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Can't Describe Feelings in Spoken Words?

zozie

Well-Known Member
Does anyone else have trouble describing feelings verbally? I've heard of alexithymia but it's often described as crying for no apparent reason. I have a flat affect, and physical expression seems stuck. I feel deeply inside, but it's usually an image, like a tidal wave, and I can't seem to communicate it until I write it out. And even then, I describe it as a tidal wave, not as "feeling overwhelmed".

Then, when I share the image to someone else, they say something like, "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed," so I try to adapt my language. But it doesn't come out like this naturally.

Any other experiences like this?
 
Sometimes other people's emotional states
register to me as colors, so I have to translate
my impression that a person seemed brown/
lavender/gold/gray...etc into a description that
is recognizable.

It's not automatic. I have had to learn what some
people's colors mean by matching up their subsequent
actions and remarks. Then when I encounter that same
color later I have an idea what it's about.
 
That's interesting, my oldest teenager was describing how they associate people with colors, though not on an emotional level, it seems. However, according to them, the sound of the voice also has a color, different from the overall person..
 
Yes similar to the OP, flat affect and emotional resonance with others but in my case, usually not spoken. Can get suddenly overwhelmed by feelings, eg recently after going to the vet for the cats annual booster, a dog went in and came out on a gurney in the time we were there, and the next day I said, I suppose they do it like that for quickness, and he'll wake up at home, and my friend said, he was being put to sleep. So I suddenly realised the poor dog was dead, his owner was getting him back to take home. Couldn't stop crying. It's making me cry again now.
 
I know what you mean about realizing later the actual events and circumstances of an emotional situation. Laying a pet to rest is such a sad thing.
 
Does anyone else have trouble describing feelings verbally? I've heard of alexithymia but it's often described as crying for no apparent reason. I have a flat affect, and physical expression seems stuck. I feel deeply inside, but it's usually an image, like a tidal wave, and I can't seem to communicate it until I write it out. And even then, I describe it as a tidal wave, not as "feeling overwhelmed".

Then, when I share the image to someone else, they say something like, "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed," so I try to adapt my language. But it doesn't come out like this naturally.

Any other experiences like this?
I seem to be very similar, in that there seems to be a disconnect between the feeling part of my brain and the thinking part. I CAN feel, but except for being able to name basic feelings (anger, hurt, desire, contentment, etc), I cannot describe how they actually feel. Until a few years ago I thought this was normal, and could not figure out why everybody else could express feelings so readily. I have no advice for you since I have not found a solution myself. All I can do is let you know you are not alone in this.
 
When I experience a strong emotion/feeling it has tended to make my mind fixated on it and everything else, all other thoughts abandoned. It feels like there is no room for anything else at the moment. If I were to describe it as a field of view it becomes tunnel visioned. If a friend at that moment interrupts me I might not remember their name. I briefly thought of it as one of those classic western shootouts where it is suddenly you and whatever it is that caused the emotion staring at each other and all the townspeople (other thoughts/awareness) run away and hide.

I couldn't find the right gif but thought this was good anyway.

5ae8605dce04b_Count210.gif.5fc54877d80f7993ed644f9950e48889.gif
 
It seems you are an artist of emotions. A some point in our race's development, we became a very verbal species. Before that, however, a picture of a wave after an event might be understood by all. I love words but appreciate when people experience their ideas and emotions in colours and images. If you are around people who understand, it should be valued and understood. It seems wrong that you should be forced to put emotional images into words. Maybe others should learn what your images mean.
 
My daughter is currently going thru an autism diagnosis , she is extremely articulate and her vocabulary is well beyond her years but when she was asked during the assessment to describe how she feels inside when she was sad she was completely lost for words .
 
It seems you are an artist of emotions. A some point in our race's development, we became a very verbal species. Before that, however, a picture of a wave after an event might be understood by all. I love words but appreciate when people experience their ideas and emotions in colours and images. If you are around people who understand, it should be valued and understood. It seems wrong that you should be forced to put emotional images into words. Maybe others should learn what your images mean.

