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Broken Hands as an AS Comorbidity

Levitator

Well-Known Member
I've been here a while, and I spend a lot of time harping on prejudice directed at those who are the least bit different. I also wound up taking some time off from the forum parting with words to the effect that people won't stop oppressing me and abusing me. It was a matter of days after that discussion that I feel like I was issued a cosmic "I-told-you-so", so I thought I would share it with everyone. I had a minor disagreement with the landlady, where I calmly attempted to explain to her that she was collecting a week early and hadn't met her commitments, and so she turned and ran and begin denouncing me to the neighborhood, claiming that I was out to physically strike her, which was a total lie. The moment she heard a tone of disagreement in my voice, she turned to rush off. But this was my rent and housing that we were talking about, and so I followed after her, and I was like "How are you going to walk away from me when this is about where I'm going to live next month?". I suppose I can also reiterate that it's been a recurring theme with me that people walk away from me while I'm talking to them. Anyway, the moment I heard her begin telling people I was out to hit her, I threw my hands up and went home, deciding it wasn't worth it. The next day, I told her that to raise false accusations is against [faith rule], and to keep it short, she went completely insane and raised such a scandal that I wound up with a concussion and a broken hand. So, let me get this straight; we're accused of being volatile, weird, and crazy, but this is clearly acceptable and normal behavior, and I say normal in the statistical sense, since the equivalent happens all the time, if to lesser degrees, which, as I've said, I've harped on endlessly already. Note the picture where my hand is stuck doing the Vulcan V-salute, and my finger is unnaturally bent and rotated. The metacarpal was broken all the way through, and it collapsed sideways at the fracture. There was no trauma specialist at the hospital, so I had to grab my finger with my working hand and set the bone myself like you see people do in the movies. I won't digress further, but I've now accomplished more medically than some doctors I've met. It healed great, incidentally, so it's quite the boost from shade tree mechanic.

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I think, you know, you're intelligent, you're articulate, and it's kind of jarring reading your accounts of how people react poorly to you.

I am curious here. I am not making any judgments here. All I can say is that, I'm autistic, I know other autistic people, and I don't know, say, maybe you're living in a particularly mean city or something. But to answer the premise of your thread: I have never heard anyone else getting their hands broken in a confrontation as an ASD symptom.

Let me explain a bit about my philosophy as part of a commentary on your OP. I believe every single forum poster in the world (NT or ND) is an unreliable narrator - myself included. I rarely automatically side with these posts for that reason. Probably something about my ASD which compels me to evaluate things from the "unreliable narrator" perspective and take on the challenge of being the unpopular voice to bring up that perspective.

So, I can read your account from two perspectives here.

First, you have a landlady that has resulted in confrontations escalating twice, ending up in a broken hand, and a self-admitted tendency on other people's parts in walking away from you. Everyone's just a jerk to you for no real reason.

Second, and I think that this is something I've brought up before, that something in your nonverbal communication could be at badly odds with the message you want others to receive. You have to consider that ASD is a disorder where we lack control over how we are perceived by others, and understand how others perceive us. You could have the purest of intents and this might still happen if the ASD disconnect is large enough.

I don't know whether perspective is true and I never will because I didn't witness the incidents in question. So no judgment here. But I did want to put that out for your consideration.

I guess, my biggest question is, do you want to seek any solutions to stop these escalations from happening, or are you truly convinced that this is something that can be blamed squarely on other people?
 
I think, you know, you're intelligent, you're articulate, and it's kind of jarring reading your accounts of how people react poorly to you.

I am curious here. I am not making any judgments here. All I can say is that, I'm autistic, I know other autistic people, and I don't know, say, maybe you're living in a particularly mean city or something. But to answer the premise of your thread: I have never heard anyone else getting their hands broken in a confrontation as an ASD symptom.

Let me explain a bit about my philosophy as part of a commentary on your OP. I believe every single forum poster in the world (NT or ND) is an unreliable narrator - myself included. I rarely automatically side with these posts for that reason. Probably something about my ASD which compels me to evaluate things from the "unreliable narrator" perspective and take on the challenge of being the unpopular voice to bring up that perspective.

So, I can read your account from two perspectives here.

First, you have a landlady that has resulted in confrontations escalating twice, ending up in a broken hand, and a self-admitted tendency on other people's parts in walking away from you. Everyone's just a jerk to you for no real reason.

