Can anyone here read body language and facial expressions

[Gift2humanity]

I am self-diagnosed asperger's, which doesn't wash with some people.
I am rubbish at reading eyes.
I am not too bad at reading facial expressions and body language though.

Are there any of you here any good at reading body language and facial expressions?

 

[Bolletje]

Yup

 

[FreeDiver]

You should also ask if this is done "intuitively" or "cognitively". People on the spectrum can't do it intuitively, but some people can compensate by doing it cognitively. Doing it cognitively put a mental load on the mind that can result in exhaustion. Thus, why most can't keep the mask on all the time.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes l am at the top of my game. But most of the time it's so so. But l am just reading my boss or my customers.

 

[Hylian]

I can somewhat figure out body language and facial expressions, but I still mess up too much. Most of the time I basically can only tell whether someone's feeling a positive or negative emotion, and not what specific emotion they're feeling.

 

[Ella Spell]

I can feel their vibe, but it's not really visual.

 

[SDRSpark]

To be honest I am not really sure. Sometimes I think I do OK (I'm not sure if it's innate or cognitive, because even cognitive things happen so quickly for me that they can appear innate). Sometimes I think I'm no good at it at all.

What's clear though is that I have no idea what I'm missing (If I were missing it how would I know? LOL)

 

[Gift2humanity]

Yup

How did you learn this, did you read a lot of fiction as a child? That is supposed to help social skills?

 

[Gift2humanity]

You should also ask if this is done "intuitively" or "cognitively". People on the spectrum can't do it intuitively, but some people can compensate by doing it cognitively. Doing it cognitively put a mental load on the mind that can result in exhaustion. Thus, why most can't keep the mask on all the time.

I had a failed assessment, I took my ex-support worker with me.
I know that I am autistic, I have so many traits mentioned on here.
My support worker and the assessor said that I could read body language.
I have been given a chance by the assessor to challenge the assessment.
Does being able to intuitively read body language mean I am not autistic?
Please note, I cannot read expressions from the eyes.

 

[Thinx]

Yes I am OK at this. I am a keen observer and I have often tended to watch rather than join in. I watched people a lot, and television, and I did therapy, and counselling trainings. I also read a lot about non verbal behaviours, and I taught communication skills and wrote a text book for students on it. I probably wouldn't get a diagnosis either, but it doesn't mean I am not autistic, my internal experience of communication difficulties is such that I clearly am.

I'm sorry this isn't working out for you, and it may be worth looking for strategies to improve your situation that don't depend on getting a diagnosis, such as looking for work that fits best for how you are, and seeing if there are ways you can slightly alter your behaviours to fit in rather than get difficult feedback when at work. I know it's hard, but you might be happier overall if you can do this.

 

[Bolletje]

How did you learn this, did you read a lot of fiction as a child? That is supposed to help social skills?

I have always been able to do it, as far as I can recall. But I’ve always had my nose in a book ever since I learned to read, so that may have helped.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Yes I am OK at this. I am a keen observer and I have often tended to watch rather than join in. I watched people a lot, and television, and I did therapy, and counselling trainings. I also read a lot about non verbal behaviours, and I taught communication skills and wrote a text book for students on it. I probably wouldn't get a diagnosis either, but it doesn't mean I am not autistic, my internal experience of communication difficulties is such that I clearly am.

I'm sorry this isn't working out for you, and it may be worth looking for strategies to improve your situation that don't depend on getting a diagnosis, such as looking for work that fits best for how you are, and seeing if there are ways you can slightly alter your behaviours to fit in rather than get difficult feedback when at work. I know it's hard, but you might be happier overall if you can do this.

Thanks for your reply.
Are you not diagnosed?
I have so many other difficulties that are autistic, my mum even suspected it as a child in the 60's.
I'm 53 and have tried nursing, admin, retail work, care work and my interpersonal difficulties have not only caused sackings and problems in work, but with other peers including relatives.
I have sensory difficulties, I cannot cope as a neuro typical, it has caused secondary depression and anxiety all my life.
I don't have empathy, I cant gauge people's intentions. I get conned and manipulated all the time.
I just feel too vulnerable to live as a neurologist typical.
I don't want to languish on benefits, when I am fit for work, I want a job I would like and hope the employer would make reasonable adjustments for my difficulties.
My difficulties just annoy people and embarrass me and make life miserable, and a diagnosis would validate me and maybe I could end up doing a job I like with people who understand my difficulties.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I have always been able to do it, as far as I can recall. But I’ve always had my nose in a book ever since I learned to read, so that may have helped.

