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Can I mention how incredibly hard this is?

William Weiler

Ad Astra
1. I was extremely abused by a malignant Narcissistic and have made a fantastic recovery. Yet this is still my main daily focus and incredibly difficult. I have to make major uncomfortable changes almost daily. Feel intense unpleasant feelings and manage relationships without blowing them up with paranoia.
2. Before I accepted this reality of child abuse, I married a Narcissistic and had a son. It has been constant attacks and harassment since the divorce. I was told yesterday I will be served for, once again, more money. The painful alienation of my son. So lawyers, court, $$. These things can be incredibly cruel.
3. I have a full time job at a startup where I am a key member. Can't exactly say no to overtime when 10 other people are on the project and I am the key guy. Startups by definition are always on the edge of disaster. (high risk/high reward investment by VC fund).
4. Because of severe neglect, I have to learn everything myself.
5. BTW I am Autistic.

Then everybody stuff. Parenting - woo boy, don't go there. This is really, really hard. Preparing for retirement, fixing problems with RV (I fulltime in a 5th wheel, actually I prefer it hugely over apartment). Had a sudden water leak Sunday, what a pain.

But it is a message of hope. All the happiness and fun I have. I adore my son, and yes, I am a fantastic parent now. You should see what I can do. I have so many friends, they would do anything for me. I can do so much for others now it isn't even funny, I am so effective now. People call me wise, they tell me they envy me. It is completely off the hook. Years ago in the middle of the crap, I read this in Gahil's Gibran's The Prophet: The deeper the bowl sorrow carves in your soul, the more joy it will contain.

I think a good post would be Autism doesn't exist in isolation, but it affects how I solve all of life problems. How my approach to anything, even parenting, has to modified to accommodate it. I did an ADHD seminar as the only Autistic parent. It was hard for them to grasp the simplest things I take for granted. I am not saying in any way they are less effective, but our approaches, by necessity, have to different.

It is true people can disagree with everything in my post. Pretty standard. But I like helping others, and can point to resources or share experiences. I am not so deluded to think I know it all, have anything figured out completely, am the healthiest one, or even have the worse background.

I do want to say it is hard now and again. Well, because it is. There is too much stuff.
 
Well, it sounds like you're making good progress, then, and accomplishing some good things.

Though my own personal approach to things has always been to avoid everyone and stay in the basement with the dogs.
 
I dunno, most of the time if someone asks me how I'm feeling, my usual response is "everything hurts".

Heck I'm due for physical therapy in about 30 minutes (oh boy, fun times, let's go get WRENCHED). I'm nowhere near old enough for this nonsense, but there it is. All sorts of nerve & tendon issues.
 
Well, it sounds like you're making good progress, then, and accomplishing some good things.

Though my own personal approach to things has always been to avoid everyone and stay in the basement with the dogs.
If that's where the dogs are then that's where I'd be. Dogs are better company and better friends than any humans.
 
I felt a ton better after I wrote this. I told a friend at work and felt even better. Now I am going to sit on the couch and do nothing for the rest of the night.
 
I kind of think people can't relate to physical problems if they don't have them. I also think people find the disabilities of other frightening because it might happen to them. Most healthy people are supportive and easy to get along on this though. Doctors can be great too. Physical therapists can be nice. I have them.
 
@William Weiler, it's good you made a fantastic recovery. I never. Narc abuse is very damaging. Some kids read fiction to get through without lasting damage.
It's common to marry narcs if we have been raised by them.
Even harder on the spectrum.

I have a fear of water leaks. I remember checking taps several times as a 9 year old and my friend flooded the toilets at school by throwing a ball into the cistern when I was using loo and I got the blame and called a nutcase.

You read I wish I had not given up.

Good on you for doing a seminar.

Narcs go after empaths which is why you were scapegoated by parents and selected by a narc husband.

It sounds positive for you although it may not feel it.
 

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