Second, and I think that this is something I've brought up before, that something in your nonverbal communication could be at badly odds with the message you want others to receive. You have to consider that ASD is a disorder where we lack control over how we are perceived by others, and understand how others perceive us. You could have the purest of intents and this might still happen if the ASD disconnect is large enough.

I don't know whether perspective is true and I never will because I didn't witness the incidents in question. So no judgment here. But I did want to put that out for your consideration.

I guess, my biggest question is, do you want to seek any solutions to stop these escalations from happening, or are you truly convinced that this is something that can be blamed squarely on other people?

It's absolutely her fault. It's silly to walk away from somebody in the middle of a (critical) housing transaction because they disagree with you, and then it's batsquat lunacy to accuse them of violence because you don't want to debate with them. I don't sit here randomly casting doubt on what other people say unless there's some contradiction or inconsistency. The behavior I described is 100% consistent with the virtual and literal lynchings that history is rife with. And yes, a bad neighborhood was a factor, but that is where you spend your days when society hates you because they think you're subjectively doofy looking. They are so cruel and insane it defies description, but philosophers secular and otherwise have strived throughout history nonetheless.
 
It's absolutely her fault. It's silly to walk away from somebody in the middle of a (critical) housing transaction because they disagree with you, and then it's batsquat lunacy to accuse them of violence because you don't want to debate with them. I don't sit here randomly casting doubt on what other people say unless there's some contradiction or inconsistency. The behavior I described is 100% consistent with the virtual and literal lynchings that history is rife with. And yes, a bad neighborhood was a factor, but that is where you spend your days when society hates you because they think you're subjectively doofy looking. They are so cruel and insane it defies description, but philosophers secular and otherwise have strived throughout history nonetheless.
Understood, thank you. That answers my question. I hope you two can resolve this peacefully.
 
Here's another thing. A lot of the people who actually get autism diagnoses and are self-aware about it have educated families who advocated for them, either so that they got support, or they got participation in society regardless. I guarantee you that there are droves of undiagnosed people who, as you say, are dismissed simply as "living in a bad neighborhood" There is also; "being a bum", a drug addict, or a jailbird, all of which can be outcomes not of being a bad person, but of lacking the support and advocacy you need when the world despises what you are or what you look like but there is nobody who gives a damn in your favor.
 
Here's another thing. A lot of the people who actually get autism diagnoses and are self-aware about it have educated families who advocated for them, either so that they got support, or they got participation in society regardless. I guarantee you that there are droves of undiagnosed people who, as you say, are dismissed simply as "living in a bad neighborhood" There is also; "being a bum", a drug addict, or a jailbird, all of which can be outcomes not of being a bad person, but of lacking the support and advocacy you need when the world despises what you are or what you look like but there is nobody who gives a damn in your favor.

It's frustrating to me because a lot of what you see here is a self-selecting set. It's not your fault you have support or that your "problem" has been identified for you and that you've gotten counseling. It does, however, fall to you to understand that not everybody gets support. Some people get thrown out on the street and they get confused with bums and criminals. Why do I live in a crappy neighborhood surrounded by criminals? That's not a symptom of autism. Actually, it is. It's a symptom of not having any support because people don't like you.
 
Yes, completely agree. This world badly lacks compassion and mercy.

What goes around comes around, and all of the people who keep hurting others knowing it's wrong, figuring they're getting away with it, are going to have to ask themselves, when the cosmic bill arrives, for what period they're likewise going to keep reaping "karma" after they've already learned their lesson. There might be quite the backlog, given their dedication to "getting away with it". Compassion, I need. It's evil people that need mercy. I don't go around telling people to hurt or oppress each other. That's what people do to me.
 
Ive had that someone making a false accusation when i was in meltdown, it was bad. People sometimes just hallucinate honestly.
 
Ive had that someone making a false accusation when i was in meltdown, it was bad. People sometimes just hallucinate honestly.

Just like you think your mind is a private place, people think lashing out against the vulnerable is private, because it can't have any consequences. Now, the instant you disabuse them of that notion, they panic because they've been seen, and they respond with brutality. It's a common sickness, and it goes unpunished because it's normal.
 