Yeah, fiction is known to help social skills. I had a narcissistic sadistic Dad who taunted me as I learnt to walk late and fell down a lot. I could talk before I could walk.
I taught myself to read but gave it up, as I wanted to be able to walk without falling down to feel accepted by my Dad.
I didnt realise he was jealous.
My mum said I was gifted, I taught myself to read and write before school.
I didn't know his motivations, he was violent and took pleasure in putting me down, and I underachieved. I stopped blaming him as it was a choice I made. It's so sad.
Can I ask you, please? how did you get a diagnosis when you can read body language and facial expressions-what criteria did they base your diagnosis on?
That would really help me.

 

[Misery]

I cant even bring myself to look at people most of the time, and DEFINITELY dont do eye contact. Bleh. Too much.

So I have a different skill.

I can read voices.

I know what you're thinking, I know what you're feeling, and often I know what you're going to do next. People put so much into their voice without knowing it.

Sometimes, things like word choice and sentence structure can also tell a bit, but not nearly as much.

And yes, I am accurate.

I used this talent back when I used to work. These days I dont work, but back when I did, I could never really hold a job long, so it was one interview after another to get new ones. But if I got the interview... I got the job, simple as that. Why? Because I could tell the interviewer exactly what they wanted to hear. The fact that each wants to hear something different is irrelevant. I can bloody well do it anyway.

As for how I do it: I have no bloody clue. Or at least, not that I can explain. The "processing" in my mind isnt really in words. Not really anything I can translate to text. You may as well be asking me what sound the color yellow makes.

It's a useful skill for dealing with people when I have to. But it doesnt prevent the endless social anxiety, and the fact that I really just dont like most people. Nor does it stop me from being totally freaking bizarre. So, useful, but not THAT useful.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I cant even bring myself to look at people most of the time, and DEFINITELY dont do eye contact. Bleh. Too much.

So I have a different skill.

I can read voices.

I know what you're thinking, I know what you're feeling, and often I know what you're going to do next. People put so much into their voice without knowing it.

Sometimes, things like word choice and sentence structure can also tell a bit, but not nearly as much.

And yes, I am accurate.

I used this talent back when I used to work. These days I dont work, but back when I did, I could never really hold a job long, so it was one interview after another to get new ones. But if I got the interview... I got the job, simple as that. Why? Because I could tell the interviewer exactly what they wanted to hear. The fact that each wants to hear something different is irrelevant. I can bloody well do it anyway.

As for how I do it: I have no bloody clue. Or at least, not that I can explain. The "processing" in my mind isnt really in words. Not really anything I can translate to text. You may as well be asking me what sound the color yellow makes.

It's a useful skill for dealing with people when I have to. But it doesnt prevent the endless social anxiety, and the fact that I really just dont like most people. Nor does it stop me from being totally freaking bizarre. So, useful, but not THAT useful.

Are you diagnosed?
Sorry you don't have a job, hope you find one you love.
You sound like you have excellent intuition.
Sorry to bang on about reading fiction, but did you read a lot of fiction as a child as this is known to help develop skills?

 

[Misery]

Are you diagnosed?
Sorry you don't have a job, hope you find one you love.
You sound like you have excellent intuition.
Sorry to bang on about reading fiction, but did you read a lot of fiction as a child as this is known to help develop skills?

Yes, I'm diagnosed. About... 10 years ago? I'm in my 30s.

As for a job: Well, it's been 10 years since THAT too. A job was necessary, once. Now, it'd be a bloody waste of time. Simply no longer necessary, wouldnt accomplish anything. Which is good, I was utterly miserable at every one of those jobs. I dont know how anyone does any of that without going mad.

And yes, I have good intuition. If that's what it is. Heck if I know. However it works, I just know things. I suppose it doesnt really matter how it works.

I do read ALOT of fiction. Usually horror/suspense with some sci-fi or fantasy thrown in sometimes. Been reading that stuff since I was like... 12? Not sure. Long time. Books all over the place.

