more I wonder if I should get tested. Just so I can give my struggles an explanation, and not 'hate' myself so much for having certain thoughts and feelings, or the lack of having them for that matter. And not being able to be social like other people.
Since diagnosis is very expensive in my country I do want to wait untill my son is tested eventually.

TLDR:
But very very long story short. What are the chances of a person being autistic (that does have a considerable amount of traits but seems 'high functioning') if his father and son are diagnosed with being on the spectrum?

Thank you.

In my experience, I can say with a billion percent certainty that if your father has autism, and your son has autism, there's no way in halibut that you don't have autism.

This next part I'm not saying to discourage anybody--but one of the reasons I never want to be a father is that my future children deserve to exist struggle-free, and the only way to spare them such adversities is to make sure they don't exist. Also I know I wouldn't be a good father anyways.

I do wish you luck for your testing! My results gave me peace and clarity.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

From everything I understand chances are very high. Autism is not a disease, you can't catch it, being "handed down" is the only way you end up with autism. For many of us it is also not a disability, once we learn to deal with the world on our own terms instead of everyone else's.

As for an official diagnosis, that's only important if you will gain something from it, in my case early retirement. Understanding yourself and being able to function better is far more important than having some head shrink understand you.

Regardless of wether or not you are autistic, if you can relate to some of our stories in here and they help you improve the way you view yourself then that is a good thing. Welcome to the forum.

BRAVO! I love your words.