She lied and told people that I was an assailant and it led to a physical altercation.
I still don’t understand. She attacked you? You fought with her? You fought with someone else? You punched a wall?
 
I still don’t understand. She attacked you? You fought with her? You fought with someone else? You punched a wall?
She called on people to defend her from me, I told them to stay away from me, and when they didn't, it went to hell because I'm a victim of tremendous abuses. I've been locked up before on false charges. I've been sat down in an ad-hoc 'interrogation room" someone set up, illegally and unethically in a medical clinic, I've been sexually assaulted in custody, and when I tell someone to stay the hell away from me, they had better do it. Their problem is that they habitually and pathologically do outrageously wrong and evil things, and when you call them on it, they want to kill you. That's why I call on faith all the time, and you don't like that. I regret that you feel that way, but the're a reason.
 
I have the deepest compassion for those non-verbal people who suffer meltdowns and can't even communicate what it is that they're upset about, but you have to figure that if they can't even speak, they must be freaking out about unimaginable evil.
 
Their problem is that they habitually and pathologically do outrageously wrong and evil things, and when you call them on it, they want to kill you. That's why I call on faith all the time, and you don't like that. I regret that you feel that way, but the're a reason.
I hope you can appreciate the perspective of someone who believes in the same faith as you.

Yes - Jesus did absolutely nothing and paid the ultimate price for this. And so did all of the Apostles and Paul. And yes the Bible does emphasize the importance of compassion, and everyone in a well-off situation should take heed of the parable of the sheep and goats.

As Jesus put it:
it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

The hardest part of Christianity is that we are called to love the world and sacrifice ourselves for the sake of the world.

Colossians 3:12-13:
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Ephesians 4:31-32:
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I will note that Paul was writing Ephesians from jail.

2 Corinthians 11:24-28:
Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.

So Paul was homeless and frequently beaten/abused and had a bunch of pressure on him to perform as well. It sounds like you would relate to that.

I am, as you point out, a self-selecting group--privileged and full of support. I don't have any standing on which to exhort you to pray to try and put aside the anger and frustration you are obviously experiencing. All I can do is share the words of the faith you profess, and maybe that provides you a different kind of comfort.

I hope you can find the help, and peace, which you are seeking.
 
I hope you can appreciate the perspective of someone who believes in the same faith as you.

Yes - Jesus did absolutely nothing and paid the ultimate price for this. And so did all of the Apostles and Paul. And yes the Bible does emphasize the importance of compassion, and everyone in a well-off situation should take heed of the parable of the sheep and goats.

As Jesus put it:


The hardest part of Christianity is that we are called to love the world and sacrifice ourselves for the sake of the world.

Colossians 3:12-13:


Ephesians 4:31-32:


I will note that Paul was writing Ephesians from jail.

2 Corinthians 11:24-28:


So Paul was homeless and frequently beaten/abused and had a bunch of pressure on him to perform as well. It sounds like you would relate to that.

I am, as you point out, a self-selecting group--privileged and full of support. I don't have any standing on which to exhort you to pray to try and put aside the anger and frustration you are obviously experiencing. All I can do is share the words of the faith you profess, and maybe that provides you a different kind of comfort.

I hope you can find the help, and peace, which you are seeking.
I appreciate you, and it's ok. It's very frustrating, it's upsetting, and it's not personal or anything against you. I do strive to forgive people and to live in internal peace. It's hard to maintain because no sooner are you done recovering from one setback (which someone cruelly inflicted on you), the next person is waiting in line to lie to you, cheat you, beat you up, or denounce you. You're told to keep things simple, and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and that's what I do.
 
I appreciate you, and it's ok. It's very frustrating, it's upsetting, and it's not personal or anything against you. I do strive to forgive people and to live in internal peace. It's hard to maintain because no sooner are you done recovering from one setback (which someone cruelly inflicted on you), the next person is waiting in line to lie to you, cheat you, beat you up, or denounce you. You're told to keep things simple, and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and that's what I do.
Yes, completely understandable. I am sorry you are experiencing this.

May I suggest finding a quiet place sometime today and pouring it all out in prayer? A true, no-holds-barred prayer session where you let down all your guards and detail everything that has happened to you and all the feelings you are experiencing, and inviting the Holy Spirit to make this easier.

Got to start my day now, but leave you with this: Psalms 142
 

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