Can some one physically hit autistic child

[rams]

Could mother or dad discipline autistic child by using force?

 

[Judge]

Not really sure what you are asking or in what context.

However to my knowledge in the US parental rights involving corporal punishment and what is deemed as "ordinary force" are not determined in accordance with a child's respective neurology.

That it's when a parent applies something beyond "ordinary force" that legally enters a potential realm of charges of parental abuse. Whether they are Neurodiverse or Neurotypical.

I grew up in the 50s and 60s when corporal punishment was the norm for both parents and educators.


WHERE AND HOW TO DRAW THE LINE BETWEEN REASONABLE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT AND ABUSE

 

[VioletHaze_03]

Like normal children, autistic kids still obey the laws of physics and gravity. So yes, we can get hit In all seriousness, physical punishment is one of the worst ways to punish an autistic child. Their behaviour may be out of their control (imagine having an uncontrollably bad cough, is it fair to punch someone for that?) or they are just trying to make themselves comfortable in a world that overwhelms them. Examine and understand why and how the behaviour exists, and then develop precautions to alter it. Physical punishment is abuse, and abuse is never helpful to an autistic child, or anyone for that matter.

 

[rams]

I live in canada .I'm not sure how the rules are here. But child is only 6. Mother also knows that she shouldnt hit child but to discipline her she hits her in a closed room on childs lap and pushes her while shes crying. She tells her when ever she or any one calls her child should answer immediately like yes mom ,yes dad etc.

Child doesnt like to talk or smile to mother's relatives which is making her more angry

 

[rams]

Examine and understand why and how the behaviour exists, and then develop precautions to alter it. Physical punishment is abuse, and abuse is never helpful to an autistic child, or anyone for that matter.

She doesnt like this. She was being advised by her mother who thinks all children go back in time to 1960's life where children are scared of even foot steps of parents

 

[the_tortoise]

Hitting a child for not smiling at people would be considered child abuse in any province/territory in Canada.

Hitting an autistic child for not immediately answering "yes mom/dad" would also almost certainly be considered child abuse. This is because consistently setting expectations that are unreasonable given the child's developmental level or physical/mental disability is considered child abuse. (Edit to clarify: This doesn't mean it's child abuse if you are trying to teach/encourage your child to develop abilities, pushing them to learn to do things they can't do yet -- that is a good and necessary part of parenting. It is the harsh punishment for any failure and serious disregard for the child's developmental level and/or disability that makes it abuse.)

(Also, a physical punishment like that could be seen as an excessive disciplinary response for simply not saying "yes mom/dad", whether the child was autistic or not. Physical punishment is only allowed if it is reasonable -- not just in how much physical force is used, also in whether the child's behavior is actually bad enough to warrant physical punishment at all.)

 

[rams]

Thanks tortoise for your prompt reply. since she cant do this here she would like to take her back home which I was opposing . we went there last year for 2 months. Every day my daughter used to say when r we going back'. After coming back from there she was again trying to go back saying some one from US went back to India with their autistic kid

 

[Mr Allen]

Could mother or dad discipline autistic child by using force?

No! No! And did I mention, NO?!

It's bad enough some Parents use THAT sort of punishment on NT kids, but to an Autistic child? DEFINITELY NOT!

 

[the_tortoise]

If you are still opposing your wife taking your daughter back home because you are afraid for your daughter's safety and well-being, could you get a psychologist involved to advocate for your daughter -- perhaps to talk to your wife?

If you are desperate, Child and Family Services in your province/territory might also be able to help you.....they offer education and support services for parents and are responsible for child protection services.

 

[Dorkasour]

Yea that is not ok at all. If she is trying to move just to be able to hit her kid than there is a lot of problems going on.

 

[rams]

If you are still opposing your wife taking your daughter back home because you are afraid for your daughter's safety and well-being, could you get a psychologist involved to advocate for your daughter -- perhaps to talk to your wife?

