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Bumping into people in public

marcadam

marcadam

Active Member
So today I was out with my non-Aspie partner browsing in the shops when we bump into one of his old friends. They both strike up a conversation and start discussing things like work, Christmas and Downton Abbey. All I could think was, OMG I really don't want to doing this and when will it end? I can only imagine they must be thinking what's his problem not joining in?

I this a common type of scenario amongst Aspies?
 
Oh my yes. I once felt intensely that way bumping into much of anyone!

For years I'd break out into literally what amounted to a "cold sweat" dealing with the stress in real-time of having to deal with an unscripted conversation that came out of nowhere.

It seldom happens to me anymore, although I live in what amounts to relative isolation. Contact with others is usually brief and incidental at best. "Mind over matter".

Those interactions don't matter, so I don't mind as much these days.
 
I can relate a bit. I won't always call attention to myself if I notice someone familiar in public, yet there's been moments I had a nice time catching up. Also, having to suddenly interact can be jarring to me, so I don't quite know to act even when it's a close friend.
 
Doesn't feel right saying I'm glad it's not just me. It is really hard work having to process everything and think about what you're going to say.

Cold sweats pretty much sums it up, although it is a lot easier when it's someone you know really well.
 
Yes when I go out with my husband to the shops he sometimes bump into one of his friends and then they start to chat about either RC cars or random stuff,my husband loves to talk while I'm usually standing there quiet wanting to just look at shops but yes I do get a bit annoyed when this happens.
 
Yes, this happens just about every time my partner and I go to the supermarket. I usually just wander off and look at something or continue shopping. I don't think that they notice or even care that I don't join in.
 
Hate it!! If I spot someone before they notice me I will go as far to duck in a shop or a different aisle of a supermarket to avoid having to make small talk. The whole situation makes my heart race and I feel panicky. Most often I see kids I used to teach which is doubly awkward because usually their social skills are as bad as mine!!
 
I totally get this. I'm not so bad now but I never start the conversation and just nod as I walk by. If they stop I will chat best I can, what comes out my mouth depends on a bunch of things really. I would like to bump into someone I like a lot though, if its someone I dont like then im a deer in headlights hahaha!

I got stopped by a stranger one day when I was walking, I cant remember what she said but I remember mumbling "I just walk" like a complete dunce and walked off... ah well!

I do prefer to be prepared!
 
haha yes so much! I will go to great lengths to avoid people when I spot them, and I hate it when whoever I am with starts chattering on to someone. It is so so boring, annoying, and awkward, because I know I should be politely joining in but I have absolutely nothing to say and just want to get on with whatever we are doing.
 
Ste11aeres said:
My problem is when it comes to people I've met only once or twice.

I don't recognize them. I can't recognize them.
Click to expand...
I have this problem too I recently bumped into the guy that was my wedding photographer and I didn't recognise him,I also have done this with a few people that I have met a few times and I didn't recognise them.
 
Adora said:
I have this problem too I recently bumped into the guy that was my wedding photographer and I didn't recognise him,I also have done this with a few people that I have met a few times and I didn't recognise them.
Click to expand...

I am the exact same way. I have faceblindness and it's unnerving. I get anxious not knowing who people are and have to let them talk until they say something that jars my memory.
 
I thought this was about physically colliding
with strangers. I don't care to do that. :confused:

Unexpectedly encountering a person with
whom I am somewhat familiar, assuming
that I am in good physical health at the time,
not tired or hungry, is not a problem, actually.

Even if I am with another person and I am
not acquainted with the "other one"----what
does that matter? If I don't know that person
and that person doesn't know me, I don't
expect a sudden 'chumminess' or 'making
conversation.'

If the person I am with wants to talk to
the "other one," I don't feel left out.
Conversely, I don't feel obligated to try
to 'join in' either.
 
I hate running into people in public. Usually I'll spot them first and run the other way. Usually when I'm out I'm on a mission so I don't have too much time to sit and talk to someone I don't really want to talk to.
 
If I feel like I can by myself with the person I bump into, then I don't care what is around me. I can ignore it and just enjoy talking with that person about anything really. If I'm with a friend and they bump into someone and talk a long time, especially if I'm not able to join the conversation or if I purposely get blocked, then I get upset. I try to leave those kind of situations immediately. If it was a mall, then I could browse another store.
 
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