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Featured Can autistic people feel a connection with other people that they don't know are also autistic?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Cazelle, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. Cazelle

    Cazelle Well-Known Member

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    I've been thinking a lot since my recent diagnosis and something that has struck me is that almost any time I've been in contact with autistic people it seems there has been some connection. Some examples:
    1) a non-verbal autistic child aged 7 came and sat on my lap when I visited my daughter's classroom - his teacher aide was very surprised and said he only does that to people he knows very well or his family. He also followed me around a lot.
    2) when working in a community home setting one of my clients, who had Aspergers, made eye contact with me despite having not opened his eyes in front of anyone for several years (he told me he did kept his eyes closed in front of others as a self-punishment for something he once did).
    3) another client with Aspergers would only talk to me about what he felt, no-one else - he would wait until I was on shift, even if it meant waiting days. It seemed he hadn't done this before, as in, he never used to talk to anyone about what he felt.

    It makes me wonder - did they sense something about me? Has anyone else had similar experiences?
     
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  2. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    Yes.
    It is reciprical too.
    Child or adult. Quite a few times I have children smile, wave, or come to me that I find are autistic.
    They just seem to like me and I like them.
    Same with adults. I find many whom I am really comfortable with or enjoy talking with say they feel a connection and open up wanting to talk like they don't around others.
    Then they start talking about Aspergers and want to talk about being one and sense I know how
    they feel.

    I've also had this experience with people who are very withdrawn due to mental illness.
    I had a cousin who was a psychologist in a hospital mental unit and he also played guitar
    and performed there. I like to sing too and he ask if I'd like to volunteer to help him
    and I did for a while.
    I sang and played a tamborine and worked the audience. Going out and singing to a patient
    or trying to get them to participate. Very nice experience.
    Several times I had patients that were catatonic start paying attention and reacting.

    I think everyone has the ability to "feel" others.
    It's like the urban sentence: "Can ya feel me?"
     
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  3. An Arctic fox

    An Arctic fox Well-Known Member

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    This also happens to me
     
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  4. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    I met a classic autistic young person once and at that time, had not even heard of aspergers and that child did gravitate to me, which frightened me, because I could not figure out why and fearful I would say the wrong thing.

    My one friend I have, we think she is on the spectrum, because of so many similarities and we connect.

    I see it is common sense that we would connect, because we are the minority and thus, in effect, thirsting for understanding and when we discover another human being on our wavelength, connection will occur.
     
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  5. Cazelle

    Cazelle Well-Known Member

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    Wow, that is so interesting!
     
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  6. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    In my opinion, yes.
     
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  7. Kyou Nukui

    Kyou Nukui music is amazing

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    I agree. Looking back I had noticed connections before I even knew that I was autistic myself.
    I wish I had known, and said something about that at the time.
     
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  8. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think so. But I find that is true of many groups. Similar types recognize one another.
     
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  9. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That's interesting. They must sense a similarity. I would also venture to guess that they sense you are safe.
     
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  10. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I worked in a sanitarium for a summer when I was a teenager. Many of the residents were non-verbal, and others spoke a little. On my first day there, several young residents came up to me and held my hand and led me around to meet everyone. They thought I was a new resident, and they introduced me to everyone. After my introduction I began working with them. We got along quite well and no one seemed to be afraid of me, or inherently shy when I was there.

    Had helped raise my younger autistic sister, teaching her to speak and read and make friends. So I had some familiarity with autism, almost as if I knew how to interact implicitly with people on the spectrum without knowing that I was autistic myself at the time. There seemed to simply be a connection, some understood awareness amongst us.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2019
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  11. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Yep! The funniest time was recently with one of my students who is autistic, a little girl, and she had many other teachers before me so is well-known to not answer and just sit silently and ignore them, but I didn't find that out until after I had been teaching her a while, the entire time which she was very loud and boisterous and talkative.

    I was like, "Her? Quiet??"

    And when she came back from vacation recently, my supervisor said, "She's back, I'm sorry, I know how hard it is to get her to respond."

    Then cut to the lesson, she walks in, grinning, then talks non-stop for a half hour.

    Does she have a body-double? :eek:
     
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  12. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    I think so. It can be helpful to make the connection with others who would have the same experiences.
     
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  13. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    I seem to be drawn to neurodivesrse people - when I look back on my past friendships, many of them were probably either neurodiverse or on the spectrum. The 6 floor of the university library is a good place to meet fellow aspies :)
     
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  14. Kevin1968

    Kevin1968 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Oddly enough I was told that my wife's cousin's child who is about 2 or 3 and autistic was noticeably (by his mother not by me) curious about me, I didn't notice this at the time as my thoughts were elsewhere.
    Perhaps it's the lack of eye contact that makes them more comfortable, and I unlike most people he meets wasn't staring at him?
    Kids in general seem to be drawn to me anyway though.
    But I never really know how to communicate with them.
     
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  15. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    When I was rejected in elementary school (pre-dx), I sought out the company of other such rejects. Looking back, they were probably neurds, too. [​IMG]
     
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  16. inkfingers

    inkfingers 19 year old Aspie artist and Jesus follower

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    Yes. I met a young lady last year who I had almost no difficulty talking to (which is really rare for me). There was this... connection that I felt that I almost never feel with any other people (except for close friends and family). I later found out that she is autistic. I sometimes wonder if that intuitive understanding that I felt with her is similar to the social "connection" NTs have with eachother.
     
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  17. An Arctic fox

    An Arctic fox Well-Known Member

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    For me it was the other way around. I had a deep connection with this girl in my school when I was younger and I knew she was autstic and we would hang out a lot and recently I was diagnosed with autism
     
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  18. techteach

    techteach Captain Oblivious

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    Yes.
    One example: a student graduating the program right now and going to work at the hospital told me he is on the spectrum shortly after he started the program (Where we live there is a lot of prejudice. Telling me showed a LOT of trust.) He always uses me as a sounding board, shares everything, needs to be encouraged (my gift.)
    They trust me and gravitate to me and I am a mediator between them and the rest of the staff (who don't know, wouldn't understand and would mock them.) In fact, they do mock them for being different.o_O To me this is so weird. As a teacher we should be there for everyone, especially the "underdogs".
    Pretty cool huh!:)
    Just what I was thinking!!!:)
     
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  19. Ken S.

    Ken S. Dog Cookie King V.I.P Member

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    I can't say that I've experienced that other than on this forum, but my whole life babies/young children and animals, even supposed attack dogs. It seems when I make eye contact with them they get calm. My mother used to point out in restaurants all the time that babies were so fascinated with me that even their parents noticed it.
     
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  20. Anonym

    Anonym Member

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    Yeah, I've definitely had similar experiences.
     
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