Cashier Anxiety?

[Varzar]

When I get to a cashier, I want everything to go as fast as possible. If it's inefficient, and it's my fault, I feel a lot of anxiety that I am either:
A) holding up people in line behind me (even if no one is in line behind me)
B) stopping the cashier from doing other productive work (even if it's obvious they couldn't care less)

If I'm shopping with my wife, and then the cashier asks something like, "Do you have a member card/points card?"... Well, if I didn't have it out and ready to go, I'd just say, "no."
My wife on the other hand, will start rummaging through her purse looking for one, even if she doesn't have one!! At this point my anxiety skyrockets..

We've had a few arguments on this subject (most recently yesterday)... When I think about it logically, it all just seems ridiculous. Why should I get so anxious? I don't know.. I just do.. But it's not logical...

Does this sound at all familiar?

 

[Judge]

Yeah. Social anxiety at its worst. When even the most casual interaction can be awkward- even painful.

Exacerbated by the potential of being shortchanged. Where you try to be social with them to some degree, but watching every move they make in the process. One autistic person to another, while it may seem innocuous to most people, it's not to us.

Though in all fairness I have to add that I try to be social with them, even engaging in silly small talk that I know cannot last long as I'm in a line. I view it simply as "practice". Otherwise living in near isolation really could make me into an old curmudgeon. Kind of like Walter Eckland (Cary Grant) in "Father Goose".

The Filthy Beast:

Oh- and I always have my card ready without fail. Need that discount !

One saving grace. As you age, you may find that you care less and less about such encounters no matter how they end.

 

[Varzar]

Yeah. Social anxiety at its worst. When even the most casual interaction can be awkward- even painful.

Exacerbated by the potential of being shortchanged. Where you try to be social with them to some degree, but watching every move they make in the process. One autistic person to another, while it may seem innocuous to most people, it's not to us.

Though in all fairness I have to add that I try to be social with them, even engaging in silly small talk that I know cannot last long as I'm in a line. I view it simply as "practice". Otherwise living in near isolation really could make me into an old curmudgeon. Kind of like Walter Eckland (Cary Grant) in "Father Goose".

The Filthy Beast:

Oh- and I always have my card ready without fail. Need that discount !

One saving grace. As you age, you may find that you care less and less about such encounters no matter how they end.

I also usually try to be social, also for the "practice". There's usually time for a little of that while they are scanning things anyways that doesn't slow the process down.... Although on rare occasion, they have started to talk more even beyond when we were done paying, and then I started to feel anxious again, thinking, "Ok, we're done now! Small talk practice is over!". lol

 

[Judge]

I also usually try to be social, also for the "practice". There's usually time for a little of that while they are scanning things anyways that doesn't slow the process down.... Although on rare occasion, they have started to talk more even beyond when we were done paying, and then I started to feel anxious again, thinking, "Ok, we're done now! Small talk practice is over!". lol

And being aware that being overly social might result in them scanning the same item once, twice or even three times. Not cool. So much to consider over what should be nothing.

The life of an autistic person...it is what it is.

 

[Aspychata]

@Varzar
If my card isn't out, forgetta about it.
Get in get out, but sometimes there are real people instead of robots. I try to ask how their day is going.

 

[Judge]

Get in get out, but sometimes there are real people instead of robots. I try to ask how their day is going.

That's a notch above my schtick. Generally I won't ask strangers how they are doing. Lack of empathy or intellectual honesty ? I've just always felt weird about the whole "how are you" question. Unless I genuinely care. Though I know it's just a harmless form of greeting for most NTs.

I suppose you can always ask them to open the pod bay doors. If they respond, there ya go.

 

[Fino]

Do you feel impatient when you're in line and the person in front of you is doing something like that, such as fumbling through their purse to get a card?

 

[Aspychata]

That's a notch above my schtick. Generally I won't ask strangers how they are doing. Lack of empathy or intellectual honesty ? I've just always felt weird about the whole "how are you" question. Unless I genuinely care. Though I know it's just a harmless form of greeting for most NTs.

I suppose you can always ask them to open the pod bay doors. If they respond, there ya go.

Having worked as a cashier (l have had a variety of jobs), they are treated poorly by a lot of people. So one day, perhaps you will ask or say something nice.

 

[Pistachio]

I try not to talk to cashiers while theyre scanning items so I don't make them make a mistake. I usually greet them because I guess it's a habit to do that. In other words, reasonably sociable but not really talking with them. I wouldn't talk to anyone as "practice" though, I'd hate to think of people talking to me as "practice", I would feel hurt from that.

As for the coupon card, if it's not on my keychain I generally don't bother. Some stores ask for your phone number instead of a card and I can never remember it, and it probably doesn't do much anyway.

But when I'm at a store, the cashier generally doesn't cause me anxiety, it's all the other stuff in the store: maneuvering around store clerks, other customers, the occasional person talking to me (who knows, maybe for practice). I go to the store to get my products, take a short walk, and get out. That's it for me.

 

[Varzar]

Do you feel impatient when you're in line and the person in front of you is doing something like that, such as fumbling through their purse to get a card?

Mmm, less so.. That more depends on a variety of other factors.. If I'm in a rush is part of it.. But mostly if I figure the person is being excessively discourteous of the time of those behind them..