Whether it develops skills or not though... well, I think what it mostly did was shape my speech patterns (I say "bloody stupid" alot because of too much Discworld, for instance) and sense of humor. Not to mention all the Garfield comics making me into a constant source of sarcasm.

 

[Ylva]

I have studied body language by watching movies of actors acting, so as long as the real person I'm talking to is speaking a similar body language to actors I guess I can read it. There are many dialects of body language, and I am far from proficient in most of them, and also I don't "speak" them as well as I "read" them… but that's how it is with all my languages: my passive vocabulary is much larger than my active one.

This method falls flat every time an actor interprets something differently than a real person would, however. Like how they play autistics: it rarely gels with how real autistics act, and by I act I guess I mean body-speak.

 

[Soleil]

I don't know if my experience helps, since I'm not diagnosed (yet), but I do strongly suspect that I am autistic.

I think I am pretty good at reading people's emotions through their expressions and tone of voice, basically on par with most neurotypical people. There are times when I'm not sure whether or not someone is joking, but in general my main problem is with holding and contributing to conversations. But I have read a lot of fiction when I was younger, especially fantasy.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Yes, I'm diagnosed. About... 10 years ago? I'm in my 30s.

As for a job: Well, it's been 10 years since THAT too. A job was necessary, once. Now, it'd be a bloody waste of time. Simply no longer necessary, wouldnt accomplish anything. Which is good, I was utterly miserable at every one of those jobs. I dont know how anyone does any of that without going mad.

And yes, I have good intuition. If that's what it is. Heck if I know. However it works, I just know things. I suppose it doesnt really matter how it works.

I do read ALOT of fiction. Usually horror/suspense with some sci-fi or fantasy thrown in sometimes. Been reading that stuff since I was like... 12? Not sure. Long time. Books all over the place.

Whether it develops skills or not though... well, I think what it mostly did was shape my speech patterns (I say "bloody stupid" alot because of too much Discworld, for instance) and sense of humor. Not to mention all the Garfield comics making me into a constant source of sarcasm.

I know the 9-5 grind is a pain but how do you make a living?
Comics are also good at teaching life lessons.
I really wish I hadn't given up reading.
It's a strange reason why I gave up reading, but I think the ASD folk on here will understand.

I have really poor co-ordination, I could talk at one year old but didn't learn to walk until 14 months and even then, could not keep my balance for a long time.

I was an obsessive reader, I might have even learnt before 2.
My Dad used to sadistically taunt me for falling down all the time.
I have synaesthesia across a few senses.

One day I saw my brother read a comic, and the shape of one of the speech bubbles reminded me of the sensation I got when my bottom hit the floor, when I fell down.
I averted my gaze from the speech bubble and never picked up another book or comic again, except for Enid Blyton books my mum got me for Christmas.

Unfortunately she bought Mr Twiddle a forgetful man, who I identified with.
Stupid story with no lessons in, repeated chapters about his mistakes.

I believe if I had of kept reading, I would have developed really well. Mum thought I was gifted but Dad refused to have me checked.

When he took us to the library he put me off by telling me I would have to pay fines.
It was like he didn't want me to read and grow.
I am now unemployed, miserable and feel like I have failed in life at 53 years old.

I really hope that I can get this diagnosis.
I have face-blindness
I have the face of an autistic person, we have cupids bows for top lips.
I have a strabismus.
I have poor co-ordination.
I have special interests.
I feel sorry for inanimate objects.
I have really unusual fixations.
I cannot tell what people are intending or thinking and am easily conned and fooled.
I have a funny gait and a funny walk.
I used to have a monotone voice until I practiced sounding higher pitched like the others.
I need a routine.
I need certainty in my life.
I hate being touched or hugged.
I can sing perfect pitch.
I can draw photo realistically.
Many other things, but I tend to ramble so I better stop there.

 

[Au Naturel]

I can see the obvious stuff like smiles and frowns and people huddling in fear. But those tests you see every now and again about facial expression? Half of the faces I see don't appear to express any emotion at all. yet they are supposed to be expressing anger or contempt or disgust or sadness or whatever. Also, I can't seem to distinguish between surprise and fear on a face.