If you are desperate, Child and Family Services in your province/territory might also be able to help you.....they offer education and support services for parents and are responsible for child protection services.

She wouldn't listen to any one . My family told her it would be better to keep child with parents. But she never listened to them and instead gave them lectures about how she can cope with it. with regards to child and family services I dont want to breakdown the relation between us. But I want her to come out of that mindset so we could look at child with the help of professional teachers and others

Even a small support from me towards my daughter while mother hitting or screaming at her making things worse. I feel sad about this silent spectatorship.

Another thing we can keep some bread in someones mouth but we cant make them chew, it is they who need to do it

 

[Gracey]

NO.

It's assault, anyway you want to dress it up or justify it.

Again No.

 

[the_tortoise]

She wouldn't listen to any one . My family told her it would be better to keep child with parents. But she never listened to them and instead gave them lectures about how she can cope with it. with regards to child and family services I dont want to breakdown the relation between us. But I want her to come out of that mindset so we could look at child with the help of professional teachers and others

Even a small support from me towards my daughter while mother hitting or screaming at her making things worse. I feel sad about this silent spectatorship.

Another thing we can keep some bread in someones mouth but we cant make them chew, it is they who need to do it

I understand not wanting to breakdown the relation between you and your spouse, or between your spouse and your daughter.

But I think that your daughter's safety and well-being have to come first. You are responsible for protecting your daughter from anyone who would harm her, even if that person is her mother/your spouse. Even if that harm is not intentional.

And if your spouse will not listen to anything anyone says about autism and how to help your child, then maybe it is your spouse who has already broken down relations between you....relationships are a two-way street. Your spouse's choices/actions leave you with very few options.

 

[Gracey]

She wouldn't listen to any one . My family told her it would be better to keep child with parents. But she never listened to them and instead gave them lectures about how she can cope with it. with regards to child and family services I dont want to breakdown the relation between us. But I want her to come out of that mindset so we could look at child with the help of professional teachers and others

Even a small support from me towards my daughter while mother hitting or screaming at her making things worse. I feel sad about this silent spectatorship.

Another thing we can keep some bread in someones mouth but we cant make them chew, it is they who need to do it

If you don't get involved and protect your daughter it's the same as you doing the screaming and hitting.

Knowing about it and not doing a damn thing??

Beggar ruined relationships, you need to zip up your man suit and intervene.
Silent spectatorship my ass, Step up, get in their and protect that child !! Do something.

NO child deserves to be assaulted or mentally abused.

(This is just my personal opinion)

 

[Crossbreed]

This thread is a bit confusing to me.

Is the topic

• Corporal punishment: Is it ever appropriate? or
• Corporal punishment: Is it ever appropriate/effective for an autistic child?

@rams , you and your wife seem to disagree about whether or not corporal punishment should be part of your parenting strategy, generally.

1. If you you don't come to some kind of agreement before coming here, it will just incite the same disagreement here (as has already been evidenced).
2. If you two decide against corporal punishment, the child's neurology will be moot.
3. If you two decide that corporal punishment has a legitimate place in child-rearing, the next question would be how to factor in your child's autism.

Many people here are responding to scenario #1. My response (now deleted) was to scenario #3. Was I wrong to do so?

 

[Lia]

NEVER hit a child. It is abuse.

 

[megacomic]

you could technically hit anyone if they're within three feet of you. Should you hit anyone? Probably not.

 

[Chance]

As a guy who was hit and screamed at a lot as a kid... Regardless of whatever laws there are... I cant say I understood it then, that it ever helped me in any way, or that I understand it today.

I can say it messed me up pretty bad... maybe worse as I got older than when I was a kid.

 

[Chance]

I don't know the difference between abuse and corporal punishment.

Exactly how I feel, so I don't hit, threaten, or scream at anyone ever. I hold it in an worry over it, which is unhealthy also.

 

[OkRad]

I think it is not legal everywhere. I would never do it.