I don't get as worked up about other people holding me up as I do if I feel I'm holding them up.. Like I say, I'll get anxious even if no-one is in line behind me.. Cause, someone might show up at any moment..

 

[Varzar]

Having worked as a cashier (l have had a variety of jobs), they are treated poorly by a lot of people. So one day, perhaps you will ask or say something nice.

I've also worked as a cashier/server.. It was at a Tim Horton's on graveyard shift. The managers there always impressed on us that our shift made no money, and we were there to clean the place for the morning shift. I think that's why I'm also anxious about feeling like I might be wasting the cashier's time.. Cause some customers liked to waste mine back when I was in that position..

 

[Varzar]

I try not to talk to cashiers while theyre scanning items so I don't make them make a mistake. I usually greet them because I guess it's a habit to do that. In other words, reasonably sociable but not really talking with them. I wouldn't talk to anyone as "practice" though, I'd hate to think of people talking to me as "practice", I would feel hurt from that.

As for the coupon card, if it's not on my keychain I generally don't bother. Some stores ask for your phone number instead of a card and I can never remember it, and it probably doesn't do much anyway.

But when I'm at a store, the cashier generally doesn't cause me anxiety, it's all the other stuff in the store: maneuvering around store clerks, other customers, the occasional person talking to me (who knows, maybe for practice). I go to the store to get my products, take a short walk, and get out. That's it for me.

On that note... I also have anxiety depending on the store size.. I've gotten better about this over time, but the larger, busier, and more open the layout of the store, the more anxious I get. Costco is the worst, with places like Walmart in close second.. I feel like I have to pay attention to everything everyone I can see is doing.. In Costco, that is very tiring...

 

[Bolletje]

I get anxious when people in front of me are slow, or the cashier is. Not so much anxiety when it’s my turn, I exchange pleasantries and make sure I have my cards and wallet at the ready beforehand. I do get a little anxious when I’m packing up my groceries and it’s going slowly because I don’t want to hold up the next person.

 

[Progster]

Yes, it does sound familiar. My main issue is the beeping of the scanner being WAY too loud - to the extent that I have started wearing earplugs to the supermarket, and then that the cashier is so fast in scanning the items that I don't have time to put them into bags and they stack up. Then she wants me to pay, so I can't continue packing. Then, when I'm done with that, she(or he) starts scanning the items of the next customer - when I still haven't finished packing mine - so the next customer's items get mixed up with mine. That REALLY stresses me out.

 

[SusanLR]

I always get any cards or coupons out and in hand before I go to the register.
I want to make the transaction as quick as possible because it makes me feel awkward.
If they are normal in social actions with the how are you todays or did you find everything alrights,
there is always the knowledge I don't care for the social norms and won't be the first to say them.
The most common thing I find they say is "Did you find everything today?"
I nod and reply yes. Pay up and hope there aren't problems with the wrong price registering or
something isn't right with my coupon, etc.

They usually end the transaction with the "Have a good day."
I reply yes, you too or thanks.

So my anxiety is what the interaction will be.
Did she notice I never looked her in the eyes? Oh, dear. Just get it over and out.

 

[Gracey]

I used to.
Could easily get wound up at the incompetence of others when waiting in a queue behind them.

Nowadays, it's amusing.
As far as I'm aware there's no rule book on how to get through a cashiers checkout.

The only person that's ever received training at that checkout is the cashier themselves.
Anything goes
Bit like a zoo sometimes.

 

[Michael Balog]

Wow it's nice to hear I'm not the only one who is like this in a store. I prefer Smaller stores because they make me less anxious The bigger stores like Walmart have too much going on in them and It makes me more anxious. When I go up to a cashier I usually have my cards ready to go so I don't hold the line up and be more efficient. And then when I'm done and the cashier says have a great day or thanks or come again I always mess up and say something dumb like your welcome or I guess so.

 

[paloftoon]

It's a cashier's job to remind people about cards and stuff. If someone tries to use a card later on after a purchase, it could be a lot more work for the store. So, they try to "nip it in the bud" so to speak. If the store has self checkout, you can consider that instead.

 

[All-Rounder]

The issue seems to be guilting yourself and taking too much responsibility for little things. It's not only you who influences what's going on in that store, and I think you naturally are mannered, dont lack empathy and consideration, quite the opposite, have too much of it.

It's important to know it's not your fault for the outcome of the shift. You are not responsible and you are a good custommer. You don't need any extra carefulness and walking on eggshells. It's better to calm those thoughts that arise from your own trauma, it doesn't mean the casheer will have the same happen to them as it did to you.

 

[Pats]

I am the same way - everything out and ready to hand them, if it's missing a price sticker I'll say never mind will get it next time. And I hate when the person in front of me who is already checking out remembers and has to go get something else, then remembers and has to go get her purse out of the car. COME PREPARED!! I would never hold someone else up.
But there's one place in particular that takes about 5 minutes in and out but I'm exhausted by the time I get out. On my way in, I'm fumbling through my purse so I will have my coupon, my store card and my credit card out by the time I get to the cashier. I ask for what I want, hand her my coupon and store card, she rings it up, I swipe my card, sometimes have to show id, sign. Knowing someone is in line behind me I'm trying to gather up my cards, purchase, purse in my hands so they don't have to wait for me to put everything back in my purse. I literally get back to my car and have to catch my breathe and rest a minute.