I did write a narrative of my emotions during the diagnostic process and gave it to my therapist. He said he had to read it through several times to understand the depth and meaning of my images, which is both flattering and frustrating, since this kind of narrative is so easy for me but I can't easily define the word "compassion" in an assessment.
 
My daughter is currently going thru an autism diagnosis , she is extremely articulate and her vocabulary is well beyond her years but when she was asked during the assessment to describe how she feels inside when she was sad she was completely lost for words .

My oldest is very similar. They are up for assessment in March, and struggle a lot with describing feelings, though their feelings are intense and sometimes debilitating.
 
When I experience a strong emotion/feeling it has tended to make my mind fixated on it and everything else, all other thoughts abandoned. It feels like there is no room for anything else at the moment. If I were to describe it as a field of view it becomes tunnel visioned. If a friend at that moment interrupts me I might not remember their name. I briefly thought of it as one of those classic western shootouts where it is suddenly you and whatever it is that caused the emotion staring at each other and all the townspeople (other thoughts/awareness) run away and hide.

I couldn't find the right gif but thought this was good anyway.

View attachment 65259

I, too, find emotions, when they arise, are quite engrossing and I have go somewhere by myself, put on the same song, and write until they're out. I have often wondered in the past if this is a feature of a personality disorder, but I'm comforted to find intense emotions experienced here.
 
I have memories (like short video clips)
of what acts of compassion look and sound like,
but they're not mine.
They come from observing others.

I recognise what I believe to be compassion,
and could describe the 'video clip'
- set the scene, describe physical actions of each person.
along with giving a dictionary definition of compassion,
but couldn't describe how it feels.
 
Yup... I struggle with feeling emotions and expressing emotions, except for negative emotions when things go as well (ask me about the last nine months)

People tell me they see emotion in my photos, I rarely even think about emotion at any point in the process, it's all logical to me from my perspective... :rolleyes:
 
I seem to be very similar, in that there seems to be a disconnect between the feeling part of my brain and the thinking part. I CAN feel, but except for being able to name basic feelings (anger, hurt, desire, contentment, etc), I cannot describe how they actually feel. Until a few years ago I thought this was normal, and could not figure out why everybody else could express feelings so readily. I have no advice for you since I have not found a solution myself. All I can do is let you know you are not alone in this.

Someone on here (I forget who) spoke of emotional processing delay, and gave the extremely useful advice of "ask me tomorrow how I feel about that, or next week, or next year" (I'm paraphrasing). This has been enormously valuable in understanding difficulty with emotions, and while I started saying this to people, I think I might modify it to, "ask me when I've had a chance to write about it".
 
Describing my feelings is very hard, it's almost impossible to do it verbally and in the moment. It's something that has frustrated me for a long time and that makes other people frustrated, because they expect me to be able to express these things easily and on a whim.

It's a very isolating feeling to not be able to tell people what you're experiencing emotionally and then have them get upset with you.
 
Describing my feelings is very hard, it's almost impossible to do it verbally and in the moment. It's something that has frustrated me for a long time and that makes other people frustrated, because they expect me to be able to express these things easily and on a whim.

It's a very isolating feeling to not be able to tell people what you're experiencing emotionally and then have them get upset with you.

I hear that. I realized that I overcompensated by using analysis to figure out how I should feel and said that, and then realized that I felt differently later. Been a difficult pattern to break, and was accused a lot of being inconsistent.

And of course, to experience people who assume that you're not feeling at all -- that's the worst.
 
in•ef•fa•ble ĭn-ĕf′ə-bəl


  • adj.
    Incapable of being expressed in words; indescribable or unutterable; inexpressible.
Many of my feelings are this way so I don't even bother trying.
 
I can tell when my cortisol levels spike, but I have no idea how I am feeling. I can't tell the difference among fear, anxiety, sorrow, excitement, or nervousness, if those are actually different. I know I am stressed. Later I can figure out what was going on, although I am not sure I can express what I was actually feeling or convey the feeling. I kind of have a binary state: stressed and not stressed. I wish I had more of the later.
 
Yeah no good at it either. Certain emotional triggers in TV awkward ones and yelling can trigger them. Driving my control out as they pour in. The inevitable what's wrong comes up.
Sounds like I've got a speech impediment trying describe it.
 

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